U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 04-03-2012, 12:03 AM
 
Location: Vancouver, BC
547 posts, read 1,304,941 times
Reputation: 506

Advertisements

I'm 21 and I've never had a girlfriend before. I don't usually have a problem with this because a lot of my close friends are either single or in mediocre relationships. I've dated a few girls last year but I didn't have any real feelings for them so I didn't go into relationships with any of them.

However, I'm worried that by not having a girlfriend I'd be "missing out" on certain life experiences (I'm still a virgin) that I should be having around my age.

Also, I don't see myself getting a girlfriend in the future because it's just so damn hard to find someone I can like. Usually, I have a very hot and cold reaction to girls. Either I'm not interested in them at all or I just have an insane crush on them and wanting to be their boyfriend right away. However, I've only met four or five girls like that in my entire life (they've all rejected me).

I've tried online dating but I could only find a few girls attractive but their personalities don't match with mine.

So my questions are:

1. Should I be worried right now if I haven't had a girlfriend?

2. How do girls feel about dating a guy who's never had a girfriend or any other relationships?

3. Are my standards too high? How is it that so many people are successful at dating / relationships while I can barely find girls I like?

4. Will dating get easier in my late 20s (more people interested in relationships and etc.)?

Thanks!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 04-03-2012, 12:13 AM
 
2,096 posts, read 2,747,932 times
Reputation: 2240
You don't need to be worried but you don't sound very enthusiastic. I would think you would want to be having sex and putting some effort into that. Ask somebody out-you don't need to be the worlds perfect couple to have a good time dating. Also if you get some experience you won't be so obsessed with them right off and scare them away with your neediness.
GL
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-03-2012, 12:46 AM
 
Location: Chicago
3,456 posts, read 5,317,128 times
Reputation: 2324
Go to bars or parties.
Trust me. I never party. But the few times I've gone (I was kind of forced to go since I don't like parties at all) I enjoyed it and I mingled. If I would have found the right girl I would of hit that ****.

If all else fails buy a prostitute.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-03-2012, 12:51 AM
 
Location: Bronx
13,177 posts, read 15,551,874 times
Reputation: 6725
if she asks you about past relationships just lie, it helps me out. Im in my late twenties and dating someone or finding someone is hard, you really need to find chemistry or what things you have in common with a woman.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-03-2012, 02:05 AM
 
Location: Cincinnati, Ohio
688 posts, read 681,140 times
Reputation: 749
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bronxguyanese View Post
if she asks you about past relationships just lie, it helps me out. Im in my late twenties and dating someone or finding someone is hard, you really need to find chemistry or what things you have in common with a woman.
That's always a great way to start..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-03-2012, 07:17 AM
 
Location: Whereever we have our RV parked
7,696 posts, read 6,195,379 times
Reputation: 12665
I dated quite a few women that were just nice. It wasn't like I would only date them if I thought they were "the one". Just ask out nice people and go out and keep it fun. You sound like such a mercenery. "I'm just dating you to get experience until I meet someone I really like?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-03-2012, 08:45 AM
 
Location: NY
8,763 posts, read 12,827,385 times
Reputation: 10782
Quote:
Originally Posted by Malkiel View Post
So my questions are:

1. Should I be worried right now if I haven't had a girlfriend?
No, not at all. Anytime is a great time to have a first girlfriend. Not everyone is ready to jump into dating in their teens.

Quote:
2. How do girls feel about dating a guy who's never had a girfriend or any other relationships?
Depends on the woman. Some might not be as accepting, others are not going to be judgemental. Don't sweat this however. It should not be a deterrant for you.

Quote:
3. Are my standards too high? How is it that so many people are successful at dating / relationships while I can barely find girls I like?
I don't know what your likes or expectations are. So difficult to answer. There is no perfect woman, but there may be someone perfect for you despite their flaws. I guess the key is to find women who you initially like, and then date them to discover just how compatable you are.

Quote:
4. Will dating get easier in my late 20s (more people interested in relationships and etc.)?
Dating is never "easy" per se. However, I think you may be making it more difficult than it is.

Don't try to find the "perfect soul mate" before dating someone. There is no way to know that. Also, don't necessarily dismiss a woman because it is not "love at first sight" You just want to hang out at places where you meet women, and when you find some you find interesting, or share something in common with, start asking them out.

Then on the dates, you find out more about them, they about you, and see if any chemistry is there or builds.


Oh, and I think dating, or at least dating with greater success, is something that can get easier. It is about knowingyourself very well, what you need in someone, what you can accept as far as shortcomings and what you cannot, etc.



Point is, just date people you find some interest in. You are bound to eventually meet your soul mate!

(I didn't meet mine until age 31, three years later, she is my loving wife!)
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-03-2012, 08:48 AM
 
28,906 posts, read 42,454,950 times
Reputation: 45543
Sure. Why not?

Hey, the women in your life might not bowl you over. But they might be the path to the one who does.

I went on a blind date with a girl. My sister had thought this woman would be perfect for me, but there was zero chemistry. However, over lunch we had a funny conversation even though we both knew that there were no sparks. We parted amicably.

A few weeks later, she invited me to this party she was throwing. Met my wife there. So you never know.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-03-2012, 09:34 AM
 
6,009 posts, read 9,607,859 times
Reputation: 5558
Quote:
Originally Posted by Malkiel View Post
I'm 21 and I've never had a girlfriend before. I don't usually have a problem with this because a lot of my close friends are either single or in mediocre relationships. I've dated a few girls last year but I didn't have any real feelings for them so I didn't go into relationships with any of them.

However, I'm worried that by not having a girlfriend I'd be "missing out" on certain life experiences (I'm still a virgin) that I should be having around my age.

Also, I don't see myself getting a girlfriend in the future because it's just so damn hard to find someone I can like. Usually, I have a very hot and cold reaction to girls. Either I'm not interested in them at all or I just have an insane crush on them and wanting to be their boyfriend right away. However, I've only met four or five girls like that in my entire life (they've all rejected me).

I've tried online dating but I could only find a few girls attractive but their personalities don't match with mine.

So my questions are:

1. Should I be worried right now if I haven't had a girlfriend?

2. How do girls feel about dating a guy who's never had a girfriend or any other relationships?

3. Are my standards too high? How is it that so many people are successful at dating / relationships while I can barely find girls I like?

4. Will dating get easier in my late 20s (more people interested in relationships and etc.)?

Thanks!
I would try it yea.

You don't have to be smitten with her but you have to like SOMETHING about her. You never know what will develop once you get to know here better. Maybe nothing, maybe love.

You're still so young and probably idealistic. The women who you mention who you are crazy for ... I wouldn't chase or look for that per se. It's been the same in my life. Mostly every woman who I've been all nutty for have rejected me, and the last one ... it wasn't even close.

That feeling is mostly lust, not love...
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-03-2012, 09:43 AM
 
12,308 posts, read 14,597,461 times
Reputation: 9431
You can have sex with a girl you don't really like just to say you did it but that doesn't mean your life and overall dating experience is going to change after that.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2017, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 - Top