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What a jerk. Seems like he is the one with issues. You are too good for him. You should be the one who "will pass" on him.
I appreciate it but I feel horribly and its shaken my self esteem more so than it already has. It's not the first time this has happened to me. I'm a good person, hard worker and good mother and yet I haven't met one man who feels I'm worthy to make any sort of commitment to. I'm not a club chick ..I don't hang out and I know I don't give off that vibe. It's very disheartening.
I appreciate it but I feel horribly and its shaken my self esteem more so than it already has. It's not the first time this has happened to me. I'm a good person, hard worker and good mother and yet I haven't met one man who feels I'm worthy to make any sort of commitment to. I'm not a club chick ..I don't hang out and I know I don't give off that vibe. It's very disheartening.
Please don't take this personally. It's a shame he didn't just say FWB from the start but I have, in the past, been asked for a FWB relationship-most likely because I was a divorced mom. It is no reflection on you as a person. Some men just don't want to be serious with a woman with children. They might think she is starved for sex and will take anything thrown her way. You may never meet Mr. Right, and that sounds sad, but in the long run it is better to be alone than to be used.
And watch out for men that are overly friendly to your kids because there are predators out there that will take advantage of your loneliness to get access to your children.
I recently had someone that I knew for sometime ask to be friends with benefits. I've never been in that kind of situation and I was kind of surprised because I saw this guy as something more. When he realized that I had feelings for him he said "It's best if we go our separate ways". I asked why and he said "Stick around for what so you can catch more feelings than what you already have..I'll pass". I felt so cheap and ugly and hurt. I read a post from friend on FB stating "Friends with benefits = in reality is telling you to your face that you're good enough to f... ...but not good enough to invest feelings in." Is this true?? Apparently I'm not even good enough to be friends with either.
This is the second post I have read about FWB. It sounds to me like this "friend" wants to insure that he will always be able to have sex no matter who it is with and that he is willing to jeopardize your friendship to have it with you. I agree with your friend's post on Facebook about why guys will approach a friend to ask if they will be an FWB..insurance policy for sexual intimacy..ABSOLUTELY!! Who needs a friend like this???
You need therapy. What you wrote about him gives the impression of a guy who is sort of ghetto and tacky. I keep it kosher down there (how romantic) and the multiple baby mama drama thing...ick. Don't be mad at him for being honest about who he is...look at yourself. Why are you willing to stoop so low. You're devastated because a loser with baby mamas wants to make use of your lady parts when he feels like it but only until he finds someone he really does care about. Two years of your life wasted on that? Smack yourself for being thirsty and don't let this happen again.
Please don't take this personally. It's a shame he didn't just say FWB from the start but I have, in the past, been asked for a FWB relationship-most likely because I was a divorced mom. It is no reflection on you as a person. Some men just don't want to be serious with a woman with children. They might think she is starved for sex and will take anything thrown her way. You may never meet Mr. Right, and that sounds sad, but in the long run it is better to be alone than to be used.
And watch out for men that are overly friendly to your kids because there are predators out there that will take advantage of your loneliness to get access to your children.
He has children. He has 3 with 2 different women. I only have one son and he is already 21 yrs of age as I had him very young. He has small children. If anything I should have been the one who was leery because I am not on the same page as far as being a parent is concerned.
You need therapy. What you wrote about him gives the impression of a guy who is sort of ghetto and tacky. I keep it kosher down there (how romantic) and the multiple baby mama drama thing...ick. Don't be mad at him for being honest about who he is...look at yourself. Why are you willing to stoop so low. You're devastated because a loser with baby mamas wants to make use of your lady parts when he feels like it but only until he finds someone he really does care about. Two years of your life wasted on that? Smack yourself for being thirsty and don't let this happen again.
I'm not mad at him just really disappointed and hurt. Yes I guess I need to look inward and find the answer. And No..it's never happening again. Lesson Learned.
I appreciate it but I feel horribly and its shaken my self esteem more so than it already has. It's not the first time this has happened to me. I'm a good person, hard worker and good mother and yet I haven't met one man who feels I'm worthy to make any sort of commitment to. I'm not a club chick ..I don't hang out and I know I don't give off that vibe. It's very disheartening.
Meeting someone is very tough. That said this guy wasn't for you and did you a favor. As others already pointed out he is a jerk and an immature one at that.
You sound genuinely hurt over this and for your own sake you need to get over it. I guess me being alone for the last 5 years and not caring anymore has to do with my mental toughness. Learn to put yourself first and be your own best friend. That is what has worked for me. Don't give in and hold out for what you want. If you can't get it then so be it but do hold your head up!
There are a lot of lonely people out there and some of them are even in relationships. You are not the only one.
Best wishes to you.
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Going to focus on work and home and leave the rest alone.
