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Old 04-09-2012, 05:45 PM
 
Location: Sugarland
5,462 posts, read 3,700,599 times
Reputation: 4359

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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesthebass View Post
"Loser" is such a strong, hurtful word really. Taking into consideration that you're using it to label someone who is undesirable because they've made (what most people consider) mistakes in their life, it makes me wonder how many people think I'm a "loser" because of my relative lack of a social life (or in the OP's case, her own lack). When in fact, I'm actually a good-natured guy with plenty of positives. (as I'm sure the OP is as well)
Point taken. I know a lot of men automatically disqualify me based on looks alone over things that I have no control over and consider me to be at the "bottom of the barrel" as far as women go. No, it's not "nice" to refer to guys as "losers" when I don't even know them, but it's simply a judgment that I'm making based on things that I feel they DO have control over. I think we're all guilty of judging others in some way or another. No, that doesn't make it right, but I'm not the first to do it and I won't be the last.

 
Old 04-09-2012, 05:45 PM
 
351 posts, read 243,014 times
Reputation: 583
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar View Post
That sucks. I always think that if I got out more I'd have a better chance of meeting someone but apparently that's not always the case.
I enjoy the bar scene and am very sociable, but for my friends who are not it is very hard for them to meet people. A buddy of mine who is kinda quiet and isn't into the party/bar scene doesn't meet many women unless we (mostly me) set him up. He's tall, ripped, a great guy and makes a decent living, so he's easy to set up.

Since you are not into the bar scene, seems like you'd have friends that could try and set you up. I said 'seems like' because most people (especially women) are absolutely terrible at setting people up.

Still, I would think you have at least one close friend who knows you and knows what you like yes? You could always go the dangerous-but-good-if-navigated-correctly route of dating a coworker too.

You seem to take a practical approach to this, which makes sense since you are confident of what you want and don't want as well as what you have to offer. If one isn't into one avenue of dating (i.e. bar scene), then they emphasize another (i.e. online). Perhaps you should try yet another avenue (friends setting you up)?

Last edited by DrVanNostren; 04-09-2012 at 05:46 PM.. Reason: a
 
Old 04-09-2012, 05:45 PM
 
16,623 posts, read 14,353,196 times
Reputation: 11492
Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
I think this can be a mistake, too. Not everything is set in stone in those shopping lists.
i thought those were suggestions.
 
Old 04-09-2012, 05:46 PM
 
Location: USA
1,382 posts, read 1,029,955 times
Reputation: 2275
Quote:
Originally Posted by LS Jaun View Post
I bring that up to women I know all the time and usually they say "Thats not me". I'm like "Go out and enjoy, it's not like you have to go home with anybody".

From my side of the coin I love talking to women and even men who are solo at the bar. I would get bored to death if I didn't talk to people. I occsionally get the "Why is this man talking to me look", but usually I get the "Thank god someone is talking to me, cause I'm bored as hell" response. Of course it's a little easier for a man, but it doesn't have to be.
Yes it's easier for men. A single woman alone in a bar somehow sends the message she's there for a hook up. You have to beat the drunks off with a club.
 
Old 04-09-2012, 05:51 PM
 
Location: Southern Oregon
4,100 posts, read 3,200,076 times
Reputation: 5497
Default Men who bring NOTHING to the table...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar View Post
I just received three new messages on POF.

Guy 1- 31, no degree, has children, says he is looking for a relationship
Guy 2- 28, masters degree, no children, says he is looking for a relationship
Guy 3- 40, masters degree, no children, says he is looking for a relationship

Guy 3 wins this round!
Good luck with guy #3. At 40 years old he is smart enough not to stick around after the first few conversations. Remember what I said, your attitude is showing through and you probably aren't near as good a catch as you think you are.
 
Old 04-09-2012, 05:59 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,843 posts, read 54,814,416 times
Reputation: 22811
Quote:
Originally Posted by le roi View Post
i thought those were suggestions.
Well, I'd imagine some people do have some requirements set in stone and don't budge. It's kind of nice to have that willpower when you know you can't live with a certain thing. That's for the best. For instance, based on my own experience, some smoker-haters tend to forget they despise smokers when they like the picture. That doesn't lead to anything good down the line...
 
Old 04-09-2012, 06:01 PM
 
Location: Sugarland
5,462 posts, read 3,700,599 times
Reputation: 4359
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nite Ryder View Post
Remember what I said, your attitude is showing through and you probably aren't near as good a catch as you think you are.
I don't recall ever posting that I was the greatest catch ever and men should fall at my feet. I said that I finished college and don't have children, I'm looking for the same in a partner, and that I'm tired of weeding through a bunch of messages from guys who don't meet this criteria.
 
Old 04-09-2012, 06:12 PM
 
Location: Southern Oregon
4,100 posts, read 3,200,076 times
Reputation: 5497
Default Men who bring NOTHING to the table...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar View Post
I don't recall ever posting that I was the greatest catch ever and men should fall at my feet. I said that I finished college and don't have children, I'm looking for the same in a partner, and that I'm tired of weeding through a bunch of messages from guys who don't meet this criteria.
Ok, maybe I was a bit tough on you, but in your first post you came across to me like you think you are special and a cut above some of these men. College education is fine, but it is no guarantee you will make a lot of money in your lifetime unless you are also smart, lucky and willing to work hard. Doctors & lawyers maybe the exception. I resent a woman telling me that I'm not good enough because I don't have a college education. I've made over 200K a year before I retired, and that was enough. Money isn't everything, nor is a college educated woman.
 
Old 04-09-2012, 06:13 PM
 
Location: USA
9,880 posts, read 5,268,003 times
Reputation: 7386
Quote:
Originally Posted by Red On The Noodle View Post
Yes it's easier for men. A single woman alone in a bar somehow sends the message she's there for a hook up. You have to beat the drunks off with a club.
Haha, true! I do get the "come sit with me there's a drunk creep that is hitting on me and he's coming back from the bathroom any minute" routine. "I wonder if I'm the drunk creep at other times".
 
Old 04-09-2012, 06:14 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,843 posts, read 54,814,416 times
Reputation: 22811
Quote:
Originally Posted by LS Jaun View Post
Haha, true! I do get the "come sit with me there's a drunk creep that is hitting on me and he's coming back from the bathroom any minute" routine. "I wonder if I'm the drunk creep at other times".
Eh, sometimes you're the windshield; sometimes you're the bug...
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