Where are the Asian men and Black women couples? (mother-in-law, husband, older)

[Torn2pieces]

Originally Posted by HappyinNY

When people start calling someone stupid, I wonder what insecurities they have.

I respect your comment on your experiences, but learn to be open-minded and see from the other side of things. Your views are somewhat narrow minded on your experiences.

I'd say they are rude and obnoxious -

I was once happy in NY myself....

[songinthewind7]

Originally Posted by foma

Oriental is a type of rug.

Not all Asians are oriental.

Oriental was used in a derrogative sense during the 1800s.

It is a politically incorrect word to use to describe Asians.

Some of us are so sick of those being politically correct.
If all races would call themselves what they are and stop changing what they want to be called every few years, it would be a lot less confusing.
My stepson has a Chinese friend and he calls himself a Chinese. He also calls himself a ***** to be funny because he has a sense of humor.
I'm from Irish heritage but I call myself white and American. Personally, does it really matter what people call me? Who cares? I'm not going to whine about it and tell them that they're not using the politically correct word.

[Tish Thompson]

Originally Posted by foma

Goodness, did someone just refer to Asians as ORIENTALS?

I was going to pretend I didn't see that. I cringe everytime I hear that word.

[Northwoods Voyager]

People may be Asian, rugs, artifacts can be Oriental. So I was told by an antique dealer when I was in San Diego. As far as any ethnic group desiring to marry only those of the same background, I see nothing wrong. The same if they don't. I believe it is up to the individuals to make that choice. Never thought of this prior to reading this thread.

[dullnboring]

Originally Posted by songinthewind7

Some of us are so sick of those being politically correct.
If all races would call themselves what they are and stop changing what they want to be called every few years, it would be a lot less confusing.
My stepson has a Chinese friend and he calls himself a Chinese. He also calls himself a ***** to be funny because he has a sense of humor.
I'm from Irish heritage but I call myself white and American. Personally, does it really matter what people call me? Who cares? I'm not going to whine about it and tell them that they're not using the politically correct word.

If someone is overweight, they would probably not like to be called "fatty" even if it may be an apt description. Why? Because the word hurts their feelings. As such, few people go around saying such things. If someone is born with the name Horace, but chooses to go by their middle name of David because they dislike their first name, people will respect their wishes and refer to them as such. This is no different. I don't understand why so many white people all of a sudden fold their arms into a stubborn stance when told by someone non-white that they'd rather be called something else, as if the act of being politically correct is some sort of arduous chore for them. In reality, in this instance at least, it's just showing general respect and courtesy to another human being.

[dullnboring]

Originally Posted by HappyinNY

I don't know too many Asian men and black couples but there is quite a lot of Asian women and black couples. We even see it in the media.

1. Tiger Woods (mother is Asian and father is African American)

Professional golfer, worth like a billion dollar already with pension the last I heard. Maybe we need more of this combination. He (Tiger Woods) is engaged to a girl from Sweden (I think)....

2. Hines Ward (mother is Asian and father is African American)

Professional NFL player, MVP award.


These are two well know people in the news. There are more of course that I can't think of.

Some other famous Blasians:

Model Tyson Beckford (1/4 Chinese, 1/4 Panamanian, 1/2 Black Jamaican)



Model and annoying social plague Naomi Campbell (1/4 Chinese, 3/4 Black Jamaican)



Crazy rapper Foxy Brown (1/2 Chinese, 1/2 Black Trinidadian)



R&B Singer Amerie (1/2 Korean, 1/2 Black)



R&B singer Ne-Yo (1/4 Chinese, 1/4 Puerto Rican, 1/2 Black)



Model and R&B singer Cassie (1/2 Filipino, 1/4 Black, 1/4 Mexican)



Musician Apl.de.ap from the Black Eyed Peas (1/2 Filipino, 1/2 Black)



Former Model and current businesswoman, reality star and socialite Kimora Lee Simmons (1/4 Korean, 1/4 Japanese, 1/2 Black)



Japanese pop singer Crystal Kay (1/2 Korean, 1/2 Black)

[songinthewind7]

Originally Posted by dullnboring

If someone is overweight, they would probably not like to be called "fatty" even if it may be an apt description. Why? Because the word hurts their feelings. As such, few people go around saying such things. If someone is born with the name Horace, but chooses to go by their middle name of David because they dislike their first name, people will respect their wishes and refer to them as such. This is no different. I don't understand why so many white people all of a sudden fold their arms into a stubborn stance when told by someone non-white that they'd rather be called something else, as if the act of being politically correct is some sort of arduous chore for them. In reality, in this instance at least, it's just showing general respect and courtesy to another human being.

