Women with low self esteem... hard to date? (married, single, attracted)

[hamellr]

Originally Posted by cpg35223

She should have been the dream girlfriend, because she was cool in so many ways -- beautiful, brainy, funny, and a great disposition. But every meal out was this constant struggle, a continual "If I eat that I'll get even fatter than I am right now." I mean, a simple beer and a hot dog at a baseball game would give her a major case of the guilts. This continual self-deprecation on her part just grew to be so freaking exhausting, that I couldn't handle it anymore. Even recounting it, I'm grinding my teeth, because I spent a great deal of time telling her how magnificent she was in every conceivable sense of the word. It just wasn't healthy.

I've had simliar issues. Drop dead gorgeous woman, we'd be out at a dance club or something and she'd be surrounded by half a dozen guys trying to get her attention and buy her drinks. Yet she'd always be asking if I thought she was pretty, and going out to eat just got impossible after a while.

[stepka]

Originally Posted by Doll Eyes

hilarious how they expect a woman to have such over the top self esteem when they treat them like garbage or talk about them like they are garbage.

I think these men are being very respectful. What made me mad is when my former BIL who used to be a player, told me that he and his friend would look for women with low self-esteem b/c they could get them into bed easier. That's talking about women like they're garbage. Fortunately he got older and wiser.

[Currency Pair Crocodile]

The crocodile loves such girls.

Very high self-esteem, ego and megalomania are male attributes. One can't live with a woman who has them. Typically disqualifies her from being a stable relationship investment.

On the other hand, very low self-esteem is also dangerous. Low self-esteem can be pumped up to average. The crocodile likes his girls just in the middle, somewhat insecure and somewhat needy in terms of needing a shoulder to lean their heads on.

I've never met a woman with 100% self-esteem. She does not exist. It's against nature.

[Doll Eyes]

Originally Posted by stepka

I think these men are being very respectful. What made me mad is when my former BIL who used to be a player, told me that he and his friend would look for women with low self-esteem b/c they could get them into bed easier. That's talking about women like they're garbage. Fortunately he got older and wiser.

Oh yea a lot of them think like this, that isn't a surprise.

[Ulysses61]

RUN! Run as fast as your legs will carry you. Not only is dating someone with low self-esteem a drag, just being around someone like this (platonically) is hell. There is no "saving" them, it's a waste of your time. And people with low self-esteem have all sorts of other baggage. They're too busy worrying about their supposed flaws they will have no time/inclination to pay any attention to you. A losing propostion!

[Lucario]

Originally Posted by Texan2008

I say yes given my experience. Recently dated one and tried to help her feel better about herself...turned out to be a collosal waste of energy and time. She did have some really good qualities..she just didn't see them in herself. Any guys want to chime in with their experiences.

Don't know much about this, but I could see how dealing with a woman with those problems would be annoying. She would always be discounting what you find attractive about her ("You only like me because I'm -----." "You don't love me. You only like my -----.") That could get real old real quick. I see a lot of that on this forum, actually.

[subPrimeTime]

What's funny is how this thread would never work if the roles were reversed, cause women don't date men who have low self-esteem or aren't fully confident in themselves. It wouldn't even be up for debate.

But women can do fine in the dating world (along with marriage) with low self-esteem, it's not an ideal way to go through life of course, but they usually land on their feet if they have other good qualities.

[strawberrykiki]

I hate it when people (male and female) can't take a compliment. If someone compliments me I say thank you!

[FrmlyBklyn]

Originally Posted by strawberrykiki

I hate it when people (male and female) can't take a compliment. If someone compliments me I say thank you!

You are the exception!

[Dewdrop93]

Well, seeing all these mean posts about people with low self -esteem - is it any wonder they struggle with low self-esteem? Geesh!