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Old 04-12-2012, 06:04 PM
213 posts, read 866,560 times
Reputation: 286


Just wondering what anyone thinks about hooking up and/or sex with a female coworker of mine. Thing is she is 20 years or so older than me. I find her attractive. A MILF in my opinion. She is married though. She sits very close to me at work. I seem to get subtle hints here and there that it could be a possibility to have this situation happen, but I could be reading too much into it. She tells me that her husband is always away on business...always smiling at me and seems to want to talk a good bit.

My biggest concern is that I would see her everyday if something were to happen in regards to anything sexual happening with her. Then if I were to approach her in some way to show my interest it could backfire and may make the situation awkward or she may feel like she has been harassed.

I guess I'm just wondering if I should take a chance in showing interest in some way. Just not sure how to go about it to really test the waters or to see if she would be interested in a one night stand type of thing.

Any thoughts about how I could approach her without messing up my work situation? Should I just forget it and not fantasize about it anymore?

Thanks in advance for all posts.

Old 04-12-2012, 06:08 PM
Location: Sugarland
13,227 posts, read 11,754,597 times
Reputation: 15243
Originally Posted by Rift View Post
I guess I'm just wondering if I should take a chance in showing interest in some way. Just not sure how to go about it to really test the waters or to see if she would be interested in a one night stand type of thing.
Sounds like a situation you should probably just leave alone, but if you can't...

She's the one who's married so it would be better if she were the one to give you a clear signal that she's interested in a fling. If you misread her and make a move on her, that would be worse.
Old 04-12-2012, 06:16 PM
Location: New Zealand and Australia
7,458 posts, read 11,122,379 times
Reputation: 7783
She is married AND a co-worker.....Three words : Don't do it
Old 04-12-2012, 06:51 PM
Location: Morrisville, NC
7,690 posts, read 10,062,057 times
Reputation: 6909
I'm fresh out of worms just now. Maybe someone will open a can for me.

As far as actual advice, Sweet Like Sugar has it right. If you value your job you have to let her make a move. It probably the case that she enjoys attention from you but would not act on it. You might try to drop a hint once and she what she says but leave it alone after that. Obviously know that most people will have a problem with what you are doing and also know that there could be ramifications far beyond what you would think in store.
Old 04-12-2012, 07:00 PM
Location: Austin
773 posts, read 1,015,086 times
Reputation: 931
Why the hell are you even entertaining this idea?

A little bit of vintage nookie is not worth your job and your reputation.
Old 04-12-2012, 07:03 PM
1,739 posts, read 626,730 times
Reputation: 3525
You said she is married. That has to make you think and realize, at least it should that obviously she doesn't take the vows she took with her husband seriously. If she flirts with you and say you do take it to that next level, do you think you are the only one she cheated with? Think of the funk she could give you. Yuck..that is not even saying how morally wrong that is. That should make her unattractive, knowing what type of person she is. Maybe, I don't know guys think differently. I would hope not though. Stay away from that/her. That is trouble. Try to put yourself in her husbands shoes. Have you ever been cheated on? I have and it HURTS, don't do that to someone else or yourself. Find a SINGLE girl.
Old 04-12-2012, 07:03 PM
Location: San Antonio/Houston
33,542 posts, read 51,750,301 times
Reputation: 82960
I think that's a VERY BAD idea.
You should separate your work from your private life.
Its almost every time a disaster.
Old 04-12-2012, 07:06 PM
Location: Austin
773 posts, read 1,015,086 times
Reputation: 931
OP has come up with the trifecta for disaster:

* much older
* married
* work colleague
Old 04-12-2012, 07:08 PM
Location: a primitive state
9,534 posts, read 19,402,289 times
Reputation: 11407
Maybe you're just reading too much into it.

A lot of women don't believe they're giving off signals like that. When they flirt or talk, it's just a way of having some harmless fun at work. It's nothing serious.
Old 04-12-2012, 07:10 PM
213 posts, read 866,560 times
Reputation: 286
OK. Well, I think based on the other posts and what my gut feeling is...is to not think about doing this/initiating this thing. I just thought being with an older lady would be a cool experience, but it has more negative consequences/outcomes than positive in the long run, I suppose. And plus I could be totally imagining this scenario. Could be that she likes having a younger man attracted to her or something like that. Like it helps her think she isnt so old afterall.

Thank you for those that replied.
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