What I'm saying is that is someone is overweight for instance, being called overweight, plus size or fatty. It's all the same thing and means the same thing to the person. No matter how much you sugar coat something, it is all the same.
I am all for calling someone whatever they want to be called but when it changes every few years, it get hard to keep up with what people want to be called. It's so much easier to refer to someone as white, black, brown, pink or whatever than calling someone by another name that has popped up in there heads.
For example, I live around Mexicans. Some choose to be called Mexicans. Some want to be called Latinos. Some want to be called Hispanic and the list goes on and on. 30 or so years ago, they were Chicanos. Now, apparently, someone has made that word derogatory.
Blacks want to be called African-American. In the past, it has been people of color, afro americans, or negros. The term African-Amercian to me is silly. You're either from Africa or you're from America. Can't be both. One can be American with an African Heritage; just like I'm American with and Irish heritage.
It gets confusing. I go by what a person wants to be called individually and do not group people together.
So in reality, like you said, it all comes down to respect and courtesy on what the person wants to be referrred to as.
My original comment was to make up ones mind and when someone else refers to you as a name you don't like, correct them but don't make an issue of it.

[dullnboring]

Originally Posted by songinthewind7

What I'm saying is that is someone is overweight for instance, being called overweight, plus size or fatty. It's all the same thing and means the same thing to the person. No matter how much you sugar coat something, it is all the same.

I agree that they mean the same thing from a definition standpoint but I disagree that they would mean the same thing to the person that they were referring to. Words carry emotion. Try calling someone "plump". Then try "large". Then "overweight". Then call them a "tub of lard". All mean the same thing, but will elicit different reactions.

I am all for calling someone whatever they want to be called but when it changes every few years, it get hard to keep up with what people want to be called. It's so much easier to refer to someone as white, black, brown, pink or whatever than calling someone by another name that has popped up in there heads.
For example, I live around Mexicans. Some choose to be called Mexicans. Some want to be called Latinos. Some want to be called Hispanic and the list goes on and on. 30 or so years ago, they were Chicanos. Now, apparently, someone has made that word derogatory.
Blacks want to be called African-American. In the past, it has been people of color, afro americans, or negros. The term African-Amercian to me is silly. You're either from Africa or you're from America. Can't be both. One can be American with an African Heritage; just like I'm American with and Irish heritage.

I guess I just don't see what is so confusing about this. Things change over time. Words die. Talkies, commode, etc. These ethnic terms have changed maybe a whopping three or four times over the past century. I just don't see it as being difficult to keep up with. Some names were "given" to certain groups by the racist white establishment of the time, and in an effort to start anew, many times these terms were now denounced by the group due to the feelings they brought up. I don't see why white people have such a hard time grasping that and understanding that maybe these groups want to come up with a self-identifying term on their own terms. I just don't think people have any business deciding what a separate group of people should or should not be called. If they want to be called one thing, who are we to tell them "no"?

For the record though, as far as Latino vs. Hispanic vs. Mexican vs. Chicano, Mexican is a nationality. All Mexicans are Latinos but not all Latinos are Mexican. Latinos can be Costa Rican, Dominican, Chilean, etc.; all very different cultures. It would be like someone referring to an American as a Canadian or an Australian and not expecting to be corrected by the American. The term "Hispanic" is a loose association largely drawn up by the U.S. government to link all the Spanish-speaking people together. Some "Hispanics" resented the term and created the term Latino, which excludes those people from Spain, as they felt it more honored their Latin American roots which oftentimes are mixed with indigenous and African ancestry, as opposed to Hispanic which they felt was very Eurocentric. I personally have never encountered someone offended by the terms Latino or Hispanic and use the two interchangeably, although there is allegedly a geographic disparity where Latino is a more popular term out West than in the East. Latino is in general a safe term.

