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Women, if you don't meet the needs of your husband...someone else will.
Women, you may honestly believe you are "tired" or whatever, but once you are in the act, it is awesome, it is a stress reliever, and a great way to connect to the man who loves you and is caring for you!
I wish she would realize that part of the duties of a wife are sexual. And before everyone starts freaking out on me, it's also the husband's marital duties to please the wife. Goes both ways.
Part of the agreement in a marriage is to be lovers, not just roommates.
It is a sure way to open the door for problems. Even if you are not likely to be a cheater, the distance created is emotional and will erode the relationship over time!
It is NOT all about her feelings. I am sorry you are feeling unwanted. She is on dangerous ground.
Did you miss the part where he mentioned they are having sex 2-3 times a week and has contemplated suicide because its not 7 days a week?
Women, if you don't meet the needs of your husband...someone else will.
Women, you may honestly believe you are "tired" or whatever, but once you are in the act, it is awesome, it is a stress reliever, and a great way to connect to the man who loves you and is caring for you!
I wish she would realize that part of the duties of a wife are sexual. And before everyone starts freaking out on me, it's also the husband's marital duties to please the wife. Goes both ways.
Part of the agreement in a marriage is to be lovers, not just roommates.
It is a sure way to open the door for problems. Even if you are not likely to be a cheater, the distance created is emotional and will erode the relationship over time!
It is NOT all about her feelings. I am sorry you are feeling unwanted. She is on dangerous ground.
But she is giving him sex 2-3 times a week. You don't think that is enough to fulfill her duties?
These are great ideas, but you need to be careful in how you approach this. If she thinks you're simply doing all this to get laid, you will not get laid. Nothing will slam her legs shut faster than making her feel manipulated. You should be doing these things to make her happy and make her feel better about herself. If you get to have more sex, it's a bonus. No pressure; no expectations.
I agree with this, too. I suggest both of them read "The Care and Feeding of Marriage" by Dr. Laura Schlessinger.
As one poster stated earlier, it feels more like it's done out of obligation - not love or genuine enjoyment.
Ok, I have read several more posts and I still stand by what I said earlier.
You MIGHT be a little self-absorbed, but she needs to love you and want you or the marriage commitment is compromised.
Did you miss the part where he mentioned they are having sex 2-3 times a week and has contemplated suicide because its not 7 days a week?
yep. caught that later, and as I told him, he is self-absorbed. BUT my points do not change regarding marital relations.
Everyone needs to realize sex is super important to glue the marriage together. Without it, without the DESIRE for it, the marriage changes into something else. No one wants to feel like they are unwanted by the one they married,
But she is giving him sex 2-3 times a week. You don't think that is enough to fulfill her duties?
I tell people who speed the same thing~ Just becasue you are going the speed limit does not mean you should stubbornly sit tight in your lane if people are passing you on the right. You have become slower traffic regardless of what the limit is.
If he is feeling unwanted and a lack of desire, then the amount of times mean nothing. What he wants from her is desire to love him and share that bond with him. What she needs to do is look at the man she married, remember he CHOSE her, and rekindle her passions. Heck, it's hard sometimes, yes, but again, it's part of a marriage. If she did it just twice, but her heart was truly in it, then that might make the difference for him. Ya know?
Buy her a gym membership of some kind and give her the gift of 2 evenings a week to work out. Evenings you stay home with the kid and do laundry or whatever. If you don't know what needs doing, ask for a list.
Don't come home from work and zone out in front of the TV. Do whatever she is doing. When she sits down you can too. This is life with kids and FT jobs to cope with. Another huge timesaver is to do all the cooking together on the weekend. Then all you have to do is throw something in the microwave for dinner and lunches are already made.
Tell her truthfully why you are doing this. You want her to feel and look better so she will want more sex.
My apologies as I know I'm not going to be answering everyone's questions here. In case anyone is wondering, our frequency is about 2-3 times a week. This week, nothing has taken place because of work and personal obligations. This makes me feel even more edgy and hopeless.
I have tried some of the things suggested above. I agree that you can't be coming across as if the gestures are all about sex. Our relationship is fine otherwise; there is a good friendship and we agree on the other areas that trip up a lot of couples. At times, I have contemplated couples counseling, an affair, divorce, suicide.
We each have lost about 45 lbs in the last year and look great! She is shy about her body; I'm not.
I guess I'm also sensitive because I'll be 40 next year and three people close to our family have died in the last three months. Life is short. I want to have fun, and truly don't know how much more I can invest into a relationship with someone whom I perceive as intentionally denying me pleasure.
You come off as someone ripe for cheating.
I hope for the sake of your family you'll put yourself on a better path.
Recommit yourself to your marriage, because right now you are making all kinds of excuses for yourself to justify cheating in the near future.
YOU NEED PROFESSIONAL INTERVENTION and a real wake up call about what it really means to be married.
I think you misinterpreted what I wrote. I like the spontaneous nature of sex, don't want it to become like a daily task I'm obligated to fulfill.
Why are "daily" and "spontaneous" incompatible? (Assuming no kids. Women need to get cut major slack for dealing with pregnancy (hormonal changes!) and kids, unless there's money for a paid caregiver.)
yep. caught that later, and as I told him, he is self-absorbed. BUT my points do not change regarding marital relations.
Everyone needs to realize sex is super important to glue the marriage together. Without it, without the DESIRE for it, the marriage changes into something else. No one wants to feel like they are unwanted by the one they married,
She is having sex with him "2-3 times a week". If he is feeling unwanted, that's on him - his issue. She doesn't appear to be ignoring him
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(Assuming no kids. Women need to get cut major slack for dealing with pregnancy (hormonal changes!) and kids, unless there's money for a paid caregiver.)
