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Old 04-20-2012, 07:20 AM
 
Location: San Antonio, Texas
4,244 posts, read 6,373,194 times
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Ladies, how important is it that a man you're interested in has ambition? What would you define as ambition? I'm currently in a bit of a dead-end job but am finding it difficult to get my butt moving to graduate school & it's affecting my self-esteem a bit, I think. It makes me feel like "Why would a girl want to date me when I'm making little money & not using it for graduate school"?
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Old 04-20-2012, 07:23 AM
 
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I am extremely ambitious and expect my man to be equally as ambitious. I have ended relationships because of a lack of motivation. It is definitely high on my priority list, right under being intelligent.
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Old 04-20-2012, 07:29 AM
 
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I don't care so much about ambition as much as passion.

You need to have a passion for something in your life, whether it is your job or hobby or what-have-you.

I'm not very ambitious, I'd rather stop and smell the roses (a LOT). I don't equate it with lazy though, there is just nothing in this life I feel like I HAVE to pursue or that I'm dying to pursue.

If there is something I want to do or attain however, I will give it 100%.
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Old 04-20-2012, 07:39 AM
 
Location: Hartford CT
1,789 posts, read 1,924,165 times
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Not saying ambition isn't important, but I believe for most women, they just don't want to get the impression that you are lazy. And I believe you are a pretty young guy, if any woman expects you to be having an awesome job with a phat salary, you probably don't want her anyway.
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Old 04-20-2012, 07:44 AM
 
Location: NW Indiana
39,357 posts, read 14,429,150 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by justthe6ofus View Post
I don't care so much about ambition as much as passion.

You need to have a passion for something in your life, whether it is your job or hobby or what-have-you.

I'm not very ambitious, I'd rather stop and smell the roses (a LOT). I don't equate it with lazy though, there is just nothing in this life I feel like I HAVE to pursue or that I'm dying to pursue.

If there is something I want to do or attain however, I will give it 100%.
I'm with you on the bolded part, justthe6. I don't expect my man to aspire to achieve the top rung on the corporate ladder. I do want him to be passionate about something, whether it's his job or hobby or volunteer work. I'd like him to be motivated enough to make a comfortable living. Nothing extravagant; just not someone living paycheck to paycheck and in debt up to his eyeballs. I couldn't care less about social status, so would not discount a man simply because he has no desire to be king of the hill.

Soviet, if I remember correctly, you're very young (by my standards, anyway! ), so I don't think it's a big deal that you're not yet motivated to go to graduate school. Cut yourself some slack. You may feel differently a year from now.


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Old 04-20-2012, 07:44 AM
 
Location: Texas
42,203 posts, read 49,753,916 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Raptor76 View Post
Not saying ambition isn't important, but I believe for most women, they just don't want to get the impression that you are lazy.
I agree.

I am VERY ambitious (well, I was, anyway...goal achieved). And I expect the same of my partner because I don't know how to relate to or respect people who are not similarly wired.

But I would find a man who may not have a bunch of career ambition but a lot of motivation to take care of the house acceptable, as well. Like he was really into fixing the place up, keeping it bad-ass clean, cooking up fantastic meals, being an awesome dad...like it was a passion for him and he actually did it. He took it seriously and made it his job to make our lives awesome.

Problem is that few people are actually ambitious in either arena (home or work).
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Old 04-20-2012, 07:46 AM
 
Location: Texas
42,203 posts, read 49,753,916 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PJSinger View Post
I'm with you on the bolded part, justthe6. I don't expect my man to aspire to achieve the top rung on the corporate ladder. I do want him to be passionate about something, whether it's his job or hobby or volunteer work. I'd like him to be motivated enough to make a comfortable living. Nothing extravagant; just not someone living paycheck to paycheck and in debt up to his eyeballs. I couldn't care less about social status, so would not discount a man simply because he has no desire to be king of the hill.


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My friend's husband is passionate about gaming. He comes home from work and gets on his bad-ass computer and games into the night. He is 40 years old and this is his passion.

I find that insanely UN-sexy and I don't count that as ambition. I have a friend who is passionate about live action role playing.

I am sorry...it's grossing me out just thinking about having sex with people like these.
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Old 04-20-2012, 07:52 AM
 
9,415 posts, read 11,274,306 times
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Ambition to me equates with self absorbed, keeping up with the Jones', arrogant and money-driven. None of these traits are attractive to me. I prefer a man who is more philosophical about life, who takes time to just be, someone who isn't caught up with the society-approved working yourself to death mentality.

Work is work, it's a way to make money to do the things you love doing whether it's traveling or a hobby or philanthropic work. There is more to life than striving for status.
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Old 04-20-2012, 07:54 AM
 
28,906 posts, read 45,202,743 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4 View Post
My friend's husband is passionate about gaming. He comes home from work and gets on his bad-ass computer and games into the night. He is 40 years old and this is his passion.

I find that insanely UN-sexy and I don't count that as ambition. I have a friend who is passionate about live action role playing.

I am sorry...it's grossing me out just thinking about having sex with people like these.
Perhaps we should redefine. Passion for something besides one's own entertainment. Here's the thing. I like my favorite college football team. Thirteen saturdays a year, I'm either at the stadium or in front the television. But my den is not festooned with team photos and memorabilia and I rarely discuss football outside of football season. But I know grown men who organize their entire life, energy, and intellect over the performance of a handful of 19- to 22-year-old boys on a gridiron.

To me, passion is more about living one's life as fully as possible, and engaging the world with enthusiasm. And that is certainly not hurrying home for another marathon session of World of Warcraft. That isn't life. That's detachment from life.
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Old 04-20-2012, 07:54 AM
 
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The worst is people who b*tch and moan constantly about their jobs and don't do anything to fix it. It's okay if you're content working at McDonalds making fries, just be the best dam* fry maker you can be.
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