It gets confusing. I go by what a person wants to be called individually and do not group people together.
So in reality, like you said, it all comes down to respect and courtesy on what the person wants to be referrred to as.

I agree with you. Individuals have different levels of sensitivity and education. I have a Vietnamese friend who calls himself a certain Vietnamese-specific slur. He's not remotely sensitive to racial issues. When I was in college, I became good friends with the people in my study group, a group of seven people which included one black guy. One day we decided to come up with nicknames for one another. He told us to refer to him as "Token" from now on. Within the confines of the relationship those of us within the group had established, that was an acceptable term, but for an outsider to refer to him as such, it would've been seen differently by both him and those of us on the inner circle so to speak. It's something that you can gauge on a case by case basis, especially when you get to know an individual more on a personal level, but I do feel that in terms of talking about groups as a whole, or in talking about someone you don't know, people can afford to "play it safe". In other words, just because someone has an irreverent, edgy and button-pushing black friend who refers to himself as the N-word and permits his buddies to as well, does not mean that it suddenly makes it okay for him to refer to all black people as such.

My original comment was to make up ones mind and when someone else refers to you as a name you don't like, correct them but don't make an issue of it.

I really don't think most minorities make an issue out of it, unless the term is extremely offensive (like the N-word). I think if anything, it tends to be white people who make an issue out of it and minorities tend to be more than patient enough in explaining themselves and why certain things are offensive. A lot of white people seem to give off this vibe that it is just such a chore to actually refer to someone by a non-offensive term. I think that the term "politically correct" has been so vilified that whenever any minority dares to bring up anything in regards to racial sensitivity, they are immediately treated with an eyeroll, and a "get over it" mentality by some white people who think it is PC run amok, even if white person was being extremely ignorant and the non-white person was very respectful and basic in their request. In this very thread, foma just simply stated that the term "Oriental" is incorrect in reference to people, and that's all she said on the matter. I don't think she was making an issue out of it but was simply imparting knowledge. A lot of people simply don't realize the nuances of the word. She didn't go out of her way and call those who used it racist or blow her top. She just stated that the term is basically archaic and that many people do find it offensive.

[songinthewind7]

Originally Posted by dullnboring

I agree that they mean the same thing from a definition standpoint but I disagree that they would mean the same thing to the person that they were referring to. Words carry emotion. Try calling someone "plump". Then try "large". Then "overweight". Then call them a "tub of lard". All mean the same thing, but will elicit different reactions.

I guess I just don't see what is so confusing about this. Things change over time. Words die. Talkies, commode, etc. These ethnic terms have changed maybe a whopping three or four times over the past century. I just don't see it as being difficult to keep up with. Some names were "given" to certain groups by the racist white establishment of the time, and in an effort to start anew, many times these terms were now denounced by the group due to the feelings they brought up. I don't see why white people have such a hard time grasping that and understanding that maybe these groups want to come up with a self-identifying term on their own terms. I just don't think people have any business deciding what a separate group of people should or should not be called. If they want to be called one thing, who are we to tell them "no"?

For the record though, as far as Latino vs. Hispanic vs. Mexican vs. Chicano, Mexican is a nationality. All Mexicans are Latinos but not all Latinos are Mexican. Latinos can be Costa Rican, Dominican, Chilean, etc.; all very different cultures. It would be like someone referring to an American as a Canadian or an Australian and not expecting to be corrected by the American. The term "Hispanic" is a loose association largely drawn up by the U.S. government to link all the Spanish-speaking people together. Some "Hispanics" resented the term and created the term Latino, which excludes those people from Spain, as they felt it more honored their Latin American roots which oftentimes are mixed with indigenous and African ancestry, as opposed to Hispanic which they felt was very Eurocentric. I personally have never encountered someone offended by the terms Latino or Hispanic and use the two interchangeably, although there is allegedly a geographic disparity where Latino is a more popular term out West than in the East. Latino is in general a safe term.

