Quote:
Originally Posted by Rift
Just wondering what anyone thinks about hooking up and/or sex with a female coworker of mine. Thing is she is 20 years or so older than me. I find her attractive. A MILF in my opinion. She is married though. She sits very close to me at work. I seem to get subtle hints here and there that it could be a possibility to have this situation happen, but I could be reading too much into it. She tells me that her husband is always away on business...always smiling at me and seems to want to talk a good bit.
My biggest concern is that I would see her everyday if something were to happen in regards to anything sexual happening with her. Then if I were to approach her in some way to show my interest it could backfire and may make the situation awkward or she may feel like she has been harassed.
I guess I'm just wondering if I should take a chance in showing interest in some way. Just not sure how to go about it to really test the waters or to see if she would be interested in a one night stand type of thing.
Any thoughts about how I could approach her without messing up my work situation? Should I just forget it and not fantasize about it anymore?
Thanks in advance for all posts.
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First thing I'm gonna say is:
don't poop where you eat. Like you said, she's a coworker: you share a workplace. If anything goes wrong, the drama could totally ruin your job.
First and foremost, there's flirtation, but nothing's happened. I've had older female coworkers who have flirted with me, who have said stuff like, "if I was twenty years younger, you'd be taking me out to dinner!" and whatnot. Generally speaking, it was harmless flirtation, and in the situations in which I felt I
could have actually done something, I knew that it could turn into something much more awkward after the fact.
Everyone in the office would know...
People would talk...
A lot of people would go, "
why?" because of the age gap, and adding it all together, they'd start viewing me as a sleazeball...
A lot of respect would be lost...
Totally not worth it.
Flirtation and hints are one thing, and a lot of people don't necessarily expect you to do anything more than reciprocate. Even if she thought that she was interested, if you do try to take it a step further, there's always a chance that she could be flattered at first, then think more about it, feel remorseful, and go straight to HR. You do
not want to be hit with a sexual harassment accusation - I've never had it happen to me, but have seen it happen to coworkers, deserved or not, and it can totally destroy your livelihood and damage your personal life, as well.
Beyond that,
she's married. I'm a firm believer that if you don't know these things, it's
not your fault; if you
do, then bets are off when the husband finds out since you were a willing and complacent participant in infidelity. If the dude shows up at your workplace with a baseball bat, you can't really cry foul - you knew what you were getting into.
So, at the end of the day, this whole situation has
"big freakin' mess" written all over it, and the only advice I can offer, being a man who has been around the block a few times, is that you should not do anything with this woman.
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