U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 1.5 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Jump to a detailed profile or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Business Search - 14 Million verified businesses
Search for:  near: 
Closed Thread Start New Thread
 
Old 10-05-2007, 07:58 AM
 
44 posts, read 128,956 times
Reputation: 30

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sooner_Nation_60 View Post
I'd hate to know that I needed to pay someone to tell me how to "do it" properly! Imagine lunch with friends: "Yesterday I had a GREAT session with my sex therapist! He taught me where my erogenous zones were and it only cost $250.00!! Here's his card. You absolutely have to try this guy!"

...for it to be a woman-not a guy and have your health insurance pay for it (get it ).

I know of an older couple whose husband couldn't so the wife arranged visits to her doctor to do just that!

 
Old 11-15-2007, 04:29 PM
 
1 posts, read 24,129 times
Reputation: 18
Default surrogates

Quote:
Originally Posted by npumcrisz View Post
A sex surrogate is a member of a sex therapy team who engages in intimate physical or sexual relations with a client in order to achieve a therapeutic goal.

Isn't this just a scholar's manner to say legal prostitute!!

Therapeutic goal .... you're right.
Surrogates perform a valuable service, and people shouldn't think off them
as just a way off getting sex. My husband complained that I was not giving him the type off sex and enough sex that he wanted. I consulted my Doctor
and after a complete physical he sent me to a male surrogate. I have been going for over a year, and now our sex life couldn't be better, and I have learned to be multi orgasmic. My husband is so happy, and is not the least bit jealous, and encourages me to keep making appointments.
Off course I have sex with the surrogate, but there is always somebody
from his office observing so it makes me feel very comfortable with the sessions. I can go as often as I like, but usually every three week's for
a three hour session.
Gomba.
 
Old 11-16-2007, 01:19 PM
 
Location: California
9,653 posts, read 10,814,228 times
Reputation: 10819
Quote:
Originally Posted by HobokenGuy View Post
How do I apply for this job?
Believe me, you don't want that job, I'm always exhausted
 
Old 11-17-2007, 12:19 PM
 
Location: Canada
109 posts, read 308,260 times
Reputation: 56
Default Ha-hem.

Quote:
Originally Posted by npumcrisz View Post
A sex surrogate is a member of a sex therapy team who engages in intimate physical or sexual relations with a client in order to achieve a therapeutic goal.

Isn't this just a scholar's manner to say legal prostitute!!

Therapeutic goal .... you're right.

Then I am a sex surrogate (just without the official title and the scholarship that goes with it)... it is therapeutic
 
Old 11-17-2007, 03:56 PM
 
2,031 posts, read 4,319,389 times
Reputation: 1262
I am in disbelief that this is actually a real service. I had to look it up because I thought people were full of BS. How can this be legal? How is it legal to pay for sex through as sex surrogate and it not fall under the legal definition of prostitution? Just because a doctor prescribes it?
 
Old 06-27-2008, 11:42 AM
 
6 posts, read 74,595 times
Reputation: 32
Default Clarification from a Surrogate Partner

I came upon this thread recently, and wanted to correct some misconceptions I see here.

I am a surrogate partner (in this thread referred to as a "sex surrogate"), and have been trained as a surrogate partner through the International Professional Surrogates Association (IPSA). I think the best way to start out is to clearly define what a surrogate partner is.

Suppose an individual decides to seek help for some matter in their life that's not working for them. Suppose this issue is sexual in nature. They may seek the help of a licensed sex therapist or a certified sex educator. The therapist will use talk therapy and other psychological techniques to explore the problem. However, in some cases, the client must go beyond talk therapy.

When learning how to drive, reading books or listening to people describe how to do it can only take you so far. Inevitably you have to sit down in the vehicle and put the theory into practice. You have to experience what happens when you press on the brake panel.

Similarly, therapists have found that the therapeutic process is often reinforced by an opportunity for the client to apply, experience, or practice the situations or concepts they have been exploring through therapy. The therapists themselves are generally prohibited by law or by their code of ethics from having direct physical contact with the client, so in this case the therapist will refer the client to a surrogate partner. The therapist, client, and surrogate partner design experiential exercises that remove anxiety and build skills and self-awareness in the areas the client wishes to enhance. The surrogate partner participates with the client in these exercises. The surrogate partner and the client form a temporary relationship for the sake of reaching the client's therapeutic goals.

