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Old 04-27-2012, 09:24 AM
 
10 posts, read 7,501 times
Reputation: 24

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I have been playing on an intramural league for about 8 weeks. Last week was our championship games. I met a very attractive girl from another team early on in the season. We talked occasionally but it wasn't until last night that we both confessed our attraction to each other.

I found out through a mutual friend that she was married not too long ago, but its a failing marriage aparently. She is 25 and I am 24. I am also in a relationship of my own. I feel like I would really like to pursue things with this girl. Is that wrong of me?

P.S I dont know anything else about her marriage except for hearing it is failing. She also took down all photos of him on facebook, so it seems to be public knowledge.
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Old 04-27-2012, 09:31 AM
 
5,073 posts, read 2,714,246 times
Reputation: 5309
Yep, its wrong. If you want to persue things with this girl, for one end your relationship first, because chances are you arent getting from it what you need. Otherwise, you wouldnt be interested in this other girl. Two, let her clean up the mess she is in. Keep in touch and if both of you are available at some point, go for it. If you hook up with this girl now, and she cheats on her current husband, no matter how their current marriage is going, she WILL do the same to you down the line. Trust me.
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Old 04-27-2012, 09:34 AM
 
Location: NY
6,194 posts, read 5,405,962 times
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I think pursuing a relationship with her could be trouble for you before you know more information. So you heard her marriage is failing. Failing is different than failed. She isn't divorced I take it, and by the sounds of it, there may not even be divorce proceedings. Her marriage may be rocky right now, but that doesn't mean effort isn't being put in to save it either.

If I were you, I would not want to be in the middle of that. I also would not want to be the person seen as the "homewrecker" who steps between a married couple and is the final wedge that drives them apart.
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Old 04-27-2012, 09:34 AM
 
2,345 posts, read 1,339,854 times
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I just had two different women eye-rape me at a bar when I was with my girlfriend. Temptation sucks, man. It's your life, though, why stay stuck in a relationship you're not sure you want? Or, try to talk your significant other into an open relationship.
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Old 04-27-2012, 09:57 AM
 
Location: NC
4,577 posts, read 2,729,675 times
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Grass is always greener.... wisdom in that.

Ask yourself is your relationship worth giving up on for alot of unknowns and future drama with this new woman's divorce.
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Old 04-27-2012, 09:59 AM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
44,880 posts, read 56,368,786 times
Reputation: 37980
Quote:
Originally Posted by H34T View Post
I have been playing on an intramural league for about 8 weeks. Last week was our championship games. I met a very attractive girl from another team early on in the season. We talked occasionally but it wasn't until last night that we both confessed our attraction to each other.

I found out through a mutual friend that she was married not too long ago, but its a failing marriage aparently. She is 25 and I am 24. I am also in a relationship of my own. I feel like I would really like to pursue things with this girl. Is that wrong of me?

P.S I dont know anything else about her marriage except for hearing it is failing. She also took down all photos of him on facebook, so it seems to be public knowledge.
Red flags all over the place - pay attention!

If you really can't get over her, then at least wait to make a move until she is free and clear of her marriage, and you have broken up with your GF.

Never get involved with someone who is still involved with someone else or you are just asking for heartache and problems.
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Old 04-27-2012, 10:00 AM
 
2,257 posts, read 852,154 times
Reputation: 2460
Quote:
Originally Posted by H34T View Post
I have been playing on an intramural league for about 8 weeks. Last week was our championship games. I met a very attractive girl from another team early on in the season. We talked occasionally but it wasn't until last night that we both confessed our attraction to each other.

I found out through a mutual friend that she was married not too long ago, but its a failing marriage aparently. She is 25 and I am 24. I am also in a relationship of my own. I feel like I would really like to pursue things with this girl. Is that wrong of me?

P.S I dont know anything else about her marriage except for hearing it is failing. She also took down all photos of him on facebook, so it seems to be public knowledge.
Most likely what a person in such a situation needs is a friend not another relationship (YET). Try to be a good friend in this time of turmoil and any potential relationship stuff can work itself out in time.

More important though realise this is just as much her choice as yours. If not more so. If she is ready for a new relationship then thats for her to decide - no one else.

So just keep doing what you are doing - the friendship - the games together - the talking - and be yourself. If you are the one for her then she will let you know.
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Old 04-27-2012, 10:02 AM
 
10 posts, read 7,501 times
Reputation: 24
Thank you all for the responses.

Yup. The grass is most certainly always greener on the other side. I had no intentions of hooking up with her. I just wanted to "test the waters" as they say. I was thinking of going out on a couple of low key "dates" to get a feel to what she's like. I was thinking this may not be of any harm. What do you think?
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Old 04-27-2012, 10:03 AM
 
Location: Morrisville, NC
3,607 posts, read 3,375,281 times
Reputation: 2937
If you want to go for it, break things off first. I can tell you that while you might think the worst case scenario is that it you get found out and it ruins one or both of your current relationships and yet does not work out between you. The real worst case is you find out you are perfect for each other, are madly in love and both of you want more than anything else to be with each other yet she somehow decides for whatever reason she can't leave her husband and you both have to live your lives knowing what you could have had but can't. Like a living hell that takes you years to get over.

Until she's out, there's always a chance she will stay.
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Old 04-27-2012, 10:04 AM
 
Location: Newcomer to the Cleveland area
1,253 posts, read 653,051 times
Reputation: 1049
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
Red flags all over the place - pay attention!

If you really can't get over her, then at least wait to make a move until she is free and clear of her marriage, and you have broken up with your GF.

Never get involved with someone who is still involved with someone else or you are just asking for heartache and problems.
For now, just be her friend. If both relationships (yours and hers) end then MAYBE make a move, but here are some things to remember:

1. If she's WILLING to cheat on her husband with you, even if you don't reciprocate, then how much value would she have to YOUR commitment to each other if you do in fact become a couple.

One exception to #1 might be if the marriage is essentially over but the legalities, but even then I'd wait, and watch how she acts and what she says.

2. Don't put yourself in the position of being a homewrecker and being thought of, rightly or wrongly, as the CAUSE of her divorce, assuming she even gets one.

Then there is your current relationship to contend with!
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