U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 1.5 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Jump to a detailed profile or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Business Search - 14 Million verified businesses
Search for:  near: 
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 03-28-2012, 11:36 AM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
15,959 posts, read 8,260,649 times
Reputation: 15854
Quote:
Originally Posted by howdydoody342 View Post
Why would u want to date a girl that is that much of a mess, shouldnt u date people that are gonna make u feel better and boost you?
Quote:
Originally Posted by FrmlyBklyn View Post
There is NOTHING attractive about consistent insecurity. Would you sink your assets into a black hole? Why would you?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ulysses61 View Post
RUN! Run as fast as your legs will carry you. Not only is dating someone with low self-esteem a drag, just being around someone like this (platonically) is hell. There is no "saving" them, it's a waste of your time. And people with low self-esteem have all sorts of other baggage. They're too busy worrying about their supposed flaws they will have no time/inclination to pay any attention to you. A losing propostion!
Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223 View Post
Who's being mean? We're just answering a simple question.
Just my 2 cents.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 03-28-2012, 11:37 AM
 
Location: New Jersey
8,739 posts, read 4,675,508 times
Reputation: 7273
well they think these women that aren't running around telling everyone how amazing they are too below them but the ones that's doing that are stuck up or entitled.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-28-2012, 11:38 AM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
15,959 posts, read 8,260,649 times
Reputation: 15854
Quote:
Originally Posted by howdydoody342 View Post
Not to pick on u but to use this as an example. Women with low self esteem will bounce from one boyfriend to the next because they are so insecure with being single. Im not saying that was u but there are woman that cant go on being single at some point in their lives.
I wouldn't say I bounced around - I've been in 3 long lasting relationships. But I think what people are missing on this thread - which is what people miss on all threads like this - is that very few people are one dimensional. I don't know anyone with low self-esteem who doesn't have any other redeeming qualities. Even when I was at my worst - I was still funny, smart, and good company at least some of the time!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-28-2012, 11:38 AM
 
Location: Wherever women are
19,023 posts, read 13,767,354 times
Reputation: 11309
Quote:
Originally Posted by howdydoody342 View Post
Why would u want to date a girl that is that much of a mess, shouldnt u date people that are gonna make u feel better and boost you?
The only person who is ever capable of making me feel better is me. Looking outside for a boost enters beta manlet category.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-28-2012, 11:40 AM
 
24,781 posts, read 26,159,449 times
Reputation: 33249
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doll Eyes View Post
well they think these women that aren't running around telling everyone how amazing they are are below them but the ones that's doing that are stuck up or entitled.
Well, let's just go from one extreme to another, shall we?

There's an enormous gulf between being incredibly self-absorbed and being so insecure that you need constant reassurance that you're not ugly, fat, or any number of other ginned-up self-esteem issues.

To be sure, everybody worries about him or herself at one time or another. At the same time, 99% of guys want someone who is somewhere in the middle, a woman who feels good about herself most of the time and isn't so fragile that she needs a constant cheerleader at her side, repeating "You're pretty, you're skinny, you're infinitely desirable" like some mantra. I don't think that's unreasonable at all. Most people have enough baggage in life as it is, without having to carry someone else's steamer trunk at the same time.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-28-2012, 11:45 AM
 
Location: New Jersey
8,739 posts, read 4,675,508 times
Reputation: 7273
Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223 View Post
Well, let's just go from one extreme to another, shall we?

There's an enormous gulf between being incredibly self-absorbed and being so insecure that you need constant reassurance that you're not ugly, fat, or any number of other ginned-up self-esteem issues.

To be sure, everybody worries about him or herself at one time or another. At the same time, 99% of guys want someone who is somewhere in the middle, a woman who feels good about herself most of the time and isn't so fragile that she needs a constant cheerleader at her side, repeating "You're pretty, you're skinny, you're infinitely desirable" like some mantra. I don't think that's unreasonable at all.

I don't know where this idea comes from. But I have low self esteem and I don't run around looking for men to tell me I'm this or that -- in fact I'd prefer if they didn't say anything at all in those areas b/c I don't believe half the things they say anyways. Most of it is motivated by other things... I really do think it's the male trying to boost his own self importance and also I seen one or two female poster on here saying the same things as them: "OH my friend with low self esteem, always required me to have to say this or that for her to feel good." Really?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-28-2012, 11:48 AM
 
24,781 posts, read 26,159,449 times
Reputation: 33249
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doll Eyes View Post
I don't know where this idea comes from. But I have low self esteem and I don't run around looking for men to tell me I'm this or that -- in fact I'd prefer if they didn't say anything at all in those areas b/c I don't believe half the things they say anyways. Most of it is motivated by other things... I really do think it's the male trying to boost his own self importance and also I seen one or two female poster on here saying the same things as them: "OH my friend with low self esteem, always required me to have to say this or that for her to feel good." Really?
It comes from actually dating someone like that. She needed constant reinforcement despite having so many great qualities. Sorry that you can't accept that there are people in the world who aren't like you, whose self-esteem problems are markedly different than your own.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-28-2012, 11:51 AM
 
Location: Center of the universe
23,933 posts, read 19,736,670 times
Reputation: 11200
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doll Eyes View Post
I don't know where this idea comes from. But I have low self esteem and I don't run around looking for men to tell me I'm this or that -- in fact I'd prefer if they didn't say anything at all in those areas b/c I don't believe half the things they say anyways. Most of it is motivated by other things... I really do think it's the male trying to boost his own self importance and also I seen one or two female poster on here saying the same things as them: "OH my friend with low self esteem, always required me to have to say this or that for her to feel good." Really?
See what I mean........................?

Maybe he is telling you you're cute, or whatever......because he actually believes that. But I know all men are liars........
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-28-2012, 11:52 AM
 
Location: SoCal - Sherman Oaks & Woodland Hills
12,980 posts, read 18,205,787 times
Reputation: 10491
Quote:
Originally Posted by LaoTzuMindFu View Post
Not at all. They are easy to date. But also easy to dump ASAP when their "issue" arise.

I always tell dudes who just got out of bad relationships, or are in dry spells to focus on chicks with self esteem issues. They can usually be found in bookstores in the "self help" or "new age" sections looking for "answers" to whatever "issues" they are facing. They are prime targets for dating. An added bonus is that crazy women are almost always great in bed.
You folks can go on and on about this topic but this here ^^^^ is the absolute truth.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-28-2012, 11:53 AM
 
24,781 posts, read 26,159,449 times
Reputation: 33249
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucario View Post
See what I mean........................?

Maybe he is telling you you're cute, or whatever......because he actually believes that. But I know all men are liars........
Bingo.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $84,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2014, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25 - Top