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Old 04-18-2012, 12:23 PM
 
Location: Long Island, NY
7,486 posts, read 9,063,372 times
Reputation: 8518

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Quote:
Originally Posted by darrensmooth View Post
theres nothing in that...maybe she didn't tell you because she knows how insecure you are and knew you would freak out (go figure)
Now there are 2 texts? Thought he said A text? ...no consistency. I wonder if there even is a pregnant ex...

 
Old 04-18-2012, 02:05 PM
 
4,481 posts, read 5,485,375 times
Reputation: 5042
Bottom line is get a DNA to make sure the kid is yours and go from there. Get used to the fact going forward the woman calls the shots and she is acting this way for a reason. If your in the US find out what the laws are per your state with child support because in the beginning it may not be an issue but years down the road it might slam you. Not to also mention in some states if the woman goes on welfare the father has to pay it back.

This is a serious matter and you don't want to get hit financially for a child who you later find out isn't yours and the courts don't want to hear anything...Just pay or go to jail, lose a license(s), garnishment, etc... I've seen it happen to others.. Thank the lawd I don't have any kids..
 
Old 04-18-2012, 02:05 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,264 posts, read 81,084,929 times
Reputation: 39472
Quote:
Originally Posted by Torn2pieces View Post
Notice he blames everything on her and the hormones...

Yet - never takes actions for his own insecurities...

OP - I'm sure you mean well... But wanting to smother someone, isn't healthy.... Let her contact you.

If it's meant for you 2 to be together, then it will happen. If not, then you'll know.. But obsessing over and over and over, is not healthy.

He lost all credibility with me at that point and I quit reading
 
Old 04-19-2012, 07:58 AM
 
Location: Cumberland Co., TN
17,205 posts, read 18,355,768 times
Reputation: 18447
Quote:
Originally Posted by Caltovegas View Post
Bottom line is get a DNA to make sure the kid is yours and go from there. Get used to the fact going forward the woman calls the shots and she is acting this way for a reason. If your in the US find out what the laws are per your state with child support because in the beginning it may not be an issue but years down the road it might slam you. Not to also mention in some states if the woman goes on welfare the father has to pay it back.

This is a serious matter and you don't want to get hit financially for a child who you later find out isn't yours and the courts don't want to hear anything...Just pay or go to jail, lose a license(s), garnishment, etc... I've seen it happen to others.. Thank the lawd I don't have any kids..
Which states?
 
Old 04-19-2012, 08:07 AM
 
Location: In my skin
8,384 posts, read 12,891,131 times
Reputation: 8309
I say you leave her alone. It would be ideal if she would let you be a part of the pregnancy with appointments and sonograms, but you can't force it. She doesn't want anything to do with you and that's that. Once the baby is born, it's a different ballgame. Prove paternity and establish visitation and child support. She can't stop you from being there for your child if you really want to be with him/her.
 
Old 04-19-2012, 08:11 AM
 
Location: Austin
773 posts, read 936,620 times
Reputation: 930
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares View Post
Which states?
I would assumed almost all of them. I know that in Texas, if a woman accepts state or federal aid during her pregnancy, the biological father of the child must reimburse, once he is determined. Same things goes for any aid that a woman receives post-pregnancy.

Many states are extremely gung-ho about collecting (Texas being one of them). That's why the OP needs to make absolutely sure that this is his child.
 
Old 04-19-2012, 09:43 AM
 
Location: Cumberland Co., TN
17,205 posts, read 18,355,768 times
Reputation: 18447
Quote:
Originally Posted by supernaut112 View Post
I would assumed almost all of them. I know that in Texas, if a woman accepts state or federal aid during her pregnancy, the biological father of the child must reimburse, once he is determined. Same things goes for any aid that a woman receives post-pregnancy.

Many states are extremely gung-ho about collecting (Texas being one of them). That's why the OP needs to make absolutely sure that this is his child.

Ive never heard of this. Can you post a link to this law in TX.
I know it is not true in TN. Or if it is it so obscure that no one knows about it.

I would like to read up on this.
 
Old 04-19-2012, 10:01 AM
 
Location: Austin
773 posts, read 936,620 times
Reputation: 930
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares View Post
Ive never heard of this. Can you post a link to this law in TX.
I know it is not true in TN. Or if it is it so obscure that no one knows about it.

I would like to read up on this.
It's somewhere in the (extremely vast) Texas Family Code. I'm a legal assistant/policy analyst, so I know this stuff pretty much by heart. I believe that there is information on the Texas Attorney General's website pertaining to this issue, however.
 
Old 04-19-2012, 10:42 AM
 
Location: Cumberland Co., TN
17,205 posts, read 18,355,768 times
Reputation: 18447
Quote:
Originally Posted by supernaut112 View Post
It's somewhere in the (extremely vast) Texas Family Code. I'm a legal assistant/policy analyst, so I know this stuff pretty much by heart. I believe that there is information on the Texas Attorney General's website pertaining to this issue, however.


This is what I found:
  • Quote:
    • To receive TANF benefits through the Texas Health and Human Services Commission, recipients must cooperate with the Office of the Attorney General’s efforts to identify the child(ren)’s noncustodial parent and collect child support.
      TANF recipients must assign to the State their right to child support collections. Payments collected in the case while the family receives TANF benefits are applied toward reimbursing the state and federal governments for TANF benefits received by the family. However, the family will receive as a “pass-through” the first $75 collected during any month that a current child support payment is made. When the family no longer receives TANF, all current support payments are sent to the custodial parent.
    This only applies if the father hasnt paid child support. Once payments start the state is reimbursed with cs payments that would go to the custodial parent except for $75. So basically it is a tool to make fathers pay CS, he is not making an additional payment to the state, the custodial parent that received benefits is actually paying back the money with the CS payments.
 
Old 04-19-2012, 10:47 AM
 
Location: Austin
773 posts, read 936,620 times
Reputation: 930
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares View Post
This only applies if the father hasnt paid child support. Once payments start the state is reimbursed with cs payments that would go to the custodial parent except for $75. So basically it is a tool to make fathers pay CS, he is not making an additional payment to the state, the custodial parent that received benefits is actually paying back the money with the CS payments.
Essentially, the money comes from the same person — the bio dad — and reimbursed to the government. In Texas, there is a huge problem with women who will claim not to "know" who their baby's dad is when they damn well do. This is particularly true when the bio dad doesn't have a job or when the TANF payout is larger than what they'd get from the bio dad.

The AG's office has a specific division within a division to deal with B.S. like this. It's a thankless job that I would never want.
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