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Old 04-09-2012, 05:43 PM
 
Location: North Carolina
766 posts, read 1,402,560 times
Reputation: 328

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Hello all,

I have been trying free dating sites for about a month. So far I really haven't had any luck. I am wondering if I should try a pay site. So, far I have only met one person in person.

I am really starting to wonder if it's me or them. Some guys just want to seem to text, never call. Some guys never initiate anything just keep talking on the dating site.

I'll give a few examples:

*The one person I met was nice just all wrong. I posted that on here.

*I had been texting a guy back and for about a week. We talked about meeting and he said he would call. The last text I got was almost a week ago and I never heard back from him. I did notice over the weekend that he was checking out my profile on another dating site.

*Another guy I was talking to on a dating site. I finally gave him my phone number and he starts telling me all this crazy stuff. I just stopped all communication and he's finally stopped calling and texting.

The second site I joined I keep getting guys contacting me out of the age range I set. I said between 30-42 and I got a 27 year old and a 48 year old. I have been getting some good ratings from some guys, but they never actually contact me. Or I get guys contacting me where it says "yal got issues" where we are clearly complete opposites.

Today I got a message from a guy who sounded decent until I read casual sex was one of the things he was looking for. Also, I noticed in the message he said his 2 year old lives with her mom since they separated. Not if he means ending relationship or still married.

Okay, I'll stop before I make this any longer than what it is. I appreciate any opinions, suggestions, etc.

Thanks
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Old 04-09-2012, 05:49 PM
 
Location: USA
1,809 posts, read 2,144,336 times
Reputation: 4045
In my area, the pay sight was no better then the free one. In fact the same people were often on both. The creepiest and scariest date I had was with someone on the pay site.
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Old 04-09-2012, 05:55 PM
 
Location: North Carolina
766 posts, read 1,402,560 times
Reputation: 328
LOL, wow really. That's awful. I thought maybe the quality of people were due to the websites being free.
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Old 04-09-2012, 06:11 PM
 
4,868 posts, read 7,136,303 times
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With the texting thing..ironically men on the free site didn't get as offended when I said I hate texting. On Match, they all threw a fit and said that was odd or just dropped me. weird. I also saw a lot of people I knew personally on the sites. On POF about 5 guys who I had met just out and about somewhere, emailed me as if they never met me before..it was weird. One was a guy that wouldn't leave a friend of mine alone for a long time, I guess he didn't remember me when he emailed me.

Like River on the Noodle, where I live the quality is no different, so it might just depend on where you live. I imagine in bigger cities, the pay sites are better. In medium to small towns, I don't think it makes a difference.
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Old 04-09-2012, 06:16 PM
 
Location: Emerald Coast, FL
5,217 posts, read 7,940,172 times
Reputation: 8412
I had to correspond (meaning several exchanges) with over 800 women to find 50 worth meeting, and 10 worth dating, even briefly. A few of those had real potential. I'm not sure what you expect, but it's not usually quick or easy to meet someone truyly compatible. Of course, it could be the very next person. For example, I was the very first person my wife contacted on a dating site. It's simply luck and a matter of numbers. Based on all my prior experience, I could see almost immediately that she was the right one for me.

I prefer the pay sites as there are fewer people just messing around or trying things out - when you pay, you generally want something real from it.
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Old 04-09-2012, 06:19 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,837 posts, read 77,184,499 times
Reputation: 22814
Quote:
Originally Posted by TaoistDude View Post
I had to correspond (meaning several exchanges) with over 800 women
Wow! I admire your determination and patience. I can't do that for the life of me anymore!
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Old 04-09-2012, 06:22 PM
 
Location: North Carolina
766 posts, read 1,402,560 times
Reputation: 328
I don't mine texting, but this solely texting thing is getting on my nerves. I just never seen to really know where to go from there. Do I just wait for a text, text them myself, call?

I texted a guy over the weekend. He's a little younger than I like and 2 hours away, other than that he's cool. He's attractive, interesting, etc. We texted for a long time Saturday and that was it. I haven't heard anything else. Should I text him or wait?
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Old 04-09-2012, 06:22 PM
 
4,868 posts, read 7,136,303 times
Reputation: 3134
Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
Wow! I admire your determination and patience. I can't do that for the life of me anymore!
I was about to say the same thing!! I think I've gone out with around 40 men in my entire life and I'm only 25 and I'm already exhausted!! I hope it doesn't take that many people to find one! lol
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Old 04-09-2012, 06:26 PM
 
4,868 posts, read 7,136,303 times
Reputation: 3134
Quote:
Originally Posted by caesarsgirl79 View Post
I don't mine texting, but this solely texting thing is getting on my nerves. I just never seen to really know where to go from there. Do I just wait for a text, text them myself, call?

I texted a guy over the weekend. He's a little younger than I like and 2 hours away, other than that he's cool. He's attractive, interesting, etc. We texted for a long time Saturday and that was it. I haven't heard anything else. Should I text him or wait?
ya I don't mind texting with a guy who's been my boyfriend for a while and even then, just for quick things. It seems too "friend zone" to me otherwise cause I only text with friends cause we're all really busy so that's how we make plans, otherwise we make plans to call if we live in different cities. Anyways, the point I'm trying to make is, regardless of if you don't mind texting but hate solely texting, just tell them you hate it whether its true or not. That's the only way I've found that you can eliminate the guys who don't ever pick up the phone. I've even had guys tell me "oh thank god you hate texting, all I meet are girls who text!!".
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Old 04-09-2012, 06:27 PM
 
Location: North Carolina
766 posts, read 1,402,560 times
Reputation: 328
Quote:
Originally Posted by TaoistDude View Post
I had to correspond (meaning several exchanges) with over 800 women to find 50 worth meeting, and 10 worth dating, even briefly. A few of those had real potential. I'm not sure what you expect, but it's not usually quick or easy to meet someone truyly compatible. Of course, it could be the very next person. For example, I was the very first person my wife contacted on a dating site. It's simply luck and a matter of numbers. Based on all my prior experience, I could see almost immediately that she was the right one for me.

I prefer the pay sites as there are fewer people just messing around or trying things out - when you pay, you generally want something real from it.
Wow, it was definitely worth it if after all that you met your wife

That's why I was thinking maybe I should try the pay sites. There are plenty of people i don't reply back to or after a few exchanges I see that they aren't my type.

I don't know what I am expecting. I guess I thought since I was actually getting responses and talking to people it would go somewhere from there. I almost want to contact the one guy back just to see why he stopped contacting me.
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