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Hi... I am single and I really like a guy at my workplace, but he has a girlfriend. We have always had an attraction since I started there nearly a year ago, I could tell. We went on a work do and we ended up talking, kissing and heavy petting on his part, but we didn't sleep together. We both felt a little guilty because of his girlfriend and put it down to alcohol.
I really like this guy, but I know that he is out of bounds so I accept that. The thing I am finding hard to deal with is that one of my married colleagues fancies him too and flirts with him and is always looking at him. I told him she fancied him and I asked him about it, whether he likes her and his answer was that she didn't appeal to him at all. He made a big thing about me asking, saying he was dumbfounded that I thought he fancied her, but I didn't quite believe him still. I went on about it and It spoilt the friendship and attraction between us and he went off me... which is probably for the best seeing as I am at work and he has a girlfriend.
Today I saw him look back at this woman (like he used to do with me) and it hurt I must admit. He seemed to be keeping out of my view when he looked, but I was watching him because I wanted to know if he'd been lying to me about her.
I know that I have to concentrate on my work! But I want to know how to deal with the pain and jealousy of him not liking me anymore and seeing him now looking at someone else, someone he was so adamant that he didn't like. I keep watching them... I think I'm going mad. My work isn't that interesting so it's not hard to get distracted. There are no other departments to move to. Any advice..... I feel like I'm getting obsessed with it all... It sounds pathetic I think, but I guess when you really like someone it's hard to be normal
So you sexually harassed someone in a relationship and brought drama to the workplace. What part of any of that seemed like a good idea at the time? Why would you care what some coworker does with themselves? Why would you think a guy that flirts with other women while in a relationship is desirable at all? Why do you think you can flirt with a taken man but he can't do the same to your friend? Here is a solution: when you are at work act professional and not like you are at a bar trying to bait a date.
Hi... I am single and I really like a guy at my workplace, but he has a girlfriend. We have always had an attraction since I started there nearly a year ago, I could tell. We went on a work do and we ended up talking, kissing and heavy petting on his part, but we didn't sleep together. We both felt a little guilty because of his girlfriend and put it down to alcohol.
I really like this guy, but I know that he is out of bounds so I accept that. The thing I am finding hard to deal with is that one of my married colleagues fancies him too and flirts with him and is always looking at him. I told him she fancied him and I asked him about it, whether he likes her and his answer was that she didn't appeal to him at all. He made a big thing about me asking, saying he was dumbfounded that I thought he fancied her, but I didn't quite believe him still. I went on about it and It spoilt the friendship and attraction between us and he went off me... which is probably for the best seeing as I am at work and he has a girlfriend.
Today I saw him look back at this woman (like he used to do with me) and it hurt I must admit. He seemed to be keeping out of my view when he looked, but I was watching him because I wanted to know if he'd been lying to me about her.
I know that I have to concentrate on my work! But I want to know how to deal with the pain and jealousy of him not liking me anymore and seeing him now looking at someone else, someone he was so adamant that he didn't like. I keep watching them... I think I'm going mad. My work isn't that interesting so it's not hard to get distracted. There are no other departments to move to. Any advice..... I feel like I'm getting obsessed with it all... It sounds pathetic I think, but I guess when you really like someone it's hard to be normal
You can't. There's nothing you can do.
Been there. Am there.
You just have to stay away from him as much as possible and it's going to take time, maybe a lot.
Hi... I am single and I really like a guy at my workplace, but he has a girlfriend. We have always had an attraction since I started there nearly a year ago, I could tell. We went on a work do and we ended up talking, kissing and heavy petting on his part, but we didn't sleep together. We both felt a little guilty because of his girlfriend and put it down to alcohol.
I really like this guy, but I know that he is out of bounds so I accept that. The thing I am finding hard to deal with is that one of my married colleagues fancies him too and flirts with him and is always looking at him. I told him she fancied him and I asked him about it, whether he likes her and his answer was that she didn't appeal to him at all. He made a big thing about me asking, saying he was dumbfounded that I thought he fancied her, but I didn't quite believe him still. I went on about it and It spoilt the friendship and attraction between us and he went off me... which is probably for the best seeing as I am at work and he has a girlfriend.
Today I saw him look back at this woman (like he used to do with me) and it hurt I must admit. He seemed to be keeping out of my view when he looked, but I was watching him because I wanted to know if he'd been lying to me about her.