The exercises may include issues around trust, body image, touch, relaxation, communication, nudity, intimacy, social skills, or sexuality. Since one or more of these areas had been a source of difficulty for the client, time is spent building trust, because this provides the framework for the client to face challenges that previously had been a source of anxiety. The vast majority (85% - 90%) of the time spent is non-sexual in nature, and some clients are never sexual with their surrogate. The potential for sexual contact exists, if it is therapeutically indicated in order for the client to reach their goals.

Hopefully, with this background the difference between a surrogate partner and a prostitute will be obvious. You might think of seeing a prostitute as like going to a restaurant, while working with the surrogate partner is like going to cooking school. One gives you immediate gratification, while the other is a more long-term process of developing skills. Once you develop confidence with these skills, you will then have gifts that you can enjoy on your own or share with others.

I'd now like to address some specific comments/questions I see on this thread.

<<Is this covered under most insurance plans?>>

Surrogate partner therapy is generally not covered by insurance plans. The cost of seeing a sex therapist and a surrogate partner can amount to quite an investment.

<<How is it legal to pay for sex through a sex surrogate?>>

The client is not paying for sex. The client is paying for therapy, that in some situations occasionally may involve sexual contact, if it is agreed by the surrogate, client and therapist that it is important for the therapy. If someone's objective is to get sex (or to pay for sex), there are far easier and less expensive ways to accomplish this than seeing a therapist and surrogate partner!

In any case, since there is no licensing or regulation of surrogate partners, the International Professionals Surrogates Association (IPSA) has assumed the responsibility of assuring the therapeutic community and the public that IPSA members have received adequate training, achieved professional competency, and adhere to the highest standards of ethical practice. See Surrogate Therapy IPSA--International Professional Surrogates Assocation for more information. When I agreed, as a member of IPSA, to follow the IPSA code of ethics, I agreed to only see clients under the supervision of a licensed/certified sex therapist or educator.

I'll be happy to answer any other questions I see here regarding surrogate partner therapy. I'll try to remember to check back from time to time.
 
Old 06-27-2008, 07:28 PM
 
779 posts, read 1,801,140 times
Reputation: 325
Quote:
Originally Posted by creatingsafety View Post
I came upon this thread recently, and wanted to correct some misconceptions I see here.

I am a surrogate partner (in this thread referred to as a "sex surrogate"), and have been trained as a surrogate partner through the International Professional Surrogates Association (IPSA). I think the best way to start out is to clearly define what a surrogate partner is.

Suppose an individual decides to seek help for some matter in their life that's not working for them. Suppose this issue is sexual in nature. They may seek the help of a licensed sex therapist or a certified sex educator. The therapist will use talk therapy and other psychological techniques to explore the problem. However, in some cases, the client must go beyond talk therapy.

When learning how to drive, reading books or listening to people describe how to do it can only take you so far. Inevitably you have to sit down in the vehicle and put the theory into practice. You have to experience what happens when you press on the brake panel.

Similarly, therapists have found that the therapeutic process is often reinforced by an opportunity for the client to apply, experience, or practice the situations or concepts they have been exploring through therapy. The therapists themselves are generally prohibited by law or by their code of ethics from having direct physical contact with the client, so in this case the therapist will refer the client to a surrogate partner. The therapist, client, and surrogate partner design experiential exercises that remove anxiety and build skills and self-awareness in the areas the client wishes to enhance. The surrogate partner participates with the client in these exercises. The surrogate partner and the client form a temporary relationship for the sake of reaching the client's therapeutic goals.

The exercises may include issues around trust, body image, touch, relaxation, communication, nudity, intimacy, social skills, or sexuality. Since one or more of these areas had been a source of difficulty for the client, time is spent building trust, because this provides the framework for the client to face challenges that previously had been a source of anxiety. The vast majority (85% - 90%) of the time spent is non-sexual in nature, and some clients are never sexual with their surrogate. The potential for sexual contact exists, if it is therapeutically indicated in order for the client to reach their goals.

