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I've been single for a long time, even though I've had many opportunities in the past to change my status.
I'm happy about being single when I'm feeling good, but I'm 51 and my health is going downhill, and I wish I had children but now I feel like it's too late. Put all that together and the bottom line is that I regret having made the choices I made. I can think of at least 5 ex-girlfriends with whom I could have been happy, but I sabotaged those relationships and now I feel as though I sabotaged my entire life. We didn't evolve to be isolated. We need community, not necessarily a nuclear family, but at least we need to have a close circle of friends and family with whom we are intimate and able to share our darkest fears, deepest feelings, and natural dependencies.
Humans are social organisms. Anyone who pretends otherwise is setting themselves up for a fall.
I've been single for a long time, even though I've had many opportunities in the past to change my status.
I'm happy about being single when I'm feeling good, but I'm 51 and my health is going downhill, and I wish I had children but now I feel like it's too late. Put all that together and the bottom line is that I regret having made the choices I made. I can think of at least 5 ex-girlfriends with whom I could have been happy, but I sabotaged those relationships and now I feel as though I sabotaged my entire life. We didn't evolve to be isolated. We need community, not necessarily a nuclear family, but at least we need to have a close circle of friends and family with whom we are intimate and able to share our darkest fears, deepest feelings, and natural dependencies.
Humans are social organisms. Anyone who pretends otherwise is setting themselves up for a fall.
awww, heres a hug...I feel bad reading your reply...I'm sorry you have regrets....I have several friends which I can share the deepest part of myself with....I enjoyed being married....but...I don't enjoy in the least, that shock, that betrayal, the denial, the feeling of failure...when I was cheated on....and punched in the stomach....or had his hands around my neck....
or was told I wasn't allowed to go away for the weekend with the girls, or if I went to the movies...he acted like I took away his car privledges or something....and I know most men are not like that....
but I do know, my life now, is peace and quiet...and I love it....and share my darkest deepest fears for City Data Forum, LOL...
oh, and as for children, they are a precious gift...a great responsiblity, we sort of grow up with them, but we do make mistakes, some little, some very big....and when they grow up and go out on their own, well, simply said, that is what Tums was invented for...so, yanno, we humans, are social organisms...but count me in, only to a certain point....after that, I'd much rather be on my own...I never seemed to be able to live up to the expectations of others....and always remember, the grass always looks greener....
I've had both worlds, and I'm very happy when I hear about those marriages that are not only successful, but very happy....me...I've not been that lucky, and I would never want to hurt any man the way I've been hurt...therefore, I don't even allow a man near me anymore, other then to be friends...platonically....
Happily single. I'm in no hurry to have a SO. There's a big difference between being alone and being lonely. By alone I mean without a SO. I have plenty of friends and family members to spend time with.
I've been single for a long time, even though I've had many opportunities in the past to change my status.
I'm happy about being single when I'm feeling good, but I'm 51 and my health is going downhill, and I wish I had children but now I feel like it's too late. Put all that together and the bottom line is that I regret having made the choices I made. I can think of at least 5 ex-girlfriends with whom I could have been happy, but I sabotaged those relationships and now I feel as though I sabotaged my entire life. We didn't evolve to be isolated. We need community, not necessarily a nuclear family, but at least we need to have a close circle of friends and family with whom we are intimate and able to share our darkest fears, deepest feelings, and natural dependencies.
Humans are social organisms. Anyone who pretends otherwise is setting themselves up for a fall.
Have you noticed when you are single, lots of people, especially as you get older, seems to pressure you into getting into a relationship? Why can't they(usually married folks) not leave the single person alone? Do they think singles are not happy in life if not in a relationship? Or is there another motive?
My single friends tell me how their parents/relatives are constantly "harrassing" them into finding someone. The pressure seems to be definitely there in our society.
Have you noticed when you are single, lots of people, especially as you get older, seems to pressure you into getting into a relationship? Why can't they(usually married folks) not leave the single person alone? Do they think singles are not happy in life if not in a relationship? Or is there another motive?
My single friends tell me how their parents/relatives are constantly "harrassing" them into finding someone. The pressure seems to be definitely there in our society.
I think my married friends want me to be as miserable as they are...lol...half kidding there.
Personally, I don't find that my married friends are quite as annoying on the subject as they were say 10 years ago.
That and not to mention quite a few have sadly been divorced since that time.
My friends & family respect my choices as I do theirs. It's not an issue.
Marriage is certainly not for everyone and I certainly don't need to be married to be happy.
Most of my single friends are happier than my married friends to begin with...so if that's any indication.
A lot of my friends have a significant other or are married.
I am single and have been for a while.
I enjoy the single life cause I have all the freedom in the whole to do as I please without anyone thinking of anyone else. I travel a lot, I go to the casino if I want, I can look without worry and have no disagreement with no one. What a life???
However, there are days I sometimes wish I was not single. There are times I go to a party or event and I happen to be the only one who is single or you sitting drinking coffee and you see a couple kissing each other. You wonder if being a couple would be much more fun.
Another thing I noticed is how society views you if you are single. I gotten comments such as "Why don't know have a girlfriend" or "Do you have a wife."
Who honestly enjoys the single life?
not at first. took me a long time to accept it. after that started to enjoy. i think i actually enjoy it some now.
i think i enjoy art stuff a lot more now and have gotten comfortable with myself. the "we" thing is somewhat of an illusion isn't it? if it were not, the bubble would not be constantly being popped. but the single bubble does not get popped. the longer you do single the more real it seems. not so for the couple illusion. i envy the kissing but not the breakup.
this country has lot of involuntary singles. so does my 2nd home
france. a changing age.
stephen s
san diego ca
I think you just summarized the entire issue with my life, twix.
Thanks for the cyber-hug, creme.
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I think you just summarized the entire issue with my life, twix. 
