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Old 04-19-2012, 10:58 AM
Location: Cumberland Co., TN
19,842 posts, read 20,303,959 times
Reputation: 20248


Originally Posted by supernaut112 View Post
Essentially, the money comes from the same person — the bio dad — and reimbursed to the government. In Texas, there is a huge problem with women who will claim not to "know" who their baby's dad is when they damn well do. This is particularly true when the bio dad doesn't have a job or when the TANF payout is larger than what they'd get from the bio dad.

The AG's office has a specific division within a division to deal with B.S. like this. It's a thankless job that I would never want.
Yes, it comes from the dad, but it is him paying his child support that he was not paying. The reimbursment comes out of that child support payment not in addition to it, so basically the mother is getting only $75 of the CS payment and the rest is going to the state. He should have been paying CS all along.

I think it is a good thing. The orginal statement about reimbursments just sounded to me like the poster was saying if a custodial parent received any assistance it had to be paid back by the non custodial parent. I know this isnt so in my state because my son's ex has received all sorts of assistance in addition to child support and her income. She actually went before the DA for fraud, but moved out of state for a day and 1/2 and they never pursued the case.

Old 04-19-2012, 11:00 AM
Location: southern california
55,150 posts, read 71,946,884 times
Reputation: 47290
talking to u is her business. but i hear u these strong instincts to take care of the child come from God. be patient keep trying.
Old 04-19-2012, 11:13 AM
300 posts, read 501,450 times
Reputation: 452
The important thing is that even if she doesn't want child support, she will be required to file for it if she goes on welfare and the payments will then go to the state. If there is any doubt about paternity I would also recommend a paternity test even if she doesn't file for child support. There are all kinds of stories about men who aren't the real dad being forced to make payments because they treated the child as their own and are the only "dad" that the child has known.
Old 04-19-2012, 11:17 AM
13,170 posts, read 15,951,482 times
Reputation: 10001
Originally Posted by huckleberry3911948 View Post
talking to u is her business. But i hear u these strong instincts to take care of the child come from god. Be patient keep trying.
Old 04-19-2012, 11:26 AM
Location: Cumberland Co., TN
19,842 posts, read 20,303,959 times
Reputation: 20248
Originally Posted by Huckleberry3911948 View Post
talking to u is her business. but i hear u these strong instincts to take care of the child come from God. be patient keep trying.
Thats yet to be seen, his "instincts" to take care of the child.
Old 05-08-2012, 04:53 PM
900 posts, read 1,436,004 times
Reputation: 480
Clearly she wants space. You have no choice but to give it to her. If you write anything , keep it brief and tell her you understand her need for space and respect it. Tell her you will let her contact you and that you will be there for her and the child. Keep it brief. If you do not feel you can stop trying to contact her , don't say this because you will break your word. In that case , say nothing.
Old 05-09-2012, 10:38 PM
479 posts, read 702,227 times
Reputation: 444
The way she's acting, I'll bet it's either not his kid...or she doesn't know who the dad is.
Old 05-09-2012, 11:21 PM
1,846 posts, read 2,620,109 times
Reputation: 2487
First of all, putting pressure on newly pregnant woman is never wise.
One thing you actually made some sense? Was her hormonal imbalance. This is no JOKE. Her hormone levels are going crazy and if this is her first pregnancy she may not even realize she is acting this way because of it.

I recall when I first got pregnant I was no where near knowing or understanding my hormonal shifts! I never got morning sickness or any of this I was just an emotional wreck! What she needed was understanding and love kind of like a get out of jail free card. The last thing she needed was an inquisition! While hind sight 20/20 you see this now, why would you do this to her?

2. Her family and friends are going to be in her corner, this is expected, she is going through a huge ordeal as of now and what she needs I support. The fact that you are adding uneeded stress to an already stressful issue? Not okay. As far as her father is concerned? You my friend are PREACHING to the choir! This man is her father, and this is not his first rodeo and has his own formative idea as to how a grown man ( which you are at 26) should behave in these situations.
You may be “concerned” now but this bears any little relevance to the damage this has already done to his little girl ( You will understand fully when your child is born) A fathers standpoint is always going to be negative especially if HE does not know what you are about and all he knows is what has been repeated to him by his baby girl, family and friends.

Your best bet? Is to go and speak to him alone and tell him about your honest intentions, meaning if his daughter should decide that your relationship is over that you will be a good father and take care of his grandchild.

You checked up on her because you did not trust that she would be faithful to you? Umm she is pregnant by you, thisis your child regardless if she cheats on you from here on out. Second ..the best possible piece of advice I can give you is this..Regardless of how long people have been married or together means very little on fidelity, if they are going to cheat? They will CHEAT! In front of you, behind your back and so forth!

Pot meet possible kettle. YOU stated you made mistakes.. I am guessing you cheated and are now regretting it and being suspicious of her. YOU are WRONG to take it out on her for mistakes you have committed.
She has nothing to do with your wrong.
You wonder why she has pulled back, shut down? Become depressed? Pregnancy is not being good to her?
I am going to go back into time when I found I was pregnant.
1. I was 22 I knew my life was going to change.
2. I had to turn down my scholarship into a sought after liberal arts program at Cal Poly.
3. I never wanted to be a mom yet I lover my now ex.
4. I had a great life and now I was living for 2
That was a lot to put on the shelf, now add my now ex cheating on me during this time? OMG! Devastating. I am now thinking I am screwed, I am going through hormonal hell and I am looking at being a single mom to a kid I never planned to have? Add insult to injury? The dad is coming down hard on me because he is so egocentric he is thinking I am going to cheat on him? WHAT the hell is wrong with you?

So on a couples night she received a calls and texts from concerned friends? Umm what is the issue? Of course they are worried about her, her current state and mental state, what part of this do you not understand? They love her, you did her wrong and you are PROJECTING your fears onto her!

Her sister? Seems to be playing the role sisters play!

Maybe you should stop projecting YOUR mistakes onto your g/f and her family and accept your part..They are behaving exactly they way they should and they have nothing to apologize for. It is you that has all the apologizing to do.
I am going to be nice and going to give you some advice.
1. You have a lot of apologizing to do
2. You have a lot of proving to do. Call, speak to her family, father, friends
3. Get off her of her butt, she needs rest and to get accustomed to being pregnant without you blowing up her phone with your bull.
4. You decide to be there for your child, because this little person was not made alone and deserves 2 parents regardless if they are together
5. If you do not? Get ready to support your child financially as well as try to be a key role in their life. THEY AT NO POINT IN YOUR ADVENTURE OF NON PROTECTED SEX state that they wanted to be born into this world..
Old 05-10-2012, 11:24 AM
44 posts, read 59,530 times
Reputation: 52
Originally Posted by demo13 View Post
and as i said i do admit that i made mistakes and i regret and i told her that million times ....
I'm SO late in to this thread, but....

Never regret any thing. At one point in time, it's exactly what you wanted to do. (never mind hindsight telling you if it's good or bad).
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