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Old 04-08-2012, 04:51 PM
4,543 posts, read 5,930,151 times
Reputation: 5152


Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar View Post
This is another online dating rant. Everytime I go on POF, I get angry. I don't know if it's just my city (I'm on the East Coast), but there seems to be a very large number of undesirable, bottom of the barrel type men on that site, and they keep sending me messages! The main things I notice on dating profiles are:

1. Photos
2. Age
3. Education
4. Does he have kids?

All four of these things have to be acceptable otherwise I am not interested. I'm routinely contacted by men who didn't go to college AND they have kids. Either of those things alone wouldn't be ideal, but put them together and it's much worse. I just don't understand why these guys think I'd even be interested in them considering that I'm a college educated professional woman with no children. I'm attractive and in shape and definitely not desperate enough to date them. They have absolutely nothing to offer me and I really wish they would stop wasting my time with their stupid, grammatically incorrect messages! Seriously, I just can't deal with it. I know that POF is the most popular free site and occasionally, I'll be contacted by a decent guy which is why I'm reluctant to leave the site altogether, but the majority of these men truly make me sick. I understand that not everyone is intelligent/fortunate/responsible enough to get a college degree or to not have kids out of wedlock, but they need to just focus on women on their own level and leave me alone. It's really ticking me off that I have to immediately block like 98% of the men who contact me on that site. I'd write this up in my profile, but I know I would just sound bitter and end up turning off the men who I do want, and these idiots who I don't want would still keep contacting me anyway.

Sorry if this offends anyone, but I'm fed up and this is how I feel. Has anyone else experienced this issue with POF? I know the site automatically allows you to block messages from certain users based on age, distance, etc., but I would really love it if they added filters for education level and parental status as well.
I can understand having standards but something you have to understand is most men don't care about a woman's income and as far as looks go your not going to be that pretty, young, and tender specimen of womanhood forever.

Today your man with a Phd can still get laid off. A plumber can basically move to any state if things get slow in one area.

Old 04-08-2012, 04:56 PM
Location: In my skin
8,725 posts, read 13,524,921 times
Reputation: 8595
You're going to come across more sleaze on a free site. Just my observation. A lot of them don't read profiles and don't care what you're looking for. I know it can be frustrating. I say just scan and delete.
Old 04-08-2012, 04:59 PM
Location: On the corner of Grey Street
6,054 posts, read 7,701,815 times
Reputation: 11439
Why is everyone being so hard on the OP? I'm with you, OP. Dating is frustrating and most of the people who contact me don't meet my criteria...they are too old, have kids, can't spell, whatever...and yes spelling is important. Not everyone is an English major, but you have just a little bit of space to make an impression online. If you can't use spell check that says a lot to me about how much you care.

You should be able to have whatever criteria you want when looking for a partner. It doesn't make you a snob because you have standards. And online dating is such a crap shoot.
Old 04-08-2012, 05:03 PM
Location: Bellingham, WA
9,745 posts, read 13,310,472 times
Reputation: 14733
It's handy to know that since I didn't finish college I shouldn't bother contacting women who did. I'm just glad I've learned my place (bottom of the barrel) before I had a chance to make a fool of myself.
Old 04-08-2012, 05:19 PM
Location: New Jersey
8,738 posts, read 9,325,341 times
Reputation: 7488
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar View Post
True. I think having a bachelors degree is pretty basic. It's not that it's impressive, but more like a minimum educational requirement. So when I see that someone doesn't even meet this minimum educational requirement AND they have children AND they present themselves in an undesirable manner in both their photos and writing, why exactly would I ever be interested???

I'm not saying it's unimpressive. I worked hard for my degrees. I'm saying it's not something to go around bragging about b/c mostly anyone can obtain a college degree whether it's a BA, MA, JD, etc. IMO, a degree is never a bad thing to have under your belt. There are many people (especially older ones) who didn't go to college BUT have been in their jobs for 25, 35 years. Given the current state of the U.S. economy I think a lot of people who got big heads about their 'formal education' are starting to see how little it matters compared to multiple years of experience on a job. There are tons of people out of work with a bunch of degrees --- and no experience. I should know I was one of those people for years, LOL.

Again, I'm not harping on you for your choices b/c frankly, I was looking for the same things myself. I would not have been interested in anyone with very poor writing skills, etc. I would not want someone with children. I don't feel like I was asking for anything I didn't already possess. At the same time there's no need to put a person down for having children and not having a degree. Just don't date them. That was my overall point.
Old 04-08-2012, 05:19 PM
Location: Rutherfordton,NC
11,106 posts, read 7,592,188 times
Reputation: 8145
Originally Posted by KaffeGal View Post
If it doesn't work out, it just doesn't. That is life. Yes life is about taking chances, but my motto is better safe than sorry.

Then you should stay home and lock your door.
Old 04-08-2012, 05:27 PM
Location: Sugarland
12,565 posts, read 11,081,802 times
Reputation: 14092
Originally Posted by Doll Eyes View Post
At the same time there's no need to put a person down for having children and not having a degree. Just don't date them. That was my overall point.
I understand. I was just venting. One of these days, I will post something nice about someone, but I'm sure no one will read that thread.
Old 04-08-2012, 05:29 PM
Location: So Cal
37,909 posts, read 36,643,536 times
Reputation: 38500
OP, you think you're taking a beating here?

Try writing your original post, but changed it the be from a man's point of view.

You'd have your booty handed to you worse.

Old 04-08-2012, 05:32 PM
Location: New Jersey
8,738 posts, read 9,325,341 times
Reputation: 7488
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar View Post
I understand. I was just venting. One of these days, I will post something nice about someone, but I'm sure no one will read that thread.

LOL. I rarely post 'nice' things and people read my threads.
Old 04-08-2012, 05:48 PM
Location: The Island of Misfit Toys
2,767 posts, read 2,112,667 times
Reputation: 2333
I think there is more to this thread than being angry about people contacting you who are incompatible. The problem I have with it is that the OP does not just complain about incompatible people contacting you. It contains an unnecessary value judgement that is self flattering to the thread starter. The ulterior motive is pretty obvious here.
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