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LOL it isn't a riddle. I don't think most men (black or otherwise) even care. I never hear them mention it myself. BUT I don't honestly know how someone can sit there with a straight face and deny that the interracial movement isn't talking about black men in the worst way. If anyone reads the websites, the discussion is primarily about how bad black men are, and why white men are a 'better' choice. It's sort of a new age science, and more often than not 'agents' from those websites make it over onto these boards and subtly (depending on the attitude of the board) attempt to 'recruit' them into a specific way of thinking.
Like I said, I'm for anyone getting in where they fit in, be open, date the rainbow....but the recruitment is hilarious nonetheless. I mean the lengths some go through...wow.
There's even a paid forum where black women actually go to listen to other black women on stage to teach and convince them how they are denying themselves by not being with a white guy.
But I think it's painfully obvious where the photos and where the rhetoric is from. I mean word for word, pic for pic, it's right there on the website. How is anyone "threatened" by pointing that out?
Totally agree with this one. I am a black male and have many friends of all races. Several of my male colleagues are caucasian & they prefer to date caucasian women. Not racist. Just a preference. Whenever I read an article or visit a forum focusing on interracial relationships I notice that most of the issues/complaints come from black women.
I traveled internationally and I know for a fact that there are asian & indian women who would date but would NEVER MARRY AND/OR BRING A BLACK MAN HOME TO THEIR PARENTS. Had nothing to do with the man. But had everything to do with parent expectations and things they have read and heard. Did I get mad and complain about it? HELL NO!!! I JUST KEPT IT MOVING.
We black men could care less who you date. You want to date a man outside of your own race. So be it. Have fun and enjoy!! If you meet a black man or any man that bashes you over the head for this than PAY HIM NO ATTENTION. He is an idiot with low self-esteem and is only doing it because he cannot find a woman himself.
I love black, white,asian, hispanic, indian and every other type of woman that is out there. If your cute, have a great personality, and are emotionally stable then I guarantee you that you will have no problems finding a good man. I find it EXTREMELY DIFFICULT to even find a woman who isn't still bitter and complaining about her last crappy relationship.
Adding the interracial issue just makes things even worse.
I get so sick of hearing women complain about black men in interracial relationships. My mentality: DO WHATEVER MAKES YOU HAPPY,
Just my humble opinion. Take it anyway you want.
Last edited by usamathman; 04-07-2012 at 05:54 AM..
I agree, however, many people just don't "get it" in regards to this topic. Many feel a preference is just a preference, but fail to realize that preferences (in terms of potential dating partners) often have a very sizeable racial component that many people refuse to acknowledge.
Actually, I think that members of the race or races being snubbed ought to realize that many times these dating and friendship preferences are due to non racist factors like that person having a certain visual preference or that they have an objection to a cultural behaviour... not a blanket diss on their whole race.
Otherwise, not everyone dates for just casual fun and sex. There are those who only want to date someone that they can imagine eventually getting married to and having kids with. In that case, the potential person they date will need to have compatible spiritual and moral values, and common life goals. And they may also be keen on their children looking like the rest of their family. And I don't think that there is anything wrong with that wish.
Oh it's a "movement" lol...trust me, I've been on other black forums and if you think that they discuss interracial dating on this forum a lot...wait until you see it on a black forum if you already haven't. The recruitment is heavy on there. There's certain black women on there that travel from one site to the next that have all types of books, blogs, pics, movies, and a campaign speech that Obama would be envious of. They have it locked and loaded for these very topics.
It seems to me from the posts that I read here, that the only person who frequents those "recruitment" websites are you. Then you post whatever it is that you see on those websites and make it seem that this is how black women who want to date IR think. Oh please.
I am one of those people who said that I am open to IR dating. I didn't come to that conclusion because I read some mumbo jumbo on no website/blog or saw a movie on the topic or read a book. I am not so easily influenced and don't care what the popular sentiment is or what other black women do. All that matters is what is right for me.
Just because you read some nonsense from another website doesn't all of a sudden make it factual information.
Actually, I think that members of the race or races being snubbed ought to realize that many times these dating and friendship preferences are due to non racist factors like that person having a certain visual preference or that they have an objection to a cultural behaviour... not a blanket diss on their whole race.
Otherwise, not everyone dates for just casual fun and sex. There are those who only want to date someone that they can imagine eventually getting married to and having kids with. In that case, the potential person they date will need to have compatible spiritual and moral values, and common life goals. And they may also be keen on their children looking like the rest of their family. And I don't think that there is anything wrong with that wish.
I don't either but I believe that's only part of the story. The other part, that people are unwilling to admit (or maybe it's a subconscious feeling because it is un-PC) is that they hold beliefs about how their spouse will be perceived by others, and that the selection of spouses of certain races is considered a "downgrade" that would subject them to scrutiny that they could avoid by not making that selection.
If a white man marries a black woman, his life will probably change, and there may be some discomfort associated with it that he's not used to.
