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Old 04-15-2012, 10:19 PM
 
Location: Ohio
13,933 posts, read 12,846,487 times
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Im not talking about fantasizing about people you don't know, such as a women on the subway or celebrities, but rather someone you know well and have an innocent relationship/freindship with.
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Old 04-15-2012, 10:23 PM
 
Location: TX
6,486 posts, read 6,359,681 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WhipperSnapper 88 View Post
Im not talking about fantasizing about people you don't know, such as a women on the subway or celebrities, but rather someone you know well and have an innocent relationship/freindship with.
Surely, that doesn't make it any better
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Old 04-15-2012, 10:44 PM
 
Location: Pa
42,763 posts, read 52,702,668 times
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I am now.
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Old 04-15-2012, 10:45 PM
 
17,869 posts, read 20,940,856 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WhipperSnapper 88 View Post
Im not talking about fantasizing about people you don't know, such as a women on the subway or celebrities, but rather someone you know well and have an innocent relationship/freindship with.
Unless I was trying to date her anyway, I can't think of any woman I was friends with that I fantasized about.
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Old 04-16-2012, 12:37 AM
 
Location: Ohio
13,933 posts, read 12,846,487 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vic 2.0 View Post
Surely, that doesn't make it any better
No, and that is the point. I can fantasize about any random women I am walking behind in the grocery store and I feel many things, but guilt isn't one of them. But, if I fantasize about someone I know and like, a freind for instance, I often feel guilty about it, like I have betrayed them in some way or another.
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Old 04-16-2012, 12:42 AM
 
Location: TX
6,486 posts, read 6,359,681 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WhipperSnapper 88 View Post
No, and that is the point. I can fantasize about any random women I am walking behind in the grocery store and I feel many things, but guilt isn't one of them. But, if I fantasize about someone I know and like, a freind for instance, I often feel guilty about it, like I have betrayed them in some way or another.
If I were single, and I knew the woman was single, I wouldn't feel the least bit guilty for fantasizing about her. And I'd probably rather fantasize about a female friend than a stranger, the only concern being that I might develop feelings for her and her not feel the same way.

Guess we're all just dimferent on this one.
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Old 04-16-2012, 12:58 AM
 
9,005 posts, read 13,771,904 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter View Post
I'll be honest, I've fantasized about a couple of male celebrities. I do feel some guilt.
You are a male and fantasized about males? Does that mean you have gay tendencies?
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Old 04-20-2012, 02:18 AM
 
30,907 posts, read 32,866,874 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WhipperSnapper 88 View Post
Im not talking about fantasizing about people you don't know, such as a women on the subway or celebrities, but rather someone you know well and have an innocent relationship/freindship with.
I've done it and no, I didn't feel guilty about it. I believe fantasizing is natural (for both men and women, if that distinction makes any difference).
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Old 04-20-2012, 02:20 AM
 
Location: southern california
61,289 posts, read 87,134,660 times
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yes especially at church where physical attraction is a no no. of course at work its a no no too.
and certainly a no no in your neighborhood. gosh how is that supposed to work.
u mean for it not to be a no no u gota go get a bar fly? but then they say omg huck brought home a tramp.
its all so unfair.
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Old 04-20-2012, 04:20 AM
 
Location: Kansas City, MO
3,565 posts, read 7,932,716 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by justthe6ofus View Post
Yes I have and no I don't feel guilty for it. I'm married but I don't really see what that has to do with anything (related to another posters comments).

It's just a fantasy. Heck I fantasize about lots of things that I have no desire to make happen in reality as well.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ulysses61 View Post
As if women don't have just as many sexual fantasies as men?

I can't imagine ever feeling guilty about a sex fantasy about anyone, whether it's a famous person or a colleague. I would imagine the only people on earth who couldn't enjoy a sexual fantasy and feel guilty about it would be some kind of religious zealot.

I've been happily married for years. I still have sex fantasies about a few of the men I work with and the concept of guilt has never entered the equation. Fantasizing about someone is perfectly normal and healthy. Acting on the fantasy is another matter entirely.
Are you guys sure you shouldn't feel guilty for sexually fantasizing about somebody other than your spouse?

If you're aiming for monogamy, devotion, and loyalty - the basis and point of marriage - are you sure you should be channeling any of your sexual and romantic energy to somebody other than your spouse, even if it does remain just a fantasy?

Fantasizing is like planting a seed. A seed that if conditions were right might blossom and hurt or destroy a marriage. A seed that if not planted doesn't have a chance to be acted on.

I could see myself fantasizing about how things might go with a girl on a date, being single. But once it reached that point and I had a real person to be with, why fantasize about others? Isn't that greedy? Is greed something to feel guilty about?

It seems like our standards have become too lax, with the justifying rhetoric being that high standards are unrealistic and can't be achieved. I don't think that's true. Isn't the point of a committed relationship, especially marriage, to secure a sexual and romantic partner and not worry about that and think about it anymore? Why go out of your way to keep thinking about the potential for more of what you already securely have? Why not devote your energy and capacity outside your relationship into other things?

Do you think your spouses would be bothered or hurt, even if they didn't show it, if they knew your fantasies? Easy-to-resort-to rhetoric suggests a person should grow up and be mature and accepting so their partner's fantasy or whatever it may be doesn't bother them. But is that right? Is scarring over or working your way through that normal human emotion right? Maybe that emotion is their for a reason. Maybe to truly committ to somebody is to do just that, even in your head or when nobody's looking.

I'm not God or a religious zealot (as somebody said somewhere above), I'm not even religious, and I don't know what's right or wrong, what's too high of a standard and unrealistic. I'm just thinking aloud. Everything I just said makes logical sense to me and isn't based on religion whatsoever.
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