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What are you more likely to trust: your own observations, or the posts of strangers, many of whom are angry, embittered, ego-driven ("I'm so cool, I can pick up young chicks"), and for one reason or another, biased? Online communities, especially in the Relationships dept., don't reflect an average cross-section of the real world population.
This is true. There is a lot of garbage in these type of forums making it difficult to figure out what is reality. From new teens, nerds, people with no social skills, jaded male and females to trolls just posting for entertainment puposes, etc. So take everything your read here with a grain of salt, disregard non-useful comments, and judge your reality by your day-to-day experiences. And be open to meeting more people and get out to do so. From my experience, most men and women enjoy casually yapping about the opposite sex over coffee or drinks.
Also, let me share something with you that I expereinced a few years ago when I was an active member on another forum. The mods set up a social/happy hour inviting posters to drop by, hang out, meet, and have a few drinks with the others. I showed up and discovered that the posters who I thought were cool or potentially good friends, looked nothing like I had imagined nor were people I could see myself being friends with besides, but maybe 1 or 2 individuals, and in general their online activities were just alteregos (e.g., SimCity). So lesson learned: these online forums are good for information purposes only but not a good place to assess your reality.
Coming from a 29 year old male who has done a lot of dating in his life: Even though I have no desire to date anymore....if I did, I wouldn't aim for women in their 30's when I could easily land women in their 20's.
yep..thats why I like older men..but not more than 10 years older.
This works for most people on average, and thats why I would give the advice I have. Of course, here people like to say they are different which is fine because thats how I view myself. There are some woman and men that are timeless in my eyes so I have only loose guidlines that can change depending on who I meet.
But I see on many internet forums . . . so many men . . . on these sites who say they would only date women in their 20s or at least women who are younger than them, and how most men think and do the same.
There is also a lot of wishful thinking by men on these internet forums. It's one thing to express your thoughts about dating younger women, it's a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT THING TO ACTUALLY DO IT. I mean seriously, take a look at how many threads involve men discussing their lack of confidence in approaching, dealing with, or maintaining relationships with women. And most guys on this forum are lucky to even be able to reach the stage where they can meet and have an interesting conversation with a woman who they don't know outside of their family or the workplace.
Approach anxiety is a huge hurdle for 90% of men to overcome in trying to meet attractive or younger women, and most guys crash and burn repeatedly before they get good at it, if the experience doesn't crush their total sense of self-esteem in the process. Easier to go rub one out with online porn than to approach a hot chick.
This works for most people on average, and thats why I would give the advice I have. Of course, here people like to say they are different which is fine because thats how I view myself. There are some woman and men that are timeless in my eyes so I have only loose guidlines that can change depending on who I meet.
true...if I'm anything like my mother, I have hope to be timeless! we'll see. If not, oh well. I'm just lucky if men my age want to date me cause they all think I'm waaaay younger than them .
There is also a lot of wishful thinking by men on these internet forums. It's one thing to express your thoughts about dating younger women, it's a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT THING TO ACTUALLY DO IT. I mean seriously, take a look at how many threads involve men discussing their lack of confidence in approaching, dealing with, or maintaining relationships with women. And most guys on this forum are lucky to even be able to reach the stage where they can meet and have an interesting conversation with a woman who they don't know outside of their family or the workplace.
Approach anxiety is a huge hurdle for 90% of men to overcome in trying to meet attractive or younger women, and most guys crash and burn repeatedly before they get good at it, if the experience doesn't crush their total sense of self-esteem in the process. Easier to go rub one out with online porn than to approach a hot chick.
How refreshing to have a very "real" post like this one. This has been my observation, and a frequent complaint in talk shows and advice columns: "approach anxiety" on the part of the men. But no one's ever put a name to it like this. Good post.
true...if I'm anything like my mother, I have hope to be timeless! we'll see. If not, oh well. I'm just lucky if men my age want to date me cause they all think I'm waaaay younger than them .
See, now here's a woman who will be in her prime in her 40's and 50's. All the 20-somethings and 30-somethings will be after her. If she can snag a 40-year-old at that point (or if one snags her), she'll have someone to take care of her in her old age.
How refreshing to have a very "real" post like this one. This has been my observation, and a frequent complaint in talk shows and advice columns: "approach anxiety" on the part of the men. But no one's ever put a name to it like this. Good post.
Here's an exprience shared on another forum discussing this topic that I think most guys know what I'm talkng about...
"Finally one night I said to myself, all right, I’m going to go out tonight and I’m going to try to talk to girls.
I went out to this bar in my neighborhood. It was a Thursday night. A band was playing.
It was somewhat empty, maybe thirty people in the place.
I walked in and walked to the back to get a beer. That’s when I spotted this group of girls.
There were three of them, the only single women in the place. My goal was just to open a conversation.
I was just going to go up to them and say ‘Hey, is this band any good?’
And then I’ll just go home after that.
I just couldn’t do it.
I stood there. And stood there. It felt like an hour passed.
Finally I just walked out of the bar.
As I was driving home I was so angry at myself that I was literally crying.
I thought, ‘Oh this is so f_cking difficult, this is so f_cking difficult. Why is this so difficult?’”
Well, considering it is almost always men that are forced to do the approaching, is it really that shocking that some are having a hard time? Use your imagination and think what it would be like, if this situation was reversed, and it was the women that had to do all the leg work, while facing rejection at a pretty high rate. Not as funny anymore, is it?
Also, I agree with you guys that anything on the internet forums should be taken with a grain of salt, but if you know how to spot an honest opinion, it can be priceless because its rarely something you will hear in a face to face situation.
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