News, Older women and younger men: Can it Work? (date, marriage, cheated)

[Ladywithafan]

Went out with my younger man (23) (46, me) to watch the sunset last night. He brought up the "what do you want out of this relationship question" and very nicely, I must say. I told him that god puts people in your life when you need them. Because of the vast age difference here, I'm not looking to get married or have children with him...already accomplished that with my xhusband....I told him I didn't want to hurt him as he feels the same way...I told him we should just enjoy each other and have fun together and leave it at that for now.

He's introduced me to his friends already (some of who I already know due to the circles I run in), I've introduced him to my friends as well. My girls know what I"m up to and see no problems with it...I know he's been talking about me to his friends as each time I meet one, they say, I've heard so much about you....what an ego booster for me!

So anyhow, I did tell him I'm not sleeping around and I just don't want to catch anything in this day and age...he agrees, to me that's way worse than getting my feelings hurt...

He can hold a conversation outside of bed and I do believe he can update my world with his hobbies and interests...big fisher, boater, florida born & bred man. I'm just wanting to enrich my world by bringing my inner child back in, which I think he can give to me...I've lost four pounds & that's a bonus. He's kind & considerate and just seems to want to please me...way different than my xboyfriend of the past eight years...no comparison...the youngster wins hands down. Even fed me ice cream in bed while watching a movie last night, what more can one ask for!

[Hasdrubal]

Don't get me wrong, but I doubt most of this relationships work (I am not talking about particular forum members, just a general thing). When a woman hits her mid-forties, if she's single, she kinda wants to get back to her good old days, and feel young again. This also has to do with her approaching menopause. So she seeks guys in their 20's. Most of the guys who dig (no pun intended) mature women, they do it for the sake of that cougar/MILF fantasy, so they usually are for one night stands and not long-term relationships. Of course, there are exceptions.

[Ladywithafan]

Originally Posted by Hasdrubal

Don't get me wrong, but I doubt most of this relationships work (I am not talking about particular forum members, just a general thing). When a woman hits her mid-forties, if she's single, she kinda wants to get back to her good old days, and feel young again. This also has to do with her approaching menopause. So she seeks guys in their 20's. Most of the guys who dig (no pun intended) mature women, they do it for the sake of that cougar/MILF fantasy, so they usually are for one night stands and not long-term relationships. Of course, there are exceptions.

Agreed and my fantasy (at 46 looking mid 30's) has been more reality in the past two weeks than my xboyfriend (41 this month) in a year....not too bad for make believe!

[miu]

Originally Posted by Hasdrubal

Don't get me wrong, but I doubt most of this relationships work (I am not talking about particular forum members, just a general thing). When a woman hits her mid-forties, if she's single, she kinda wants to get back to her good old days, and feel young again. This also has to do with her approaching menopause. So she seeks guys in their 20's. Most of the guys who dig (no pun intended) mature women, they do it for the sake of that cougar/MILF fantasy, so they usually are for one night stands and not long-term relationships. Of course, there are exceptions.

But that could be describing any single person, young or old, female or male.

Regardless of if someone is dating another the same age, or with a big age difference, where they go to meet their dates and depending on their approach and attitude will affect how their relationship develops.

I've seen some situations where it was older women and younger men. They met online as gamers. So I guess that the guys were hitting on whatever female gamers they came across. If the female gamer was good and had great fighting skills, then the guys would be extra impressed and their attitude more respectful. Then they would become friends and more. And it was less about MILF fantasies and a temporary hookup.

But sure, if any single person wants to dress up and send out vibes that they want to flirt and have a fling, there will always be plenty of other people out there that will take them up on the offer. For some reason, men especially are into sampling different types of women, as if it were some exotic buffet and each type of woman was drastically different from some other category of women. As a woman, I don't objectify or stereotype men by age or race. I find that the older a person is, they are more relaxed and comfortable about their bodies. For the overall experience, I prefer an educated intellectual man. Then I watch out for details like possible male chauvinistic attitudes or religious ones, and I avoid the extremists.

[SifuPhil]

Originally Posted by miu

Then I watch out for details like possible male chauvinistic attitudes or religious ones, and I avoid the extremists.

My scriptures tell me that only a woman would say something like that...

[miu]

I'm just trying to avoid possible conflicts... lol

[SifuPhil]

Originally Posted by miu

I'm just trying to avoid possible conflicts... lol

All of life is conflicts.

Just look at this forum...

But yes - it's nice to minimize them in one's personal life.

[miu]

Originally Posted by SifuPhil

All of life is conflicts.

Just look at this forum...

Yeah... just look in the 2008 Presidential Election subforum in Politics and Other Controveries!

[SifuPhil]

Originally Posted by miu

Yeah... just look in the 2008 Presidential Election subforum in Politics and Other Controveries!

Ewww...I look at politics like I'd look at a squashed bug - a little sympathy and a lot of disgust. Sorry - I'm totally apolitical, but I get your drift.

[ananke]

Originally Posted by Tone509

We might not agree on the porn topic in another thread, miu, but we do have something in common as my lady is 18 years older than me.

We've been together, my boyfriend and I, for 3 years, we've never been so happy, despite the odds and our lack of money. He's 25 years younger than me and we don't feel the age gap at all..His family is adorable and my children love him too. We plan to get married next year I look a lot younger, but that's not the point, he adores me for who I am (his words) not for what I look like.
I've been married twice before and had other long term relationships, but never felt so much love, kindness and beauty before as I have from him.