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Old 04-28-2012, 12:06 AM
 
Location: California
228 posts, read 230,421 times
Reputation: 139

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What is the deal with a friend who turns everything serious that I say into a flippant joke but expects loving attention, high regard, and support from me when he has something to say?
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Old 04-28-2012, 12:13 AM
 
24,548 posts, read 14,875,373 times
Reputation: 24974
Oh, I know this species..they are nacissistically insecure and afraid of intimacy.
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Old 04-28-2012, 01:15 AM
 
Location: 39 20' 59"N / 75 30' 53"W
12,130 posts, read 12,613,182 times
Reputation: 13525
Quote:
Originally Posted by furrypro View Post
What is the deal with a friend who turns everything serious that I say into a flippant joke but expects loving attention, high regard, and support from me when he has something to say?
I know someone like this, everything is a joke, its the same with pretty much everyone. Its not only annoying, its dismissive, as though what you have to say is of no importance.

But, they do show kindness and support with actions, and actions speak louder than words, so, its something I overlook and steer clear of serious discussions.
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Old 04-28-2012, 01:17 AM
 
Location: California
228 posts, read 230,421 times
Reputation: 139
I like both of these responses. They both make a lot of sense. I feel it's true in the situation that I am in.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thursday007 View Post
Oh, I know this species..they are nacissistically insecure and afraid of intimacy.
Quote:
Originally Posted by virgode View Post
I know someone like this, everything is a joke, its the same with pretty much everyone. Its not only annoying, its dismissive, as though what you have to say is of little importance.

But, they do show kindness and support with actions, and actions speak louder than words, so, its something I overlook and steer clear of serious discussions.
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Old 04-28-2012, 01:21 AM
 
Location: Texas
28,115 posts, read 24,084,256 times
Reputation: 33736
I don't know what's worse...Mr Incessantly Jokey or Mr Turns-everything-into-the-big-deal-it's-not.
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Old 04-28-2012, 01:25 AM
 
Location: California
228 posts, read 230,421 times
Reputation: 139
Either way I'm empathic and try to problem solve. I feel like I take the high road even if it's not a big deal to me. But what's not a big deal to me is a huge deal for others.

But the person I'm complaining about is that like: goes from Mr. incessantly jokey to Mr. Turns everything into a big huge deal and expects attention and admiration either way.

Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4 View Post
I don't know what's worse...Mr Incessantly Jokey or Mr Turns-everything-into-the-big-deal-it's-not.
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Old 04-28-2012, 04:10 AM
 
24,548 posts, read 14,875,373 times
Reputation: 24974
I think I actually know this guy. He is mostly in this relationship for the attention HE gets and needs and does not really care enough for you to make an effort. Any time there is an issue with you, whether it has to do with him or not, he will suddenly 'disappear' for sometimes days at a time. Don't ever show signs of sadness or emotion about anything. You can NEVER discuss issues about your relationship issues at all. But when something happens to him - look out! You'll hear things like, "You wouldn't say that if you knew what happened to me today." "It's different" "Oh, I'm not talking about this right now." "That's in the past." (Even if the issue was never discussed and resolved). The biggest issue with people like this is nothing ever gets resolved if there is a problem and the issues with your relationship and your needs just pile up and mount over a period of time and just festers. Continue on with a person like this and you are indeed looking for constant and continuous heartbreak.
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Old 04-28-2012, 10:18 AM
 
Location: 39 20' 59"N / 75 30' 53"W
12,130 posts, read 12,613,182 times
Reputation: 13525
Quote:
Originally Posted by furrypro View Post
Either way I'm empathic and try to problem solve. I feel like I take the high road even if it's not a big deal to me. But what's not a big deal to me is a huge deal for others.

But the person I'm complaining about is that like: goes from Mr. incessantly jokey to Mr. Turns everything into a big huge deal and expects attention and admiration either way.
Sorry its a deal breaker, unless you like roller coaster rides.

Everyone has there ups and downs to some degree. Theres a personality disorder or something going on.

If this is an SO (and why I said its a deal breaker), can you really live with this? Hes a make-over job so to speak, and you can't force a person to get help.

If its a friendship, I don't know what you could possibly be getting out of it but a huge headache, but you might want to let them know they need some therapeutic medical help.
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Old 04-28-2012, 02:36 PM
 
658 posts, read 671,586 times
Reputation: 719
I would stop talking about serious issues with them. Not all friends are meant to be confidantes. If a person is fun but is no good at giving advice or offering emotional support, that's a friend to go to when you want some mindless fun.
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Old 04-28-2012, 03:32 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
33,460 posts, read 19,308,861 times
Reputation: 23345
This sounds like a one-way friendship, and it's not going your way. Maybe time to move it to a back burner?
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