Why do people always talk about their relationship problems to their friends? (movies, girlfriends)

[West of Encino]

I believe if a couple is having issues, they should address them in private and not go to their friends and cry about it. But still, the majority of people do the obvious although men do it lesser than.

Usually when talking about their relationship problems to friends, they're basically talking bad about their significant other and her friends then see the husband as the bad guy. They do it in hopes of others could sympathize with them, feel sorry for them, and look down on the other partner.

Now before you people jump to conclusions and assumptions, no it hasn't happened to me. But everywhere I go, I see certain people cry about their relationship issues. Some would even go far to talking about them on national television.

[cpg35223]

Who else would you talk to? A bunch of half-witted strangers on an Internet message board?

Oh, wait...

[Dewdroplet76]

I think my girlfriends and I would talk about our relationship problems much more before we actually found the right person. I think that sometimes when you are with the wrong person - you are unhappy a lot of the time although you might not realize it. Also - in a good relationship - you work out your problems with your partner. In a bad one - you don't so you might turn to your friends instead. Now that most of us are married - we seldom talk about any problems that we have - unless it's something big and we need a bit of advice or a hug.

[Doll Eyes]

I don't know that's what women like to sit around and do a lot. I was never like this. I noticed at the hair salon last weekend they all did this too, sex details and all, was pretty uncomfortable. The stuff they were sharing really didn't belong in the hair shop, when we're there to get our hair, nails done. It's very strange to be putting your buisness out there like that....

[Katnan]

Originally Posted by West of Encino

I believe if a couple is having issues, they should address them in private and not go to their friends and cry about it. But still, the majority of people do the obvious although men do it lesser than.

Usually when talking about their relationship problems to friends, they're basically talking bad about their significant other and her friends then see the husband as the bad guy. They do it in hopes of others could sympathize with them, feel sorry for them, and look down on the other partner.

Now before you people jump to conclusions and assumptions, no it hasn't happened to me. But everywhere I go, I see certain people cry about their relationship issues. Some would even go far to talking about them on national television.

Actually, that isn't the case at all. Mature people know that are always going to be issues in relationships and issues don't make someone "bad", and mature people aren't looking for pity, or looking for support to gang up on their partner.

Talking to a friend gives you a different perspective, and often, an outsider's perspective is what's needed because you don't always see things clearly when you're the one involved with the issue.

[Miss Crabcakes]

I think tis normal. That's what friends are suppose to be for, to be able to discuss issues and things going on in your life. I will say though that it doesn't mean you want sympathy or to bad mouth your partner. Sometimes it helps to get a different persepctive from someone outside of the relationship that can speak on it logically.

I've found talking to friends about any problems has usualy been helpful and I can do it without making my hubby sound bad. We all do it. My friend come to me too. We help each other.

That's why we're friends.

[intelfan11315]

For me, when it turns into me having to talk about my relationship problems with a friend it means the relationship is probably over and I'm losing my mind from her.

[Thetruthhurtz]

They talk to thier friends for those exact reasons: To induce sympathy, and expect people to turn on thier significant other.

The problem with this is: it's always the same reaction.

Nobody takes the time to actually deal with the issue. They expect you to pick a side, and listen to them. They aren't there for your opinion, they are there to vetn thier frustrations. I've many times told friends to put up or shut up. It's obviously not as bad as you make it seem to be, because you keep going back for more. It doesn't upset you enough to leave, so why do I have to hear you incesently rag on him/her. People like this are drama, and if I needed that in my life, I'd watch soap operas.

You could also link the issue to television and entertainment: most TV shows, movies, songs, and various other forms of media portray this as a good thing. Some even as a healthy thing. It's not. It's very self destructive. They convince thier friends that thier significant other is a bad person; in turn thier friends convince them they are in a bad relationship; you end a relationship based on what others think, than what you think. This highschool mentality needs to be lit on fire and left in the dumpster.

[FrmlyBklyn]

Problem with talking to friends, is most of them are cut from the same cloth - same values, beliefs, thoughts.
I bet most relationship problems could be worked out if both parties spoke with each other and put some effort into it.
Many people want the fast way out, so they commiserate and ask the advice of outsiders who don't have a freaking clue about what really happens behind those doors, only know what the one-sided picture shows.

[Broncos Quarterback]

I think you should discuss issues with your partner first, but that doesn't mean there's something wrong with discussing them with your friends afterwards. You just need to do it in a way that is still respectful to your partner. Friends are there to listen and offer their perspective.