I know that I have to concentrate on my work! But I want to know how to deal with the pain and jealousy of him not liking me anymore and seeing him now looking at someone else, someone he was so adamant that he didn't like. I keep watching them... I think I'm going mad. My work isn't that interesting so it's not hard to get distracted. There are no other departments to move to. Any advice..... I feel like I'm getting obsessed with it all... It sounds pathetic I think, but I guess when you really like someone it's hard to be normal
...wow, where do I start with this. One, starting a relationship with a co-worker is about the same as driving towards a cliff. It rarely, if ever, ends well; the workplace is a big no-no in terms of dating. Secondly, he has a girlfriend, you knew this, and yet you kissed and touched him in a sensual way. It doesn't matter if you slept with him or not, he still cheated on her with you, and you did it fully aware of the fact that he had a girlfriend.
This guy sounds like an attention ***** and you sound like a bad Lifetime movie. No wonder you two seemed to go well together at the time. This would have never happened if you would have just acknowledged to not only not get involved with a coworker but also one that is taken to boot. Get over it, acknowledge that you getting hurt was your fault and yours alone and focus on your work knowing that you need this job to survive. Trust me, I have been attracted to taken women before, but I respected the fact that they were taken and never tried anything. You would do well to do the same.
Hi... I am single and I really like a guy at my workplace, but he has a girlfriend. We have always had an attraction since I started there nearly a year ago, I could tell. We went on a work do and we ended up talking, kissing and heavy petting on his part, but we didn't sleep together. We both felt a little guilty because of his girlfriend and put it down to alcohol.
I really like this guy, but I know that he is out of bounds so I accept that. The thing I am finding hard to deal with is that one of my married colleagues fancies him too and flirts with him and is always looking at him. I told him she fancied him and I asked him about it, whether he likes her and his answer was that she didn't appeal to him at all. He made a big thing about me asking, saying he was dumbfounded that I thought he fancied her, but I didn't quite believe him still. I went on about it and It spoilt the friendship and attraction between us and he went off me... which is probably for the best seeing as I am at work and he has a girlfriend.
Today I saw him look back at this woman (like he used to do with me) and it hurt I must admit. He seemed to be keeping out of my view when he looked, but I was watching him because I wanted to know if he'd been lying to me about her.
I know that I have to concentrate on my work! But I want to know how to deal with the pain and jealousy of him not liking me anymore and seeing him now looking at someone else, someone he was so adamant that he didn't like. I keep watching them... I think I'm going mad. My work isn't that interesting so it's not hard to get distracted. There are no other departments to move to. Any advice..... I feel like I'm getting obsessed with it all... It sounds pathetic I think, but I guess when you really like someone it's hard to be normal
I agree with posters who said: find someone and then it will be easier, and also you can't get over it, it will take time
try listening to audio books in headphones (find some at the library and check them out), maybe it will take your mind off of it
...wow, where do I start with this. One, starting a relationship with a co-worker is about the same as driving towards a cliff. It rarely, if ever, ends well; the workplace is a big no-no in terms of dating. Secondly, he has a girlfriend, you knew this, and yet you kissed and touched him in a sensual way. It doesn't matter if you slept with him or not, he still cheated on her with you, and you did it fully aware of the fact that he had a girlfriend.
This guy sounds like an attention ***** and you sound like a bad Lifetime movie. No wonder you two seemed to go well together at the time. This would have never happened if you would have just acknowledged to not only not get involved with a coworker but also one that is taken to boot. Get over it, acknowledge that you getting hurt was your fault and yours alone and focus on your work knowing that you need this job to survive. Trust me, I have been attracted to taken women before, but I respected the fact that they were taken and never tried anything. You would do well to do the same.
Good post. Realize also that he is a douche for cheating on his girlfriend. You are a douche too for doing it with him, but he is more of a douche.
Why would you want to be with him? He'd just do the same to you.
The lesser that you hold someone in regard, the quicker you will be over him/her.
You stop being jealous by valuing yourself more. More self-worth, more self-respect, more self-esteem.
You need to be able to see yourself as a worthy person, and that a man would see you as a person worthy of his resource (time, effort, money).
That man, co-worker of yours has questionable values pertaining to his idea of girlfriend / relationship to even break his personal boundary to the point of petting, and adhere to the excuse of alcohol?
Moreover, you have to question yourself as to why you would want a man who would fool around with you who is currently in a relationship? Don't you think you deserve more for yourself? You should, but in this case, you settled for less.
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