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first of all, thank you all for your comments and for cheering me up! i really appreciate it!
she did indeed acted with cruelty towards me.
the thing is that in the one time we talked back in february; she seemed like she wanted to support me. She said "i'm gonna be here for you like you'v always been there for me", and she told me that i'v left a mark on her and that she will never forget me. She also said that she can only imagine how happy the woman that i'm gonna marry is going to be.
i know that it might look as routine talk that every girl tells to a guy, but this was different. She had me all confused trying to figure out what really happened there.
she also said that it took her time to forget me. i pointed out that she forgot all about me way too soon.. she said that i have no idea how much pain she has gone through, and that she met this new guy only in january. honestly i can't believe she is lying, i really believe that they met in january. But it doesn't make any difference anyway..
but perhaps you guys are right.. it's a lost thing anyway. It's not that i want this girl. after what she has done to me all i want right now is to talk to her and ask "why?". but maybe this is all overrated. i feel very angry right now, because when someone gives up on you like that when you are in the most difficult times in your life so far, it's gonna leave a mark on you, especially after all you have done for them. and she couldn't have chosen a better timing to tell me that she wants to forget all about me, she had to do it in my first week in my new university..
I'm not saying that this what caused my problems later; they were connected to other bad decisions, but she certainly made me freak out that i'm gonna lose a very close person to me. someone that i'm used to share everything with.
so.. in the final decision, you guys are sayin that i shouldn't call her? i shouldn't confront her with my questions? (it's been a month and a half since we last talked.. i can't say that i'm not really anxious to know what she's up to right now.. i really wonder wither they can see each other! i can't believe her family problems just vanished :S)
It sounds to me like she is telling you that you are a great guy and she loves you, just not like that. She might have feelings for you, but not romantic ones. And she is trying to be as unruthless as possible and let you down gently, but her boyfriend is in the picture now and if he says it's inappropriate that she contact you again, then she knows that she has to cut this friendship off with you. She has a new relationship now and is not going to jeopardize it by talking to guys her boyfriend doesn't like. This is what couples do. They make concessions for each other.
As far as her having problems regarding this guy, maybe she does, and yet is willing to put up with it. That is a clear signal that she really wants things to work out with him.
Last edited by temptation001; 04-13-2012 at 03:16 PM..
The only person that can really give you closure is you. She doesn't want to talk to you. She's not going to give you the answers you are seeking. Even if you did talk to her - I doubt she would say the magic things that would erase all your hurt and anger. Your healing has to come from within you. Sometimes life isn't fair. You have to just accept it, move on, and concentrate on yourself.
So here is my advice - She is your ex. That means Ex. That means DONE. Your heart got injured. Like any other injury, it needs time to heal. Do not pick at it. Do not see her, do not talk to her. You need time and distance to get better. Do not continuously reopen the wound, do not see this person. She has moved on and now you need to.
There are never answers to "why" in any breakup. Her reasons for breaking up with you were not truthful. A woman will not break up with a guy because of family problems or not being able to see him. There was another reason and it doesn't matter why because you have no control over it. Sometimes, people just don't feel the same about each other. Maybe it's a chemical reaction because love makes no sense at all.
lately i'v been going through a very tough time, emotionally..
In august 2011, me and my ex girlfriend decided together that it is in the best interest of both of us to end the relationship between us. We really loved each other but she had problems at her home and we couldn't see each other enough. We have been together for almost a year and a half, and i can't say that it wasn
t tough to take this decision, but we had to.
anyway, I still didn't want to get away from this girl. I decided that i will still call her from time to time and check up on her. become friends, more or less.
In october of that same year, i started studying at a new university, i got through very hard time in my first weeks there, and out of a sudden, i get a phone call from her telling me that she wanted to forget about me.
I didn't give up, and still called her from time to time, but she would always ignore my calls.in february this year, i got really through tough time in my university, i had a lot of problems going on and i was mentally devastated. Out of weakness, i had to call her, she was probably the only person who could comfort me at that time: and when i did that i get to found out she has been going out with a new guy for almost two months!
I was crushed, really can't describe what was going on my head back then; still she was interested in why i was calling, so i told her the story, she said that she was gonna be there for me, but in truth she just blocked me on her cell so i couldn't reach her anymore. from there, i decided I want to pick myself up and build myself over, I solved my problems in the university, everything now is going great for me, but the problem is that i can't stop thinking about her. pretty much everything i do reminds me of her.now i know that she had every right to start over with a new guy, but given the fact that we broke up becasue of her and because of her problems at home, isn't that freakin odd that she's seeing someone else now? i mean.. why would it work out with him and not with me? we loved each other alot and she cried almost all night when we broke up ...
another thing that's killing my mind is why did she gave up on me like that when i most needed her? :S why would she block me on her cell when she told me that she was going to be there for me..I really want to call her and ask her these questions but i'm afraid it might be too soon for me.
i'd like some advice and your opinion about this! thanks!
Sounds to me like she wanted to break up with you for a long time but didn't know how to do it; hence the story about her family being the reason was not the whole truth. Unfortunately long distance relationships don't ever work out all that well because both parties have to work on it and it is soooo easy to stray if one isn't willing to work. The breakup is pretty fresh and it does sound like you have managed to at least get your college stuff back in line so that is good; give yourself credit for that.
Start dating again and you will see how fast she fades into the sunset. Don't call, text or facebook her. If you keep "refreshing" the pain you felt over this breakup, it will never heal. Calling or getting in touch with her in any way reopens the wound. Her blocking your calls is a huge slap in the face so stop hurting yourself and start living again. She doesn't deserve the honesty you are willing to put out there for her and has obviously not given you any honesty back. Move on and good luck!
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