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Location: Moose Jaw, in between the Moose's butt and nose.
5,152 posts, read 8,524,412 times
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Saying that we have no long term future, using this (even though the 1st reason she gave, while I thought the ending was still pending, was even worse) as her excuse:
she wants's someone, more equal to her, (more equal to me, meaning , someone who owns a home, and has similar assets and values).
Even though, she said, she's in her late 50's, that she never hit it off so good with someone, after 6 weeks, like she did me, just about 3 weeks ago. That includes her 2 ex husbands.
Am I right to think, considering the above sentence, that's very shallow, or is that a fair thing to say?
If it's fair, well, she knew about my income (she makes twice as much as I do, but she's worked as an critical care nurse for 30 years, so that's almost to be expected) and me living in a small apartment, when we 1st started dating, why didn't she say so then?
Making a decision, based on someone owning a home, is shallow, IMO.
What if she lived in NYC or San Francisco?
I'm just throwing this out there, since, I try to be at least friendly with those that don't work out in dating, however, I really try to have friends that look at one's soul (within reason) and I can't imagine just about all my other friends, dumping someone with that much chemistry, just based on possesions. That's why I don't think I want to be freindly with her, at least right now. She didn't show much character here (not the break up itself, but the reasons given).
Last edited by beenhereandthere; 04-26-2012 at 06:15 PM..
Saying that we have no long term future, using this (even though the 1st reason she gave, while I thought the ending was still pending, was even worse) as her excuse:
she wants's someone, more equal to her, (more equal to me, meaning , someone who owns a home, and has similar assets and values).
Even though, she said, she's in her late 50's, that she never hit it off so good with someone, after 6 weeks, like she did me, just about 3 weeks ago. That includes her 2 ex husbands.
Am I right to think, considering the above paragraph, that's very shallow, or is that a fair thing to say?
If it's fair, well, she knew about my income (she makes twice as much as I do, but she's worked as an critical care nurse for 30 years, so that's almost to be expected) and me living in a small apartment, when we 1st started dating, why didn't she say so then?
Making a decision, based on someone owning a home, is shallow, IMO.
What if she lived in NYC or San Francisco?
You seem to have assumed she rejected you because you don't own a home, but I'm not so sure that's it at all.
It could just be after a few dates she realized her interest has waned.
It happens. You aren't going to have chemistry with everyone you date. That's what dating is for - to figure these things out.
she wants's someone, more equal to her, (more equal to me, meaning , someone who owns a home, and has similar assets and values).
Quote:
Originally Posted by beenhereandthere
2 ex husbands.
You dodged a bullet.
That kind of woman is incapable of sustaining a long-term relationship except under circumstances of fairly extreme luck. If you really liked her, you dodged a bullet with it happening now rather than several years down the line with you all the more miserable.
Fair, unfair, whatever, you should have been done seeing this girl 2-3 weeks before the 6 week mark where it ended for the sake of your mental health when you had the first inkling of her history of and attitude toward relationships.
edit: as above, also possible she just wasn't feeling it, wanted an excuse to end it rather than 'just not working,' and is either sufficiently socially inept not to realize how bad dumping a guy for that stated reason looks or socially distant [aka no mutual friends or acquaintances] enough not to get any blowback from it.
You said there was another reason, which was worse. What was the other reason?
Also, two months isn't a whole lot of time, where dating is concerned. It's possible to get along with someone very well in the short-term, even though the long-term potential isn't there. Whether it's "shallow" is neither here nor there. Accept that what you have to offer is not what she's looking for, and move on.
I would want someone with comparable money earning potential as me so we can build a better future together, but I'm only 26. I think that when I get to my 50s, none of that stuff would matter, and I would only want a good and interesting man with integrity and good values then.
Location: Moose Jaw, in between the Moose's butt and nose.
5,152 posts, read 8,524,412 times
Reputation: 2038
Quote:
Originally Posted by swgirl926
You said there was another reason, which was worse. What was the other reason?
Also, two months isn't a whole lot of time, where dating is concerned. It's possible to get along with someone very well in the short-term, even though the long-term potential isn't there. Whether it's "shallow" is neither here nor there. Accept that what you have to offer is not what she's looking for, and move on.
How old are you, if you don't mind me asking?
She at 1st said, it was since I wasnt an avid cyclist and she was. However, I never said no towards that and said I'd be willng to do it anytime, at least casually, with the hopes of doing it seriously, like she did.
48 me, 58 her.
I think if you have an excellent start with someone, that should speak volumes, because it could change one's mind on what is really important in their mind, to find that long term happiness and someone special.
Last edited by beenhereandthere; 04-26-2012 at 06:17 PM..
She mentioned two ex-husbands that says something. Did they break or was it because of death? Either way she doesn't look like a promising prospect. Something else to consider is if she is going through that menopause thing.
As for the asset thing everyday people have some great assets and the next day it's all gone for whatever reason.. I can understand assets should be a consideration but not a major one when considering a relationship.. One serious health issue and all could be gone then what?
Maybe she felt you two hit it off at first, but after getting to know you better, she decided it wasn't a good match. It could be for any number of reasons. It sounds like she's uncomfortable telling you the real reason. I think "it's not working out for me" should be enough of a reason, one shouldn't have to go into detail, like providing a checklist, or something. (Would you really want that, anyway?) 2 months isn't much time invested, so move on. It's too bad if you pinned your hopes on her, but for whatever reason, she's no longer interested, that much is clear.
I would want someone with comparable money earning potential as me so we can build a better future together, but I'm only 26. I think that when I get to my 50s, none of that stuff would matter, and I would only want a good and interesting man with integrity and good values then.
I think it would be more important at 50. At this point in ones live you cant afford to lose what assests you have. I think its only smart to realize you need to be with someone with more equal financial stability as yourself.
In reality that initial attraction fades somewhat. We are often blinded to or fooled by behaviors and character in the early stages of a relationship. What might be fun or not important for dating becomes important when your looking at till death do us part. given she has two marriages under her belt she is probably more cautious.
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