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Old 03-28-2012, 07:42 PM
 
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Hmm, I have dated my current BF for three months, and knew him for six months before that, and don't feel "exclusive"...different strokes for different folks.

I don't date anyone else, nor do I want to. But the whole issue seems controlling to me. Good thing he never asked.
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Old 03-28-2012, 07:48 PM
 
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I have seen people be "exclusive" for years and break up. That was wasted time neither of them could get back. I say after dating for about a year max people should have some idea where they want to go.
If a woman is interested she is not going anywhere. Women know way before men do.
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Old 03-28-2012, 07:57 PM
 
Location: East coast-New England
1,038 posts, read 701,443 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jasper12 View Post
Hmm, I have dated my current BF for three months, and knew him for six months before that, and don't feel "exclusive"...different strokes for different folks.

I don't date anyone else, nor do I want to. But the whole issue seems controlling to me. Good thing he never asked.

I dont understand though. You say you knew him for 6 months, and on top of that, you now have been dating for 3 months.

But, the thing that sticks out to me is..you refer to him as your BF. Boyfriend, correct? Im a bit stumped as to how you call him your boyfriend, but you dont feel exclusive?? No way im going to consider someone my 'boyfriend' yet I dont feel like we are exclusive. Whats the point of calling him a 'boyfriend'? Just say you guys are just casually dating then. You say you are not dating anyone else..but is he?? See..I dont like that kind of feeling. You are spending time, and perhaps getting emotional and what not with someone who you cant even feel exclusive with. And if you are having sex..even worse. That would kind of suck to me.

I mean that's fine if you are casually dating. But its the fact you refer to him as a boyfriend that is weird. No disrespect, its just boyfriend kinda usually equals exclusive in my world. Anything else is just dating.
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Old 03-28-2012, 08:07 PM
 
Location: East coast-New England
1,038 posts, read 701,443 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Caltovegas View Post
I have seen people be "exclusive" for years and break up. That was wasted time neither of them could get back. I say after dating for about a year max people should have some idea where they want to go.
If a woman is interested she is not going anywhere. Women know way before men do.

Thats just life. What is the alternative..arranged marriages? No thanks. You have relationships, you break up..you move on. I have learned from each of them. However, i dont feel a certain time frame will just be THE magic number. Like, at a year you HAVE to decide what ya wanna do.

However..that being said..I absolutely do understand where you are coming from. I have seen people date for long periods of time and break up..yes. See..im torn because on the one hand, I agree with you..but on the other hand, I also feel you cant just say okay..a year has gone by! Ding ding ding! Time's up! You have to make up your mind....are we getting married or not?! (if marriage is what you mean by knowing where something is 'going'). But..on the OTHER hand..i dont want to wait 5 years either. LOL Both folks just hopefully need to be on same page.
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Old 03-29-2012, 03:59 AM
 
Location: Iowa, Heartland of Murica
3,195 posts, read 3,312,372 times
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Dude, this whole "exclusivity" thing makes you sound like a pansy, no offense. I will say this once again, you should not be the one asking a woman to be exclusive, she should be the one asking you and when she does, if she does, NEVER give her a straight answer, just be evasive.

Go with the flow, have sex with this woman, and eventually she will ask you, like women ALWAYS do, "So, what do you think about us?", the best possible answer would be "I am not sure", even if you are really interested in her.

It sounds like you still need to work on your game but like I said, the best way to keep a woman interested is by NOT showing your cards or leaving things up in the air, the best way to turn off a woman is starting this lame "exclusivity" talk, it makes you sound like a desperate pansy that has no game.

Can you picture someone like Snoop Dogg going up to a woman and being like " So, what do you think about us being exclusive?" Come on, man!
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Old 03-29-2012, 07:20 AM
 
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Gosh, that's a terrible advice

Honestly, if someone comes up to me with a Snoop Dogg swagger acting all nonchalant about us AFTER WE HAVE HAD SEX, that's going to be the last time they see me.
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Old 03-29-2012, 07:24 AM
 
18,307 posts, read 17,680,778 times
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Originally Posted by bellakin123 View Post
I believe as adults, we're experienced enough to know how the other person feels. You can tell by conversations, things they say or do, the quality of time that is spent together, etc. My husband never officially asked to be "steady". He just assumed we were (I guess I did too lol) because we felt the same way about each other and it was understood.
OMG are you kidding? Have you read ANY of the threads on this forum?????
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Old 03-29-2012, 07:29 AM
 
18,307 posts, read 17,680,778 times
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Originally Posted by MissLucky View Post
John, the guy I'm dating asked to be exclusive on our 2nd date two weeks ago and we haven't even had sex yet. If your is girl as interested as you think she is, she will be quite happy you asked. No one likes sharing the person they are interested in.
This was EXACTLY my experience as well. Once we realized that we had hit it off like firecrackers, my BF said something to the effect of "Now, you're gonna have to put all those other guys on hold for a while, okay"? And of course, I did.
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Old 03-29-2012, 08:11 AM
 
Location: USA
1,384 posts, read 1,033,683 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom View Post
This was EXACTLY my experience as well. Once we realized that we had hit it off like firecrackers, my BF said something to the effect of "Now, you're gonna have to put all those other guys on hold for a while, okay"? And of course, I did.

That's a great way of putting it! to your BF. I like that.
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Old 03-29-2012, 08:18 AM
 
8,699 posts, read 12,513,332 times
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If a girl needs to be told, she shouldn't be told.
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