Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Everytime I've done something "romantic" the tide shifted in a relationship from "going well" to "I think we should stop seeing each other".
All we really have to go on in life is personal life experiences, and mine have shown me NOT to buy flowers, do NOT plan dates, do NOT spend a lot of money and show effort in the date.
If I keep doing the same things I can only expect the same results. Men who treat women with less importance and show less effort and less romanticism seem to have better success.
Everytime I've done something "romantic" the tide shifted in a relationship from "going well" to "I think we should stop seeing each other".
All we really have to go on in life is personal life experiences, and mine have shown me NOT to buy flowers, do NOT plan dates, do NOT spend a lot of money and show effort in the date.
If I keep doing the same things I can only expect the same results. Men who treat women with less importance and show less effort and less romanticism seem to have better success.
I don't need a whole lot of the really sappy kind you see on Lifetime, although I do like it at times. A little goes a long way.
However, the other type of romance is more just that feeling of togetherness and intimacy that comes from being with someone who you genuinely want to be with and vice versa, and that doesn't require sappy sayings and stuff, it can be anything - watching TV, snowboarding, whatever. THAT I can take a lot of.
Right, it's not necessarily flowers and candy, it's the idea that he knows you and he gets you and he's been paying attention.
What the OP is describing sounds more to me like a narcisist, and not an individual who lacks a skill to be romantic.
I find romance to be a tough thing to nail down, as it can mean different things to different people. At it's core, I think you have to have a sensitivity and desire to do things for your SO which are sensitive to, and intended to heighten their positive emotions.
Some people love romance expressed through candle lit dinners, or sunset walks on the beach. Others like romantic expressions which are smaller. Early in our initial dating, my wife found it very romantic that I bought her a nice travel mug for Christmas. To her, that was romantic not because of what it was, but because I had paid attention to her, as she had told me along the way that she always wanted a really nice one, and that I remembered that and bought her a thoughtful gift instead of trying to impress her early on with something too expensive, or too fancy for our stage of dating.
I dunno. If someone has no sensitivity or desire to enhance the emotions and feelings of their SO, it would lead me to believe they are only in the relationship for themselves... which would make me wonder if they are a narcisist. You don't have to be a moonlit walk on the beach type of person to be sensitive to your SO.
For some reason, the romantic and sappy stuff just reminds me of high school and people who're influenced by movies too much. There's no fairy tales in reality.
For some reason, the romantic and sappy stuff just reminds me of high school and people who're influenced by movies too much. There's no fairy tales in reality.
There aren't fairy tales, but there are a lot of stories of couples that truly "get" and respect each other, and are extremely compatible. Sometimes you have to work at it to keep the "magic" alive, and it's never the same once that initial euphoria wears off, but don't be jaded about it, either.
Being romantic is more of a drawback in todays dating world more than anything else, especialy when talking about men. I write poetry for example, its been my hobby since I was a young boy, but I rarely mention it when dating, because its a turn off.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,606 posts, read 55,857,609 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by misiu007
Being romantic is more of a drawback in todays dating world more than anything else, especialy when talking about men. I write poetry for example, its been my hobby since I was a young boy, but I rarely mention it when dating, because its a turn off.
Why is it a turn off? Maybe you're dating the wrong kind of women.
Do you think women like this are a lot rarer? I mean I've noticed some women who similarly aren't very romantic, hate sappiness, and like to sleep around and are swingers. They tend not to be as 'girly' as a rule as well.
I am not romantic and hate sappiness, but do not sleep around and am not a swinger.
Same for my other half.
I suppose that throws yet another reality bomb into the atmosphere of the world of Stereotypia.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.