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This might be a little long but I wanna give my point of view so you can see where Im at. I moved to Dallas from Boston for a police job and didnt know anyone in the area so it was kinda tough. At first I was hanging out in a area thats considered kinda yuppie so most of the girls I was dating were kinda turned off when they found out I didnt have a college degree. It was frustrating at first so I tried online dating. After a couple of fails I met this this girl (shes 26 Im 30) very pretty, knows what she wants so I thought I found a good one. We did the typical couple of dates, went to the movies, out to dinner, she came to my place I went to hers. We seem to click pretty well. So we have been dating for 2 months but the problem is theres been nothing physical yet. I dont mean sex but we havent really even made out yet I mean Ive tried but we'll kiss a little bit and she'll pull back. I kinda took this as she wasnt really sure yet so I asked her and she said she just hasnt been in a relationship in a while and can be guarded at times. I dont mind waiting but at the same time I wanna see if we click physically as well. What I didnt want to happen is we date 6 months get physical and dont click and I end up hurting her because she is a nice girl. So my question is how do I bring this up to her with out looking like a jerk or looking like Im just trying to get laid. Should I be patient and just see what happens. At the same time I dont wanna waste her time or mine. So let me know what you think.....
Are the two of you exclusive? Have you had that conversation, could be the reason shes guarded. How do you know sex before marriage is part of her plan, it doesn't sound like you know much about her at all.
Are the two of you exclusive? Have you had that conversation, could be the reason shes guarded. How do you know sex before marriage is part of her plan, it doesn't sound like you know much about her at all.
We havent talked about being exclusive. Like I said we havent really even kissed that much.We have basically just been hanging out going on dates she said Im the type of guy she wants to date thats why I was kinda confused. I havent even thought about sex before marriage thing good idea I might ask her about that. Thanks
Are you paying for everything? If you've been dating for 2months and she isn't wanting to kiss or be physical I'd move along. It doesn't take that long for sparks to pop so it sounds like she may be using you or just wants to be friends. I'm wondering if she's using you for free meals, movies, etc. though. Maybe even dating someone else. Woman, especially here in Dallas where they are outnumbered, get hit on a lot. There is no shortage of single men for woman in this city. Some of the "sweetest" or genuine girls I've met here turn out to be players, users, etc. Don't fall for that Texas hospitality. There are a plethora of people here who are very much the smile at you and pretend to be your friend while hating your guts types. You will get worked if you are naive. I have a friend I met through the hospitality business here from Boston. Daily complaints about how "fake" girls and guys are here in the dating scene compared to Boston.
Boston women are no better, but I cant imagine dating a girl for 2 months and not at least making out with her at the very least. Have you tried to put a move on her at the end of dates?
This might be a little long but I wanna give my point of view so you can see where Im at. I moved to Dallas from Boston for a police job and didnt know anyone in the area so it was kinda tough. At first I was hanging out in a area thats considered kinda yuppie so most of the girls I was dating were kinda turned off when they found out I didnt have a college degree. It was frustrating at first so I tried online dating. After a couple of fails I met this this girl (shes 26 Im 30) very pretty, knows what she wants so I thought I found a good one. We did the typical couple of dates, went to the movies, out to dinner, she came to my place I went to hers. We seem to click pretty well. So we have been dating for 2 months but the problem is theres been nothing physical yet. I dont mean sex but we havent really even made out yet I mean Ive tried but we'll kiss a little bit and she'll pull back. I kinda took this as she wasnt really sure yet so I asked her and she said she just hasnt been in a relationship in a while and can be guarded at times. I dont mind waiting but at the same time I wanna see if we click physically as well. What I didnt want to happen is we date 6 months get physical and dont click and I end up hurting her because she is a nice girl. So my question is how do I bring this up to her with out looking like a jerk or looking like Im just trying to get laid. Should I be patient and just see what happens. At the same time I dont wanna waste her time or mine. So let me know what you think.....
My guess is there is no chemistry on her part. By now you all should be at least close to having sex.
It appears she could be having mental issues as well. I know I would not want to deal with that.
I'd cut my losses and drop her, but maybe after a serious, direct, and honest conversation with her on this issue.
We havent talked about being exclusive. Like I said we havent really even kissed that much.We have basically just been hanging out going on dates she said Im the type of guy she wants to date thats why I was kinda confused. I havent even thought about sex before marriage thing good idea I might ask her about that. Thanks
Thats a problem if you're not communicating. Until being exclusives brought into the picture, the relationship is open and the two of you are free to date and have an intimate relationship with others.
Do you know much about her dating history, recent bad break ups, someone she could still be hung up on?
OP: you've been very patient. Anyone one who says you're not is being unreasonable. I, personally, would not have waited two months for a measly kiss. I would have thought something was wrong if we didn't kiss on the second date--maybe the third. It looks like you might be the one who's going to get hurt. Like Ankhharu said, I think this woman is about to put you in the "friend zone." It's better you find out now than in 6 months. You need a "status of the relationship" talk. She may not be physically attracted to you but feels you're the type of man she should be dating because you have a professional career. She may be trying to force herself to want to be with you because of this. Do you know what kind of men she's dated in the past? If she's dated unemployed bad boys with no careers that may confirm my theory. Don't ever listen to what women say, watch how they act or have acted in the past as measure of what they want in a man.
Here's what I would do: I would start seeing other women but still hang out with this one on the side just as a hedge in case she's just shy and really wants to be with you. You're not in an exclusive relationship so you're free to play the field to increase your chances. You shouldn't be spending a lot of time with her and getting nothing in return. This woman shouldn't be acting as if there's no competition for you. Good luck.
Here's what I would do: I would start seeing other women but still hang out with this one on the side just as a hedge in case she's just shy and really wants to be with you. You're not in an exclusive relationship so you're free to play the field to increase your chances. You shouldn't be spending a lot of time with her and getting nothing in return. This woman shouldn't be acting as if there's no competition for you. Good luck.
It looks like You shouldn't be spending a lot of time with her and getting nothing in return. This woman shouldn't be acting as if there's no competition for you. Good luck.
I agree hes been patient, its a good quality.
The highlighted is where I have an issue.
He is getting something in return.... her company and the process of getting to know her.
Thats how you determine if an exclusive relationship is something you want with the other person.
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