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You have no obligation to force yourself to be attracted to what you genuinely aren't. Try to tell her that you're interested in other women. The "just friends" gig doesn't usually work because it's not true, and the "I'm not attracted to YOU" is hurtful, but if she knows from you that you're "into other women" - and you don't need to specify which women, by name, height, age, weight, race, career, etc. - then she'll fade away in time. Just remember to also specify: "I'm not interested in any relationship with you." It's important that an attracted woman knows exactly these words so that she doesn't feel led on in any way and knows clearly that you have no intention to accept her pursuits with you in any way, shape, form, or fashion. It sounds harsh now, but the simple truth is much better than some bull**** about being friends or keeping this charade going because you don't want to seem like a jerk. It saves a lot of heartbreak, time and energy in the long run this way.
Well, the only reason I mentioned in my post about just staying friends is because he said she ALREADY was a friend. It seemed like he liked her well enough as a friend. But maybe not.
Well, the only reason I mentioned in my post about just staying friends is because he said she ALREADY was a friend. It seemed like he liked her well enough as a friend. But maybe not.
Men and women can't be friends because this sort of crap always happens.
You have no obligation to force yourself to be attracted to what you genuinely aren't. Try to tell her that you're interested in other women. The "just friends" gig doesn't usually work because it's not true, and the "I'm not attracted to YOU" is hurtful, but if she knows from you that you're "into other women" - and you don't need to specify which women, by name, height, age, weight, race, career, etc. - then she'll fade away in time. Just remember to also specify: "I'm not interested in any relationship with you." It's important that an attracted woman knows exactly these words so that she doesn't feel led on in any way and knows clearly that you have no intention to accept her pursuits with you in any way, shape, form, or fashion. It sounds harsh now, but the simple truth is much better than some bull**** about being friends or keeping this charade going because you don't want to seem like a jerk. It saves a lot of heartbreak, time and energy in the long run this way.
That's stupid.
They were friends before, why can't they be friends now. Why is it a charade?
Whether or not they stay friends is HER decision, not his. It doesn't matter to him, he doesn't have any feelings for her.
If he cuts her off as a friend because it's 'weird' for him, that's conceited and douchy in my book.
Men and women can't be friends because this sort of crap always happens.
Yeah..i think if both parties do not find the other attractive, its easier.
As far as the OP situation, I agree with Joboba that it will be up to the woman if the friendship survives this rejection. Usually, it takes a cooling off period. Maybe down the line once she gets over it they could be friends...If she takes it hard.
Just tell her you're not down with the chubby chasing......
j/k
Don't tell her it's because she's fat/heavy, just give her some nonsense about being friends, you know, the usual crap people tell each other and both know that is BS.
Just text back and say, "Thank you. I am truly flattered. I didn't know you feel that way. But unfortunately, I cannot reciprocate your feelings at the moment. I have grown to like you tremendously as a friend, and I wish we can stay friends for a long long time."
Threw in the "at the moment" bit because you said that her weight is the only issue that you cannot overlook. Who knows, maybe she will be fit one day and you might be open to dating her then.
When you are young you say yes to anyone that says yes..when you get older you pick carefully and choose..I am older and know a woman that is very interested in me..When I was younger...I would go for it...better to choose than be chosen...better to be with who you truly want to be with...may as well start young and go for quality.....Besides...getting involved with people you do not truly like..just ends up a mess...it's not worth it...reject and don't feel bad about it...just be kind and graceful about it.
Why the heck would you even consider telling her that you are not interested in her due to her weight? Be POLITE dude! Just tell her that you like her as a friend.
When you are young you say yes to anyone that says yes..when you get older you pick carefully and choose..I am older and know a woman that is very interested in me..When I was younger...I would go for it...better to choose than be chosen...better to be with who you truly want to be with...may as well start young and go for quality.....Besides...getting involved with people you do not truly like..just ends up a mess...it's not worth it...reject and don't feel bad about it...just be kind and graceful about it.
Oh I forgot...I rejected the woman..I see her and she always has this nasty look now...of resentment....I keep the conversation light...it's more about pride..."what....I am not good enough?"----not about good enough...it is about what is right...some are not right for you..Just tell the person that it would not be the right thing to do...they MIGHT understand.
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