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The reasons she probably say these things is b/c she likely seen it being played out again and again. Even with little to no history, I seen it myself. Black men generally prefer 'other' women & have no problem stating why they do and "what's wrong with us," this is not a falsehood. It's every day life.
Unless you're their mother or maybe aunt/sister you are safe--every other black woman is up for scrutinization
The reasons she probably say these things is b/c she likely seen it being played out again and again. Even with little to no history, I seen it myself. Black men generally prefer 'other' women & have no problem stating why they do and "what's wrong with us," this is not a falsehood. It's every day life.
They are everywhere. I've had black men who were in IR make nasty comments to me that were entirely gratuitous. Another time I was in the supermarket and a black guy with a very lightskinned girlfriend saw me and said loudly that he didn't believe that a black woman like me could have hair so long and that his girlfriend has "green eyes and lightskin" thus making her prettier than me. Another unwarranted situation. I could go on.
They are everywhere. I've had black men who were in IR make nasty comments to me that were entirely gratuitous. Another time I was in the supermarket and a black guy with a very lightskinned girlfriend saw me and said loudly that he didn't believe that a black woman like me could have hair so long and that his girlfriend has "green eyes and lightskin" thus making her prettier than me. Another unwarranted situation. I could go on.
So you encounter all the idiots, so you think we're all idiots. So, if I roll up to you on the street and tell you you're a beautiful Nubian queen, are you going to consider that a nasty comment as well? You probably would.
So you encounter all the idiots, so you think we're all idiots. So, if I roll up to you on the street and tell you you're a beautiful Nubian queen, are you going to consider that a nasty comment as well? You probably would.
That's not what those black men said to me. Not all black men are like this but those situations stood out to me--and they were hurtful.
That's not what those black men said to me. Not all black men are like this but those situations stood out to me--and they were hurtful.
I know that is not what those black men said to you.....just saying (and hoping, frankly) that some black men would say (or think) the same thing I put here. Not everyone is negative or an idiot.
Excluding someone based on race would be racism if the underlining reasons aren't related to preference. For instance, if someone didn't want to date an entire group of people because of certain impressions about their character as it explicitly links to racial derivatives, that isn't preferences. That's profiling someone and then attempting to use your own irrational assumptions as just cause, while subtly trying to claim preference. Mind you, multiple experiences might be at the root cause of those sentiments, but altogether disqualifying people for it is going a bit far.
On the other hand, if you're excluding people individually (as opposed to entire groups), that's preference. Likewise, if exclusions is motivated solely on sexual attraction, suppositions of familial compatibility, or other impression not linked to race, that's preference. I think there's more racist daters out there than anticipated....
Ugh... this logic just screams of college. It reminds me of the sociology topics I had to write on back in the day.
Anyway. I don't think it's necessarily "profiling" if it's done for cultural reasons. I probably wouldn't have much in common with a black man who grew up in the inner city. I grew up in a 99.9% Irish Catholic community (and I'm anglo protestant). Our cultural histories would be so different that it could be a hard bridge to build. Is it impossible? No, I find many black men to be very attractive and I would date a black man but I just can see trouble. My cousin is married to a black man. They are still married. I don't know if they're happy or not. I can't tell with them.
One of my biracial friends grew up in a 100% white, surburban community. She has the same cultural history as me (with the obvious exception that she struggled being the "black girl" and I didn't). If I found a male version of her then I don't think it would be an issue. To me, it's just about finding someone who shares your values and can relate to you. If you can find someone who is completely different in terms of background but still connect then awesome. I never really got the chance to try so what do I know. I met a kid from the next town over and fell in love. End of story.
For some people, skin color is a preference or maybe hair color or maybe eye shape or petite framing. Some of those characteristics are common to entire races. If that person doesn't like that commonality then they aren't going to be attracted to an INDIVIDUAL of that race no matter what. I don't consider that racism.
I wish to GAWD that Black women would stop with this unwanted and unnecessary "allegiance" to Black men nonsense. They don't care what you think about who they date. So why do Black women act as if they are afraid to anger Black men by dating a non-Black man?
If I saw you in person i'd give you a high five
Sistas we need to EXPLORE!
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