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Old 04-18-2012, 10:05 AM
 
Location: The cupboard under the sink
3,574 posts, read 3,839,938 times
Reputation: 6094
Quote:
Originally Posted by demo13 View Post
i would never abuse a woman,that just weak and stupid
Sadly, this is something many do without realising it. If you talk to abusers, most of them would say they aren't.
Not accusing you, but just be cautious, you may be right, she may have also been up to something, but equally you may be a jealous control freak, albeit unknowingly.

Quote:
Originally Posted by demo13 View Post
that was the main reason,simply because the phone calls where constat and i supose at that time i was afraid not to lose her and i made a stupid mistake
It seems maybe English isn't your first language, but you're gonna have to explain more clearly here.
What phone calls ?
What exactly did she do which made you suspicious ?

Remember, you may be right, she may have cheated, but if you don't explain yourself clearly on here, you will never get the right advice

 
Old 04-18-2012, 10:17 AM
 
12,299 posts, read 6,703,838 times
Reputation: 9262
Based on the information you gave, I find her behavior and reaction to be quite extreme and weird. If it's true that there's nothing more to this than what you've said then this girl doesn't sound very bright. It's not reason enough to not talk to her baby's father at all, hormones or not.

And, yes, I think it would be wise to get a paternity test if she ends up asking for child support. If she doesn't ask for child support, then I wouldn't bother with a paternity test. You have a right to see your child though, if you want that.
 
Old 04-18-2012, 10:19 AM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
15,810 posts, read 8,003,038 times
Reputation: 15683
I have a feeling you are both teenagers - is this correct?
 
Old 04-18-2012, 10:25 AM
 
18 posts, read 11,297 times
Reputation: 13
you are right english is not my first language and im sorry for that,i'll explain why did i do come in to the stage off not trusting her at that moment
a couple night's when we where together phone was burning if you know what i mean,she in did has a lot of her female frend's and when they are borred that's what they do txting all night and day,message after message and she was constantly being distracted by phone,around new year i thought her in a small lie and with time my suspicion was growing and lead to me not trusting her,leak of communication was main problem with us and i end up controlling freak,simply because her being pregnant wake up a big fear in me not lose her,IM coming from a broken family and i didn't want my child to have same horrible life like i did,i didn't listen her at the time and than is my biggest mistake ,them fu*** phone calls where from her friends' she had misscarage and i didn't know at that moment what is going on,adding that she was under the hormone attack and being all moody i thought only at the worse possible scenario
and i know i deserve to be judged,i was fool and if i can take back time i would but what is done is done
her sister has a majoer role asweel in all off this,at the begging she was envy on her sister because she had a boyfriend and that she is not settle down,so she was making scenes,crying all the time being depressed and i didnt know from what part should i take it and how to react my ex was between me and her all the time,mainly because they live together,and when she found out that she is prego the first thing what she was worrying about is will she move out we me,she didnt even say congrat's and things like that,should i mention that here where im single mom get everything(free house,payed bils,social help) and me as father i got screwed,but i dont mind paying for my kid it's my pleasure
[SIZE=-3][/SIZE]
 
Old 04-18-2012, 10:26 AM
 
18 posts, read 11,297 times
Reputation: 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdrop93 View Post
I have a feeling you are both teenagers - is this correct?
im 26 and i tried to talk to her and i belive that tru talk we cann overcome all difrences but that's not the case with her,she is 23 and the child was not planed
 
Old 04-18-2012, 10:29 AM
 
18 posts, read 11,297 times
Reputation: 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by srjth View Post
Based on the information you gave, I find her behavior and reaction to be quite extreme and weird. If it's true that there's nothing more to this than what you've said then this girl doesn't sound very bright. It's not reason enough to not talk to her baby's father at all, hormones or not.

And, yes, I think it would be wise to get a paternity test if she ends up asking for child support. If she doesn't ask for child support, then I wouldn't bother with a paternity test. You have a right to see your child though, if you want that.
what's the point me lie over here,i come here to ask for a advice and by giving false info i will not recive a proper advice,
 
Old 04-18-2012, 10:32 AM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
15,810 posts, read 8,003,038 times
Reputation: 15683
Quote:
Originally Posted by demo13 View Post
im 26 and i tried to talk to her and i belive that tru talk we cann overcome all difrences but that's not the case with her,she is 23 and the child was not planed
Wow. You both have A LOT of growing up to do.

First of all - you need to decide whether or not you want to be a part of this child's life and help with supporting the child or if you want to give away your rights. If you have no grounds for believing that this child is not yours - I would drop getting a paternity test.

Secondly - she is pregnant. It sounds like you were being very selfish in the beginning and trying to put your needs before hers. How did you not know that being pregnant affects a woman's hormones and moods?

Thirdly - I think you need to try to sit down with her AND her family and have a good talk. You all need to try and be adults in this matter. But wait awhile first - giver her some time and space. From what I can tell - she's still very early on in the pregnancy. This child isn't going to be born tomorrow.
 
Old 04-18-2012, 10:35 AM
 
12,299 posts, read 6,703,838 times
Reputation: 9262
Quote:
Originally Posted by demo13 View Post
what's the point me lie over here,i come here to ask for a advice and by giving false info i will not recive a proper advice,
I didn't say you were lying. It would be nice if we had more details about what caused you to think she was unfaithful and how that went down.
 
Old 04-18-2012, 10:36 AM
 
18 posts, read 11,297 times
Reputation: 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdrop93 View Post
Wow. You both have A LOT of growing up to do.

First of all - you need to decide whether or not you want to be a part of this child's life and help with supporting the child or if you want to give away your rights. If you have no grounds for believing that this child is not yours - I would drop getting a paternity test.

Secondly - she is pregnant. It sounds like you were being very selfish in the beginning and trying to put your needs before hers. How did you not know that being pregnant affects a woman's hormones and moods?

Thirdly - I think you need to try to sit down with her AND her family and have a good talk. You all need to try and be adults in this matter. But wait awhile first - giver her some time and space. From what I can tell - she's still very early on in the pregnancy. This child isn't going to be born tomorrow.
not in my wildest dreams i would not give up on my child,i grow up without father so there is no chance that my kid is going to go tru same thing,and yes i strongly belive that baby is mine,and yes i was selfish and realise that but it was to late when i did it i push her away,and i didn't know about pregnancy and hormons and mood swing's and how someone can change in a split of the second
btw i want to say thank's to all off you for all of your comment's bad or god i apriciate them,and thank's for your time
 
Old 04-18-2012, 10:37 AM
 
4,231 posts, read 2,538,340 times
Reputation: 5101
This poor kid...may I suggest adoption? Neither of you seem to be mature enough to even handle the pregnancy let alone what actually raising a child entails.
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