I agree with you. Individuals have different levels of sensitivity and education. I have a Vietnamese friend who calls himself a certain Vietnamese-specific slur. He's not remotely sensitive to racial issues. When I was in college, I became good friends with the people in my study group, a group of seven people which included one black guy. One day we decided to come up with nicknames for one another. He told us to refer to him as "Token" from now on. Within the confines of the relationship those of us within the group had established, that was an acceptable term, but for an outsider to refer to him as such, it would've been seen differently by both him and those of us on the inner circle so to speak. It's something that you can gauge on a case by case basis, especially when you get to know an individual more on a personal level, but I do feel that in terms of talking about groups as a whole, or in talking about someone you don't know, people can afford to "play it safe". In other words, just because someone has an irreverent, edgy and button-pushing black friend who refers to himself as the N-word and permits his buddies to as well, does not mean that it suddenly makes it okay for him to refer to all black people as such.

I really don't think most minorities make an issue out of it, lest the term is extremely offensive (like the N-word). I think if anything, it tends to be white people who make an issue out of it. A lot of white people seem to give off this vibe that it is just such a chore to actually refer to someone by a non-offensive term. I think that the term "politically correct" has been so vilified that whenever any minority dares to bring up anything in regards to racial sensitivity, they are immediately treated with an eyeroll, and a "get over it" mentality by some white people who think it is PC run amok, even if white person was being extremely ignorant and the non-white person was very respectful and basic in their request. In this very thread, foma just simply stated that the term is offensive and that's all she said on the matter. I don't think she was making an issue out of it but was simply imparting knowledge. She didn't go out of her way and call those who used it racist or blow her top. She just stated that the term is basically archaic and that many people do find it offensive.

As far as what Foma said about how she takes offense to it, I respect those feelings; but I don't know until I'm told. I didn't know Oriental was such a bad word until I read this thread. But what is bad to her, may not be bad to somebody else.
I can take offense to being called white but how stupid is that? Personally, I'd rather not be labeled.
When I lived in Ohio, there were a lot of different ethnic groups, races, etc.. We all had names for each other and everybody knew what they were and accepted it. I was called a mic because of my Irish heritage. Nobody took offense to anything.
I moved to Tennessee and that's a different story.
I think it depends on age and what part of the country or world a person lives in. The middle aged to older seem to be less politically correct whereas the younger tend to be more politically correct and get there feelings hurt easily.
I'll call someone anything they want to be called but they need to tell me what they want to be called and not get upset when called something they don't want to be called.

[dullnboring]

Originally Posted by songinthewind7

As far as what Foma said about how she takes offense to it, I respect those feelings; but I don't know until I'm told. I didn't know Oriental was such a bad word until I read this thread. But what is bad to her, may not be bad to somebody else.

No argument here, but the term Oriental is generally regarded as an incorrect (at best) and offensive (at worst) term when referring to people. A lot of people don't realize this, but maybe a few more after reading this thread now do.

I can take offense to being called white but how stupid is that?Personally, I'd rather not be labeled.

Hey, it's not for me to judge. If I knew you personally and your name was John but you asked to be referred to as Lulu the Space Monster from here on out, I would dutifully oblige. It may sound silly and make no sort of sense to me, but it's not my place to decide what you get to call yourself.

When I lived in Ohio, there were a lot of different ethnic groups, races, etc.. We all had names for each other and everybody knew what they were and accepted it. I was called a mic because of my Irish heritage. Nobody took offense to anything.
I moved to Tennessee and that's a different story.
I think it depends on age and what part of the country or world a person lives in. The middle aged to older seem to be less politically correct whereas the younger tend to be more politically correct and get there feelings hurt easily.

It all depends on the context, environment and the individual. Within your community, your family and friends and neighborhood, you established at an early age that ethnic slurs meant no harm and could be tossed around freely without anyone taking offense. If that worked for everyone, then so be it. However, if you were to go to the St. Patrick's Day Parade in New York and start calling everyone mics, you wouldn't get such a rosy reception to say the least.

I'll call someone anything they want to be called but they need to tell me what they want to be called and not get upset when called something they don't want to be called.

Unless a person repeatedly refers to them as something they have been explicity asked not to out of stubborn dogmatism.