hubby's BFF? (married, woman, love, husband)

[surfergirl2007]

Hello. I'm new here. Just wondering if I should have a problem with this. My dh and I have been married almost 4 years. He used to be gay before we got married and his best friend of 16 years is a female. I worry a lot about his closeness to her because she is younger and has a good figure. I'm in my 50's and have a serious weight problem. We have recently moved to a new city half way across the country. Since we have moved, they have been e-mailing each other back and forth almost daily--some are LONG emails. Nothing of a sexual nature (he allows me to read them), but still makes me uncomfortable. When we lived in the same town, this woman and her husband were friends of course, but since we've moved, it's like they can't go a day or two without email communication. Should I be worried?

[Torn2pieces]

Well he was best friends with her before you - I don't see him giving that up.

Since you live so far away and their relationship is kept between emails, I personally wouldn't worry much about it - Considering he lets you read them.

If he was to become secretive, then I would worry some.

[Mayor_McCheese]

When he starts hiding his emails is the time to worry. Quit being so paranoid. After all he was once gay. Worry more about his male friends.

[LauraPetrie]

Originally Posted by surfergirl2007

Hello. I'm new here. Just wondering if I should have a problem with this. My dh and I have been married almost 4 years. He used to be gay before we got married and his best friend of 16 years is a female. I worry a lot about his closeness to her because she is younger and has a good figure. I'm in my 50's and have a serious weight problem. We have recently moved to a new city half way across the country. Since we have moved, they have been e-mailing each other back and forth almost daily--some are LONG emails. Nothing of a sexual nature (he allows me to read them), but still makes me uncomfortable. When we lived in the same town, this woman and her husband were friends of course, but since we've moved, it's like they can't go a day or two without email communication. Should I be worried?

I agree with Torn2Pieces. Unless he isnt hiding anything from you or being secretive, I dont see why you need to worry. Why dont you talk it out with him, I mean, just tell him you have been feeling uncomfortable with the whole situation, maybe you will feel better once you have talked over everything with him .

[dixierox]

I agree with all the above. It's sounds more like an insecurity within you. He's secure with the fact they are just friends...He has no secrets and allows you to read the emails. Don't let this get to you. Be confident in yourself, that's a very attractive quality for anyone.

[LauraPetrie]

^^^ Right. You need to feel good about yourself. If you have insecurities about yourself, you will always have insecurities about your relationship . You say he has been friends with this girl for 16 yrs. Sounds good enough to be in touch everyday. Now if he made a new friend and couldnt keep off her, that would have been something to worry about. You may be older and everything, but your husband is with you because he loves you for what you are. You may have a lot of other qualities in you that she doesnt , and your husband adores you for that. Dont let your insecurities come in the way of your relationship. Be confident with yourself and you should be able to work it out . Good luck Surfergal

[lastra]

Originally Posted by Torn2pieces

Well he was best friends with her before you - I don't see him giving that up.

Since you live so far away and their relationship is kept between emails, I personally wouldn't worry much about it - Considering he lets you read them.

If he was to become secretive, then I would worry some.

I agree with this. However, I would just add something. If that bothers you ( which would bother me personally ) talk to him and tell him how you fell.

[MTbound]

I would be much more concerned about the fact that he "used to be gay".

[surfergirl2007]

Originally Posted by MTbound

I would be much more concerned about the fact that he "used to be gay".

I really don't worry so much about that. You see, he is saved and is very active in church. He knows he can't be gay and be accepted at church. He was never, ever happy being gay and struggled for years and years to overcome it. Now that he finally has, I really don't think he'll ever go back to that lifestyle.

[surfergirl2007]

I appreciate all your replies. Well, I did tell him how I feel and I didn't even mean to. After we'd "been together" one night, he said, "I have to go email BFF and tell her what time a TV show is on that she likes." I didn't mean to, but I really lost it! I was screaming and crying and told him that I am good enough to have sex with, but he wants to spend all the rest of his time on the computer emailing BFF. He has cut back somewhat on the emails to her but I feel that it is only because I got so angry with him and that it is only a matter of time before he sneaks behind my back. I know my life would be so much happier if I didn't have to worry about him and this woman. I'm so glad she lives a thousand miles away. But my question to everyone, especially the guys is this...do you think he would harbor any long term resentment towards me if I just told him that I want him to end his friendship with her?