Anyway, that was my experience. My presence set off some stuff that this man would not have experienced with a white woman on his arm.
When I posted this earlier, people had shocking reactions -- like this can't be happening today in our post-racial society. Yes, it is still here.
I don't know what you do but I don't frequent any other internet forums besides this one and one's about style/fashion/make-up/hair....so sorry, I'm not a part of a conspiracy.
My specific advice to Black women (the ones who have expressed having problems with finding love) is be to open to non-Black men as options for romantic relationships. But I also advise that Black women work on making themselves better "catches" all around. (I made a list somewhere in this thread but I'm not going to hunt it down)
The reason that I say what I do about this issue is because (in my case) the same Black friends have had the same complaints about men for as long as I can remember. While other friends have no problem. And there is a distant difference in the thoughts/beliefs/attitudes about men/overall attitudes/etc between the two groups. I am tired of the same women, who complain about not having a man, but who will whip out a mile-long list of must-haves that are absolutely ridiculous (and beyond unrealistic)
See, this is what I think is funny. Not a single black woman in this thread has stated that they were not open to dating interracially. They have all openly admitted that they have either dated or loved men of other races at some point, and those who haven't have openly stated that they would be more than happy to seize the opportunity to do so if it presented itself. At no time, did any of them get into this whole idea of any black man or that the black community was conspiratal in preventing them from ever doing so.
Many of them have simply discussed the reality of the problems of not being so cavalierly accepted by these men of other races. Their obstacle is NOT with black men, the black community or anything remotely related to the how black people perceive themselves. Their issue is specifically with how these other men are perceiving them or accepting of who they are as black women. Black men are as relevant to this problem as the price of tea is in Boston.
What I think is even stranger is how you continuously and selectively argue that black men are "color struck" "open to others" etc etc, but you refuse to acknowledge the fact that some of these very same non-black men (whom you are trying to 'recruit' them to) are "color struck" themselves, and harbor many of the same issues with black women, that you claim black men hold against black women. Instead you go into posting specially selected pics to defend non-black males and parrot this rhetoric to get them all worked about what black men are allegedly doing to them. It's like any ammo that they fire at their issue with men of other races--you take it and fire it right in the direction of black men. My question is why?
The base of your argument not only mimics what I've seen on these black female interracial blogging sites; but it's completely unnecessary and unfounded on this board and in this thread. This is why you and few of the other posters continue to go back and fourth with differing opinions about it. Because you continuously attempt to try to feed them something that they've never debated with you about in the first place.
If Nyanna, Doll Face and a few others continue to tell you that they are having problems being accepted due to their aesthetics, why do you repeatedly try to tell them that it's because they are "loyal" to black men? Forget the idea that I personally believe that it's patently false, but ask yourself as to what relevance does it even has in responding to them?
Another example that there's more to cross-racial dating than physical appearance.
A hispanic man was interested in me a couple of years ago (btw, I am black/African American). We are equally professional in our education and careers, which we both liked, and he was physically attracted to me as well. But in the course of one of our conversations, he said that his mom "hates blacks."
So again, there are many reasons brewing under the surface beyond physical appearance that people don't feel comfortable admitting. I am extremely grateful that this man was honest with me his mom's sentiments before we became involved. Having been treated unkindly by another man's family it isn't something I wished to repeat again.
Some of the most beautiful women that I know or have ever seen were dark skin women.
Please stop judging yourself in comparison to video vixens and rapper h-s. Stop defining your beauty based on the skewed/twisted/narrow definitions that someone else has and embrace your own.
I don't have any European/Native American features, and this is my problem. Many of the 'dark' black women who get a pass and are called 'hot' have them. My features are predominantly Sub-saharan African and other races don't find find them attractive unless its mixed with Euro features. I can try to improve on my appearance with plastic surgery and I plan on getting steroid injections to lighten my skin. Sometimes being yourself just isn't enough
I don't have any European/Native American features, and this is my problem. Many of the 'dark' black women who get a pass and are called 'hot' have them. My features are predominantly Sub-saharan African and other races don't find find them attractive unless its mixed with Euro features. I can try to improve on my appearance with plastic surgery and I plan on getting steroid injections to lighten my skin. Sometimes being yourself just isn't enough
That's not true. Don't feed into what you see in the media. It's all bs and hype.
There are people (some of your more hipster-type white men, in particular) who like very dark, very African-featured women, with full hips and thighs, and the love them deeply. I know a number who married such women. I see these pairings more than I see ones with fairer-skinned, angled featured, thin black women.
That's not true. Don't feed into what you see in the media. It's all bs and hype.
There are people (some of your more hipster-type white men, in particular) who like very dark, very African-featured women, with full hips and thighs, and the love them deeply. I know a number who married such women. I see these pairings more than I see ones with fairer-skinned, angled featured, thin black women.
I don't see this where i live. And what is a hipster type white man? I'm not even familiar with men like that
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