Having a baby with man - What does this mean to you? (dating, wives)

[Opsimathia]

Spin of another thread but I wonder what it does mean to some.

If you had a baby by a man do you think this allots you to special treatment?

I really would like to just share values as it seems to have a grand scope of varied opinions on the matter.

I personally feel married or not if I choose to have a child it is my responsibility alone. I would never make a plan to need a male to fulfill any parenting responsibility. It would be nice if that were the case. Personally I just don't feel you should procreate if you can not be a one parent person. Even if the person stayed by your side..what if they got ill etc?

The possibility of the uncertainty of having the person there is my reasoning for the stability of the child. What is your reasoning for you opinion?

[Irishiis49]

I would have to be married, financially and emotionally stable before having a child! Which I was by the way...

[lovesMountains]

Originally Posted by Opsimathia

Spin of another thread but I wonder what it does mean to some.

If you had a baby by a man do you think this allots you to special treatment?

I really would like to just share values as it seems to have a grand scope of varied opinions on the matter.

I personally feel married or not if I choose to have a child it is my responsibility alone. I would never make a plan to need a male to fulfill any parenting responsibility. It would be nice if that were the case. Personally I just don't feel you should procreate if you can not be a one parent person. Even if the person stayed by your side..what if they got ill etc?

The possibility of the uncertainty of having the person there is my reasoning for the stability of the child. What is your reasoning for you opinion?

Please don't ever have kids.

They need two parents and you don't seem to understand the importance of that.

[Rakin]

Originally Posted by lovesMountains

They need two parents and you don't seem to understand the importance of that.

It's not always possible but optimal. Amazing people do not understand the importance of gender roles of a male & female in kids lives. One of the reason so many kids are screwed up today is because of absent men and the role model of husband, father, man, handyman, etc.

I know, I know... it's not always possible. A mother loves, a father disciplines (and vice versa), it should take 2.

[lovesMountains]

Originally Posted by Rakin

It's not always possible but optimal. Amazing people do not understand the importance of gender roles of a male & female in kids lives. One of the reason so many kids are screwed up today is because of absent men and the role model of husband, father, man, handyman, etc.

I know, I know... it's not always possible. A mother loves, a father disciplines (and vice versa), it should take 2.

It "should" be that way because that's how God designed it

I know there are those here that don't want to hear that, or His name at all, but we have a whole generation of young women who think daddies are disposable and unnecessary.

This line of thinking is like a cancer on society that we are all reaping the negative consequences of.

[sierraAZ]

Originally Posted by Irishiis49

I would have to be married, financially and emotionally stable before having a child!

Exactly. I would not "have a baby with a man." If not marrried, had I decided to do something to that effect, then he wouldn't have even known about it. I don't like these blurry, in-between arrangements.

[Singlelady10]

Originally Posted by lovesMountains

Please don't ever have kids.

They need two parents and you don't seem to understand the importance of that.

With the divorce rate being so high, that's not reality. Some men continue to do right by their children while some men don't. It would be nice if that was the case.

[lovesMountains]

Originally Posted by Singlelady10

With the divorce rate being so high, that's not reality. Some men continue to do right by their children while some men don't. It would be nice if that was the case.

Plenty of divorced men are good daddies. Our OP is talking about not involving the man at all once she's conceived if it's not convenient for her.

Babies/children NEED fathers/father figures, not just mothers.

[Rakin]

Originally Posted by sierraAZ

Exactly. I would not "have a baby with a man." If not married, had I decided to do something to that effect, then he wouldn't have even known about it. I don't like these blurry, in-between arrangements.

What I don't understand is with the availability of cheap "BC Pills" through places like Planned Parenthood, etc why are there so many out of wedlock kids. (Don't want to get political)

As moderate-conservative as I am, we should have BC Pills issued by school nurses as needed in high school.

[SummerFall]

Ohh boy see..because people get pregnant in different types of situations, I dont know that we will find a clear answer. I think now adays, with all the teen pregnancies, and just out of wedlock pregnancies in general, Im not sure how people look at having a baby. Ive seen people knocked up by one night stands..get pregnant during an affair..get pregnant married..getting pregnant while being boyfriend and girlfriend, etc. I see women with 4 kids, each with a different daddy. Gee..guess she wants special treatment from all 4 of them.

As far as do I think I deserve special treatment if ..say..I had gotten pregnant while dating someone, and we broke up. NO. I practice what I preach. If I had gotten pregnant, then I would expect that both of us would have to act like adults and be good parents to this child, regardless if we were together or not. Even if I was married and got divorced, I know that my status will not be the same with him. BUT..my child's status should stay the same.

Funny the ones that were ex girlfriends or casually dating and got pregnant and think they deserve special treatment. Your man apparently never felt you were special enough to put a ring on your finger and marry you, with or without a kid. But here you are rolling up with your baby carriage like your poo dont stink. Step back, and be thankful and happy if the man is doing right by his child and loving him, supporting him and raising him right. Find another man for the love that YOU need.

Ex WIVES I may be a tad bit more understanding with..just a tad..because again..if its over its over. I expect there to be boundaries. Do what you need to do with respect to your child, but dont involve your nose into OUR business too much. Of course we all will have to deal with each other, espescially if he and I marry. But dont expect to do what you used to, or have the leeway you used to. I will respect your status as ex-'whatever', and mother of his child, but you BETTER respect mine.

I see women squirting out babies left and right nowadays like nothing. Like getting a new puppy.
So dont run that 'oh i have his child' crap on me. I may sound tough, but seriously as long as a woman is not trying to run MY household and my man, im good. Know the boundaries, and respect them.