Is a happy life without romantic love possible? (date, marriages, woman)

[Chi-turtle]

This isn't a problem for men, because getting the FWB is more difficult in your younger years. If you can land that in your 20's and early 30's, it only gets easier in the future because women become more desperate for a relationship/marriage as they age. Therefore if you have any social skills at all, you will meet women that clearly will be easy to get in the sack because their options are more limited now and will hope that sleeping with a man gets them closer to his heart. This may be true in some cases, but if you're a man seeking FWB's the rest of your life...it will only get easier as you age.

[Chi-turtle]

Originally Posted by scarletneon

But but who's gonna take care of you when you're older??? Lol.

The government. We pay social security, that goes toward something, right?

[SuburbOfMemphisTN]

If you are happy with self, then you are happy! People that try to "find" their happiness with or in somebody usually self destructs! Some people are happy with being single, others are for a time then grow to allow/want someone to share their life with. If that's not you right now then do what makes you happy...just be sure you are being honest with everyone involved, so the playing field is fair and no one gets hurt!

[LS Jaun]

Originally Posted by MsAnnThrope

Yes, Yes YES!!!

IMO most "relationships" cause no end of grief...even the good ones seem to falter and fail after a while.

The only true path to happiness is through one person - yourself. Too many people look to a partner to make them "happy" or their lives seem better. It is a mirage. We are all born, and all die, alone.

This is so true! I'm Happy or neutral with myself about 85% of the time. 10% of the time I'm not happy because of someone elses expectations of me: Boss, Relatives, Love interest and Friends form the majority of this. 5% or less I am not happy with myself. Need to work on what I have control over and minimize the reat!

[Yzette]

Originally Posted by The Dissenter

After some self-reflection, I realize I may be too selfish to ever be happy in a romantic long-term relationship. So I think it may be best for me not to have a long-term SO. Hopefully I can have a few flings or some FWB situations. So let's have it, do you think someone can have a happy life without a long-term romantic relationship?

Nuns, priests, and members of certain religious orders seem to be able to do it, and they're celibate. (Yes, yes, "or are supposed to be," and please, no jokes about perverted priests. ) Thing is, that is a conscious dedication to their order in which they deliberately forsake all romantic relationships and physical intimacy.

The way you are going about it--intending to have flings or FWB--may very well backfire on you. Love has a way of sneaking up and biting people on the butt.

The best thing to do is just learn to love yourself, be happy with who you are, and build a fulfilling life based on what you bring to your work, your local community, and the world in general.

Do I believe every pot has a lid? No. But I do believe that assuming you are a lidless pot at your age is selling yourself short out of fear of rejection, being taken advantage of, or getting hurt. And honestly? I really do think you are too young for that kind of defensiveness. Give yourself a chance to become a good man, and the rest will fall into place. Then you win, with or without a partner.

[Virijat]

I surely hope so because that's my case. Romantic love is nothing more than an illusion. You like the way people are now but you probably won't like them in 10 years. But then you will be married with all the legal issues that come with it, probably children, and so it's better to stay miserable because it's more comfortable.

I think having good knowledge of oneself's personality is one of the best virtues. Nobody will be unhappy because of me, that's for sure. And everyone ends alone. It's your death.

[The Dissenter]

Originally Posted by Dewdrop93

I think it's silly to say things like - you are too selfish for a relationship, you don't like anyone else enough to spend that much time with them, women are too (fill in the blank) for me to want to be with them all the time, etc. when you haven't actually fallen in love with anyone. Women are not all the same. Imagining an SO and actually having one are two completely different things. While I think it's perfectly fine to be happy on your own and to not desperately search for "the one" - I think it's impossible to say how you will feel if you ever do happen to meet someone and fall in love with them.

Of course you are too selfish when you are on your own. You can be. You want to be. But sometimes when you meet the right person - your selfishness magically goes away. You WANT to do things for this person because you LOVE them.

Basically - there is nothing wrong with being single but until you have actually fallen in love - you really have no idea how it is or what it will be like.

I'm very skeptical I'll ever be in a position to be in love. I fully doubt it.

[Dewdrop93]

Originally Posted by The Dissenter

I'm very skeptical I'll ever be in a position to be in love. I fully doubt it.

You don't have to be in a "position" to fall in love. You meet the right person and it just happens.

[gentlearts]

I have always been happy being alone, and can always find ways to amuse myself. However, I have a compatible husband, who I also enjoy having around. It saves me from talking to the cat.
Children can be a joy and a misery, and never stop causing me worry, so I think their importance is exagerated.

[Peacelilies]

Originally Posted by strawberrykiki

I think it's possible, but I'd be happier if I could find a long lasting relationship. I want a family and someone to share my life with.

Me too.