Hopefully, with this background the difference between a surrogate partner and a prostitute will be obvious. You might think of seeing a prostitute as like going to a restaurant, while working with the surrogate partner is like going to cooking school. One gives you immediate gratification, while the other is a more long-term process of developing skills. Once you develop confidence with these skills, you will then have gifts that you can enjoy on your own or share with others.

I'd now like to address some specific comments/questions I see on this thread.

<<Is this covered under most insurance plans?>>

Surrogate partner therapy is generally not covered by insurance plans. The cost of seeing a sex therapist and a surrogate partner can amount to quite an investment.

<<How is it legal to pay for sex through a sex surrogate?>>

The client is not paying for sex. The client is paying for therapy, that in some situations occasionally may involve sexual contact, if it is agreed by the surrogate, client and therapist that it is important for the therapy. If someone's objective is to get sex (or to pay for sex), there are far easier and less expensive ways to accomplish this than seeing a therapist and surrogate partner!

In any case, since there is no licensing or regulation of surrogate partners, the International Professionals Surrogates Association (IPSA) has assumed the responsibility of assuring the therapeutic community and the public that IPSA members have received adequate training, achieved professional competency, and adhere to the highest standards of ethical practice. See Surrogate Therapy IPSA--International Professional Surrogates Assocation for more information. When I agreed, as a member of IPSA, to follow the IPSA code of ethics, I agreed to only see clients under the supervision of a licensed/certified sex therapist or educator.

I'll be happy to answer any other questions I see here regarding surrogate partner therapy. I'll try to remember to check back from time to time.
Why did you join this profession? In the UK prostitutes have a legal organization to educate the community about their profession. Hence I have every reason but stand to be corrected that surrogate theraphy is just another term of prostitution. They are all sex workers, one which you need training/ certification the other with the same skills of which you don't need certification.

There are good drivers who don't use driver license but they know the consequences of been caught. In order words surrogate therapies are just licensed drivers while prostitutes are unlicensed drivers.
 
Old 08-26-2008, 07:09 PM
 
6 posts, read 74,595 times
Reputation: 32
Default Re: Clarification from a surrogate partner

<<Why did you join this profession?>>

Would you like the short version or the long version? I have a feeling you're asking for the short version, so I'll keep it brief. If you want the long version, feel free to ask.

Because I'm non-critical and able to see good in people, I have always been the type of person that others feel safe around. I have the ability to be present and really listen and support people even when they're sharing something they're uncomfortable with. I find that it's very rewarding to hold the space for someone to explore feelings and activities that had previously been a source of fear and anxiety. I have been pursuing personal growth through relationships since I've been old enough to have them. Being a surrogate partner is an ideal expression of my interests and my talents.

<<Hence I have every reason but stand to be corrected that surrogate therapy is just another term of prostitution. >>

Let me give an analogy to illustrate what I think has happened here.

Imagine that I were a chef. I might explain the different menu options at my restaurant. "You can start out either with the ceviche, made with tender red snapper, onions, and lemon juice, or the Caesar salad, with our homemade dressing and fresh croutons sautéed in olive oil. We then serve a cheese plate, featuring Emmental, Gruyère, and their raw milk goat cheddar created by goat herders in northern Scotland. Our specialty is the filet mignon, marinated in red wine, and served with seasonal vegetables and eggplant risotto. We recommend you follow this with the tiramisu and a glass of an Italian Chianti. And some people, about 10% of the time, will also order a pastry."

After saying all that, the response I hear is "Oh, I get it! You're a pastry chef! You prepare pastries."

Why is it that as soon as I mentioned pastries, you seem to forget everything else I've said? I think it says something about our culture that we get so fixated on pastries. This fixation, or stigmatization, is possibly why there's such a need for healing around this subject.

Do you see the analogy?
 
Old 08-26-2008, 07:57 PM
 
536 posts, read 697,396 times
Reputation: 565
i need therapy really really bad
 
Old 08-26-2008, 08:49 PM
 
3,490 posts, read 5,121,610 times
Reputation: 3858
I don't have a second's issue with it, and do not see it to be the same as prostitution.
Some people have real issues with sex which can hold them back in their lives. Sometimes a pro is needed to help with issues, why not this particular issue.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Closed Thread

Over $84,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2014, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25 - Top