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Unread 04-27-2012, 02:15 AM
 
Location: The Front Porch
12,219 posts, read 6,574,405 times
Reputation: 20427
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ulysses61 View Post
First of all, watching porn is not considered a form of cheating, at least among adults with an IQ above 90 and an age above 12.

Almost everyone of every gender looks at porn. And anyone who considers it "adultery" has massive, massive insecurity issues.

What is the big deal with porn? There is no way that is cheating on your spouse unless of course you are the star of the show and the spouse finds out while watching the show. Anyone who thinks porn is cheating needs to seek serious therapy for their major insecurities about their relationship. Personally I would not be with anyone who was that insecure, blech..........what a pain in the behind to have to deal with something so trivial.
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Unread 04-27-2012, 04:33 AM
 
Location: TX
5,524 posts, read 1,706,434 times
Reputation: 2398
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Siobhan View Post
I have married friends who say that if their spouse watches porn, it is a form of cheating. How is that? There is no emotional connection. There is no physical connection. All it happens to be is a visual and/or aural stimulation.

Is it considered a form of cheating to you? Why?
You kind of answered your own question. I'll get into that in just a sec. But typically, any time you secretly do something you know your SO would not approve of, it's a form of betrayal. With or without the label "cheating", the degree to which your SO cares about you betraying him/her in the way you've chosen is what makes it wrong/okay, as far as the relationship itself is concerned.

Now, you say "There is no emotional connection". Is it not true that if a man visits a prostitute without his wife's consent, she can call that cheating, even though presumably there is no emotional connection?

But then you say "There is no physical connection". Is it the physical connection that makes it cheating? Do we accuse rape victims of cheating on their spouses?

Something to do with the will to have sex with another, I should think. And it's very arguable that a man masturbating to pornography doesn't (at least for that moment) have the will to have sex with the woman whose image he's masturbating to...
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Unread 04-27-2012, 05:55 AM
 
2,345 posts, read 1,087,896 times
Reputation: 1928
It's not. Only people with low self esteem and other issues say that.
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Unread 04-27-2012, 05:57 AM
 
Location: NC
3,770 posts, read 1,855,915 times
Reputation: 3368
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kin Atoms View Post
If watching porn bends values and morality beyond what one partner desires to engage in, it is a form of seduction to an ideal, albeit unrealized lifestyle. When it is consuming to the point that it impairs other functional activities for the individual or their partner, it is intrusive. Adultery or cheating is putting something or someone else first. Within this framework, a full-time job may be considered adulterous or outside hobbies may be considered cheating. A bit of perspective relative to the couple's expectations may fit a mutually agreed context, but beyond this, it is literally anyone's guess what others may call adultery or infidelity.
Good post....

I suspect that someone who watches porn doesn't expect the pizza delivery girl to come in and flirt with him, lol...
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Unread 04-27-2012, 06:31 AM
 
Location: Lubbock, Tx
4,200 posts, read 982,439 times
Reputation: 4914
Adultery is the actually physical act of sex. Neither porn, nor romance novels or other forms of entertainment, and not even having "emotional" adultery with afriend of the opposite sex is adultery. Some of these things might be detrimental to a marriage, but don't actauly qualify as adultery.
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Unread 04-27-2012, 09:22 AM
 
2,943 posts, read 1,714,070 times
Reputation: 3722
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Siobhan View Post
I have married friends who say that if their spouse watches porn, it is a form of cheating. How is that? There is no emotional connection. There is no physical connection. All it happens to be is a visual and/or aural stimulation.

Is it considered a form of cheating to you? Why?
You are deceiving yourself. If men couldn't make an emotional connection with a woman in this setting, how come so many men wind up leaving their wives and children for some "thing" they saw and thought to start up on the internet with another woman? Maybe at first it was just texts and emails, then the pair upgrades to sending pictures. Supposedly there is just looking and talking and then...in no time the man has bolted, left his home to go be with this woman. There is TOO an emotional connection; the guilty conscience just won't acknowledge it.
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Unread 04-27-2012, 09:32 AM
 
Location: where people are either too stupid to leave or too stuck to move
3,999 posts, read 2,068,051 times
Reputation: 3419
Quote:
Originally Posted by supernaut112 View Post
Yup. As long as it's good porn, with the sound turned off. Whoever writes the dialogue for that stuff should be summarily shot.
i know right.. some of it is so annoying.. like going over board with the moaning and the TALKING every 5 secs..amateur is a bit better.
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Unread 04-27-2012, 09:39 AM
 
Location: VA -> CO -> VA again
4,783 posts, read 2,443,376 times
Reputation: 8228
I really don't care if someone I'm with watches it. Big deal. As long as he prefers ME when I'm available, then what's the problem? I can't help but think that anyone who has a problem with it is insecure. Guys (and girls) watch porn to fill a basic need. Doesn't mean they wish their partner had big fake DDD boobs or that they want to do any of the things they see in porn. Sometimes I read romance novels. Doesn't mean I actually want to run away with some Fabio type guy.
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Unread 04-27-2012, 09:48 AM
 
4,933 posts, read 2,128,036 times
Reputation: 5142
Watching porn IS NOT CHEATING. Ive been accused of cheating before, because I glanced over at some attractive females, while with my SO. That wasnt cheating either, just her insecurity.
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Unread 04-27-2012, 09:51 AM
 
Location: Texas
26,111 posts, read 19,303,903 times
Reputation: 29697
Someone really needs to explain to me how looking at porn makes you a cheater or a scum bag, regardless of your relationship status.
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