Disqualifying Someone Based on Their Race is Racism (dating, Christian, women)

[nyanna]

Originally Posted by calipoppy

Please calm down....

What you are not understanding is that people often have a physical "type" or traits that they prefer or are attracted to. They do not necessarily end up with someone who fits the definition of their "type." Its like a man saying that he likes women with long legs ending up married to a petite woman. Or a woman who likes tall, dark and handsome who ends up married to an averaged height guy with fair hair and fair skin.

It really means very little when men say that they prefer White or Hispanic women because they may end up with someone who does not fit that description at all. So could we please stop being offended by those types of comments.

It means a lot to me. I certainly would not want to be with a man who does not consider me his preference. I don't want a guy to have to settle for me

[Johnny Cash]

Originally Posted by nyanna

It means a lot to me. I certainly would not want to be with a man who does not consider me his preference. I don't want a guy to have to settle for me

even happily married guys THINK/fantasize about other females occasionally. You need to read some books about evolutionary psychology.

[DavieJ89]

Nyanna, my AA ex have a very beautiful personality and I didn't consider it 'settling' when I was with her

I'm surprised that my 1 comment about not finding african american women attractive is generated so much fire, if I meet any woman regardless of race if I like their personality (along with other.desirable non physical traits) I would be willing to date them. nah I don't get me wrong their has to be at least some physical attraction and even with my preferences I have met beautiful women of all races ethnicities and colors

the woman I am currently seeing is african american and italian, just to prove my point just thought I'd let you know.

my comment about african american women was in no way meant to be offensive, and by the way 2 of my best friends are african-american guys and they don't find african american women attractive either

but I apologize if anybody was offended by my comments they were not meant to be taken in that context

[Apotheosis2012]

how does "i do not find aa women attractive, but if i meet one and love her personality and fall in love with who she is" (what daviej89 is saying) differ from women saying................

"i am not attracted to short men, but if i fall in love with one, i fall in love with one.............. i will make an exception"

"or i am not attracted to fat men but if i meet and fall in love with one i will make an exception.............................."

just because it is race doesn't make it any different. we all like what we like but there is an exception to every rule

[Waterlily Pad]

Enough with this stereotypical use of the word 'racism'.

Every time it's used as a blanket ammunition to accuse someone of unjust preference, it only shows how careless the user of this word is.

In the context of this thread, using that thought process:
- people who only date pretty people are "beauty-ists"
- people who only go for rich ones are "money-ists"
- people who have issues with certain physical or mental features are "particular-ists"
- etc. etc. etc.

Under no circumstances do the public uproar as fiercely as they do when they encounter these "-ism"s. Because these are socially acceptable, and that taboo word isn't.

Race is just race. As long as we treat each other in a civil, polite manner, not harboring any ill will, we are free to like and dislike anyone - race being a part of the consideration or not.

The dirtiest word in my book is the "race" in the phrase of "rat race."

[Sweet Like Sugar]

Originally Posted by DavieJ89

my comment about african american women was in no way meant to be offensive, and by the way 2 of my best friends are african-american guys and they don't find african american women attractive either

What is your point? I think we're all aware that some black men don't find black women attractive and vice versa.

[nimchimpsky]

Originally Posted by nyanna

It means a lot to me. I certainly would not want to be with a man who does not consider me his preference. I don't want a guy to have to settle for me

I sincerely believe that we all have these ideas of “our type” but when it comes down to it, we just fall for whoever we fall for. We can analyze and categorize people, but in the end love is blind. For example, I generally find myself attracted to Black women and mixed women, but my most recent girlfriend is white. Was I any less attracted to her? No. In the beginning I was a bit surprised that I was attracted to a white woman, but I didn’t stop myself, and I really, genuinely, felt attracted to her. She was also the first wheelchair user I ever dated, and only the second one I had ever found attractive. I really did find her beautiful, though, in personality and looks. I wasn't just "settling" for her. Our mind might have all these ideas about who we find attractive, but in the end it’s our heart that calls the shots.

A man might tell you that he generally doesn’t date Black women, but that doesn’t necessarily mean he doesn’t truly find you attractive. He might not be "settling for you". And if it's something someone expresses to you, then I would commend him for being open-minded enough with himself and you to let himself "break out of his comfort zone", so to speak.

[beenhereandthere]

I think, that it, very well could be racism. I am not going to automatically say it is, but, considering the way my life has been, a mini rainbow with races, etc, I can't relate to people who say that I'm not a racist but I don't date x race.

[DavieJ89]

Originally Posted by beenhereandthere

I think, that it, very well could be racism. I am not going to automatically say it is, but, considering the way my life has been, a mini rainbow with races, etc, I can't relate to people who say that I'm not a racist but I don't date x race.

Im willing to date women of any race if I like them enough

[robertpolyglot]

I'm just wasting bandwidth. This stupid thread is going to make it to 1,000 posts.