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Old 05-14-2012, 07:27 AM
 
Location: Infernuan
1,367 posts, read 738,739 times
Reputation: 1416
Quote:
Originally Posted by stepka View Post
And you think that would be attractive, how? I remember once years ago I had a nice date with a nice young man who took me golfing (I had never golfed before) and we had a lovely time and I was looking forward to another date soon. My roommate (who was a man) then told me a few days later that this young man had had a long talk with him and told him how much he liked me but he didn't feel he was worthy of me. It was a total turn-off. And I had a low self-esteem!
I do not understand this. Perhaps the guy thinks you ARE a great woman and perhaps he feels that he may not be up to your level. Why would that be a turn-off? What if he thought the opposite and told you that he was more than worthy of you, he's the '****', etc.? Would you consider that to be arrogant and thus a turn-off too? What should he do? Not say anything?
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Old 05-14-2012, 12:45 PM
 
3,098 posts, read 1,944,969 times
Reputation: 3620
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rabbitluvr View Post
I do not understand this. Perhaps the guy thinks you ARE a great woman and perhaps he feels that he may not be up to your level. Why would that be a turn-off? What if he thought the opposite and told you that he was more than worthy of you, he's the '****', etc.? Would you consider that to be arrogant and thus a turn-off too? What should he do? Not say anything?
because it shows a lack of confidence/self belief on his part, I don't think she wants to be his life coach...obviously if he felt he was better than her, that would be a turn-off because of cockiness/arrogance.
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Old 05-14-2012, 12:53 PM
 
Location: Carrollton, TX
751 posts, read 592,616 times
Reputation: 844
I have not read all the replies. But what about meeting people through a chat program where you can chat with random people near you? No, not an "adult" chat. Just a chat.

It was like 12 years ago, but I met my husband on ICQ. Yep, that's old, huh! I was bored one day and searched for a male near my age in our city. His user name appealed to me and the rest is history. We only lived 8 miles from each other but probably would have never met in a city of 2.5 million. He's my best friend and my love and we've been married 11 years so far.

Just an idea if you haven't thought of it already.
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Old 05-14-2012, 01:30 PM
 
14,756 posts, read 13,457,221 times
Reputation: 8078
If you tried it a few times and it didn't work for you, then you probably don't want to try it anymore. It's very awkward to show up at B&N or Starbucks and decide in 30 minutes whether you like someone. The thing is, once these on-line dating services have your e-mail address, your inbox will always have these "offers" to "come back." At first, I gave them a second glance. Now, they're an immediate delete. I have one word for it: ARTIFICIAL.
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Old 05-15-2012, 04:16 PM
 
Location: Hillsboro, OR
5,338 posts, read 4,081,327 times
Reputation: 3236
Hmmmm... ...seven years this coming September (with a years time out after year 1) with current (last) online romance. The person that I met before her and I are still friends of a sort. At opposite ends of the country though. No threat to domestic arrangements. Online works if you are realistic about your expectations. IMHO what most of you want from online is increased scope for cannon fodder to inspect, inject and reject. You go through a lot of frustration and torture making a catch online and there just isn't enough dating material there to support an ongoing catch and release program. I question the validiity of the OP's experiment. Has he submitted the text of both ads for peer review by this forum? I certainly don't trust myself to write an objective ad as coming from a woman. Nevertheless, there is a real reason why overall men get so few responses: it costs nothing to place an ad but it does cost money to answer them. Men are the pursuers in our society. Women expect them to pony up the money and... ... pursue. And mostly they do. There have been times in my online dating career when I answered 72 profiles in a year and only received 3 letters from women in response to mine. That's worse than telemarketing. But all that went out the window when I got a live one on the end of my line. I'd usually be occupied for the next year or two and not worried about the low odds inherent in the process. If you are a woman and hetero (or vice versa) the worst thing you can do to your dating options is to live with an opposite sex roomate. It sends entirely the wrong message.

H (you can get a microwave, bicycle or even a car off Craigslist, it is not the venue for a love interest. Not even a casual fling. You get what you pay for. There is zero protection on a free dating site like POF or OK Cupid. Serious women avoid sites like that so you get the ones that aren't serious. Bad idea.)
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Old 05-16-2012, 06:14 PM
 
Location: St. Louis
7,421 posts, read 7,858,824 times
Reputation: 8950
Quote:
Originally Posted by darrensmooth View Post
because it shows a lack of confidence/self belief on his part, I don't think she wants to be his life coach...obviously if he felt he was better than her, that would be a turn-off because of cockiness/arrogance.
You nailed it. Most women are not attracted to men who will lick their shoes. Just sayin'. And FTR: I am a very nice easy-going woman, not a biotch at all so I imagine most women would like this behavior even less than I do. And no, arrogant is not my style in a man either but if I had to go a little one way or the other, a little arrogance would win as long as it wasn't directed at me or mine.
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