Why online dating is futile (family, definition, emotionally, good looking)
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I joined POF a few days ago because of another thread in the forum just to see what kind of messages I received. The VAST VAST majority of them were terrible (i.e. WO GRL, U REAL??, or GOT ANY NUDES, or Hey gurl when u wann hook up u hot etc etc) but I did receive a few that were surprisingly good.
Tonight, I actually met one over a beer and we had a fantastic time together. We had a lot in common, he was really nice and didn't make a move on me or ask me to come to his place. While it certainly had it's awkward moments, I quite enjoyed his company.
So, who knows? Maybe this will turn out to be a good thing.
got an email recently; sadly, it wasn't from an actual person:
April 13
You are Hot!
Hey [redacted],
We just detected that you're now among the most attractive people on OkCupid.
We learned this from clicks to your profile and reactions to you in Quickmatch and Quiver. Did you get a new haircut or something?
Well, it's working!
To celebrate, we've adjusted your OkCupid experience:
You'll see more attractive people in your match results.
This won't affect your match percentages, which are still based purely on your answers and desired match's answers. But we'll recommend more attractive people to you. You'll also appear more often to other attractive people.
Sign in to see your newly-shuffled matches. Have fun, and don't let this go to your head.
ITT I will explain why I think online dating is futile, for people like myself (normal, young, single males.)
Not long ago, I engaged in a very simple experiment: I signed up a real profile (for myself), and fake profile (of a girl.) Now, this girl is someone I used to date -- so she's not "out of my league" or anything. We ought to be similar in attractiveness, to the opposite sex.
I just counted: Since April 1, she's gotten 58 views. I've gotten 6 !
That means for every 1 single, active female online profile, you have about 10 men chasing her.
I didn't count the messages sent/received, but the discrepancy is even more severe. ( I would expect messages received to be very different between men and women, but not profile views. )
I posted this because I see a lot of men on this forum, whose self esteem has been totally crushed by relying on online dating as a measure of their desirability to women. So the moral of the story: Men, don't let online rejection affect your self esteem, because it isn't a reflection of flesh-and-blood reality. Get out there in the sunshine and talk to women. That is all.
Your lack of views could simply be due to the fact that you have a unappealing profile pic, or an unappealing "tag line".
If by "young" you mean under 30, then perhaps there is an imbalance. But personally I know many people in the "over 30" category that use online dating successfully to not consider it a very useful tool.
I signed up for an online dating profile after a similar thread was posted about a week ago. I did absolutely nothing to gain attraction (no sexy pics, etc), but I was inundated with messages that made my skin crawl.
For that reason alone, I will never do the online dating thing. I'm sure other women experienced the same thing and were equally turned off.
Yep...you'll get many of those. But those are the ones you ignore...just like the leering aholes in the bars. It's really pretty simple. If you let those silly ignorant people turn you off from online dating with a simple email, what do you do in real life?
So let me get this straight, you start a thread talking about how dating sites hurt men's self esteem, then proceed to troll guys on a fake female profile and insult them behind their backs on an internet forum.
That's nice.
Grow up.
That's exactly what I was thinking. What a spectacular way to increase the frustration of others in his same situation. Wow.
On a side note, what I'm trying to figure out is why younger women hate online dating so much.
Men are obviously far more willing to date online, than women. I suspect women feel they're missing out on something online, but I can't figure exactly what that is. I suspect it has something to do with an inability to determine a man's social status, but that's just speculation.
One would think it would be a major opportunity for women, to be able to force a guy to type out his thoughts, and to be able to slow down the pace. You'd think that would help them weed out the players and undesirables -- but it just doesn't work that way. Clearly there's something my male brain is overlooking, here.
I think it's just that it's unnecessary for young women, plus, there's the "creeper" factor with someone you haven't seen in person.
most women on dating sites are sharing themselves.. and the men on sites like zoosk and pof are just looking for sex
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