Opinions Needed (dating, girlfriend, girl, too young)
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I'm shannen... I'm currently dating this guy. He just got out of a relationship with his ex gf roughly 2 months ago.. maybe about a month and a half. The ex girlfriend is pregnant with his kid which i had just found out as of this morning... im not sure if i should stay with him and let him fall back on me... or if i should back out now and find someone else.. I have liked this guy for quite a while and she hates me... we have never met never saw each other, and she is making it very difficult to deal with. I'm trying as much as i can to make peace with her considering she is 8 1/2 weeks pregnant and im dating the father of her child. We are quite young.. im 18 and he is 20 and his ex is 17.
I have currently made a list of the pros and cons to being in the relationship. I don't want to stay with him and then have to back out later when the baby comes along. I don't want him to get all upset over it and i know if i wait longer it will hurt him more. I know i can handle the pressure and i know i want to be with him, my friends say that i have my whole life ahead of me , why mess it up now?
Shannen - Your friends are right, in my opinion. You are too young to get tied up in this. The guy you are dating is going to have his hands full (if he is a real man), standing up and paying support for his child once the child is born. He will also be spending time with the child (hopefully) and this will entail him being around the mother, most likely.
Don't worry about him getting upset and "hurting more" if you say you no longer want to date him. You have to think about yourself and your life. At 18, you don't need to be dealing with all that will be coming down the road with this guy and his ex-girlfriend and his child.
Live your life for yourself - don't worry about this guy you are dating. You care for him and it will hurt, but in the long run, you will be better off by stopping the dating now.....At least that's my opinion....
Windchimes speaks the truth Shannen, and so do your friends. I think windchimes could write a book on relationship advice; she's on top of her game like very few counselors you could ever pay for. You are barely into this relationship and you do have your whole life ahead of you. I have to question this guy's standards if he gets a girl pregnant, and then two months later is already dating someone else. You really can't blame the girl for being mad at you, even if her anger should be directed at him. To her, you are representing a wedge between her, her future child, and her child's father. Do yourself a favor and back away gently. If you don't, in my opinion, you will be setting yourself up for a long road of heartbreak. I wish you the best of luck.
Synopsis: thank you i understand the above what you have said as well as windchimes. he didnt know she was pregnant she never brought it up until last week... me and him have been dating about 3 weeks and when she found out we were dating she came up with this pregnancy thing so it made it seem like she was lying to him to make us break up!
Synopsis: thank you i understand the above what you have said as well as windchimes. he didnt know she was pregnant she never brought it up until last week... me and him have been dating about 3 weeks and when she found out we were dating she came up with this pregnancy thing so it made it seem like she was lying to him to make us break up!
Sounds like a good lie to break you all up.
I agree with the other posters that this guy is going to have his hands full and no time for you.
Only you can make the decision on staying or going. I would stick around and make sure she's pregnant before breaking it off though.
oh i know she is pregnant... this whole thing started 3 weeks ago, all 3 of us have been waiting for today and the doctors appointment was at 10 am .. and she is 8 1/2 weeks pregnant...
Shannen, You've only been dating for a very short time. I'll echo the same sentiment as the previous posters... I think you should move on and find someone else. This young man, nor you, nor his ex have any idea of what the demands of a newborn life will be. He and they will have many emotional and very important life lessons to learn, decide, and debate. There's no reason for you to anchor yourself to this ship. You have your entire life ahead and completely unwritten.
oh i know she is pregnant... this whole thing started 3 weeks ago, all 3 of us have been waiting for today and the doctors appointment was at 10 am .. and she is 8 1/2 weeks pregnant...
I think the young man may also wish to have a paternity test after the child is born to ensure it is his. You never know.
Run girl run! That guy is going to be trouble for years. Your friends are right.
You're young. Go out in the world and get an education. Travel. Work. Meet people. You have lots of years ahead of you. Have some fun. Time is on your side.
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