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Alot has changed for me in the last 5 weeks. I have got over the grief of losing my friend. It was a painfully traumatic experience, but in my own way I finally found peace and finality with it, it was actually very spiritual.
My Math class has become much better overnight, I'm passing it now. It looks like I'm staying here for college. But thankfully the college I'm going to is in a partnership with ASU, so I'll be taking all physical classes. School couldn't have been better for me.
There is just one last sore spot that I just want to heal. My friend's cousin. You see I had a crush on her as early as August 2010, but in October 2010 she stood behind me and interrupted a conversation I was having with two other guys, she was trying to get my attention. I'm near certain I was one of the only people she talked to in the class (she's very introverted). She happened to approach me at the same timeframe that my parents and I would fight into the night over college. She gave me this adorable doe-eyes look, and we gazed into each others eyes for nearly a minute. It hurt knowing I didn't want to drag her into my situation, so we only shared and caught glances for the rest of the semester.
I saw her again at a crosswalk some months later, talking to a man who said something to her that saddened her, she walked through the crosswalk and I waved at her. When she saw me her eyes widened and she flashed me this cute upper-bite smile at me before turning her head down and lowering her eyelids while still keeping her gray-green eyes trained on me.
Then, I went through all the bad times of July 2011-Jan. 2012. Admittedly, I missed her alot. She moved back to Phoenix.
Then at my friend's funeral, I saw her again. And once again she was completely wrecked, head turned down, I said hello to her. But the thing is, she perked her head up and looked in my direction. When she saw me her eyes widened, she showed that big toothy upper bite smile of hers again. We shared a smiling gaze that lasted a good 10 seconds as she and her mother walked away. She looked so happy to see me, she then looked to her bottom-right (kinesthetic), back towards the ground, still smiling with teeth as she walked away.
When that happened, it made my heart jump, for a brief moment I didn't hurt. But then it started to hurt very badly. I tried contacting her on facebook, she only said one thing. I tried again and again to talk to her in the last 2 months, she never responded, all she did was change her profile picture. How could she like me (I think), but not talk to me, even after all this? I'm very confused.
So what do y'all think? Did she like me and did I hurt her somehow? Did she find someone else? What did I do wrong? She showed up during a bad time in my life, she meant so much to me.
Anybody? I'm so close to finally achieving something I have fought so hard for, nearly got thrown out of the house over, nearly lost while tending to my grandmother, only for a little tinge of loss to be along with it. And the loss was of the little hope spot of a girl that kept me going.
she probably thinks people who use the term 'upper bite smile" are weird and i would have to agree-unless of course you are in Dental school- then she might be interested.
she probably thinks people who use the term 'upper bite smile" are weird and i would have to agree-unless of course you are in Dental school- then she might be interested.
LOL! Actually this is the first time I've ever said "upper bite smile", just to give an impression of what smile it was.
She smiled at me, at one point using the "bedroom eyes". How about that?
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