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Relationships have always been a two way street even before women started earning their own income. Why is paying for the date the only indication of gratitude? A women may buy a top she thinks her man would look good in, make him food, etc. There are plenty of women who earned their keep in their relationships, even if they've never paid for a date, and their men never expected that of them. There are more aspects of a relationship than being hung up on how much/how often a women pays for dates.
You might not directly indicate your displeasure, but some girls (even decent ones) may suspect you weren't sincere when you paid for the first few dates, if they notice you start expecting them to pay (, even if they're repaying you in ways that may not involve money). These women may consider your idea of "generosity" (i.e. paying for the first few dates) as "conditional," and decide they don't want to continue dating someone so hung up on if how much they pay for dates (especially if you asked them out, and they didn't demand that).
It seems you want a more independent women, which is fine; but women shouldn't always be painted with the same brush as gold diggers if they don't have the same standards you have. There are still men who don't care about these things, who are a better match for them, as there are women that meet your standards.
I don't see what is so unreasonable about asking her to contribute once or twice...I'm fine paying 90%, heck even 99% of the time. I just need to see some assuarance from her that she is invested in this too and isn't so "traditional" as to think men should always pay for everything. I understand women contribute to relationships outside of money and thus men are expected to contribute more financially, but I don't believe in one way financial streets. I don't care if the split is 90/10 or 50/50, but I need to see something coming from the other direction.
Im judging her attitude about paying, not the amount she pays.
If a woman doesn't want to give up what a man wants, then she should not accept the invitation in the first place.
But that's us Australians. You Americans with your dating styles and your chastity vows take the confusion to an ENTIRELY different level which I for one cannot fathom. Men and women getting together should be SO EASY, it's the most natural thing in the world...but for some reason it's got so complicated there that there are ENTIRE FORUMS devoted to trying to interpret what the other person needs/wants/expects.
It's not "Americans". It's a few confused disgruntled people that find their way to online forums to rant.
I've always been willing to pay for a date if I ask her out and she accepts. If she calls me up and asks me out, she pays. I've never kept track of who should be paying, I just enjoy her company and let it go at that. If she feels she owes me, that is her problem, I never do anything to make her feel that way. I like to think it is a two way street.
I don't see what is so unreasonable about asking her to contribute once or twice...I'm fine paying 90%, heck even 99% of the time. I just need to see some assuarance from her that she is invested in this too and isn't so "traditional" as to think men should always pay for everything. I understand women contribute to relationships outside of money and thus men are expected to contribute more financially, but I don't believe in one way financial streets. I don't care if the split is 90/10 or 50/50, but I need to see something coming from the other direction.
Im judging her attitude about paying, not the amount she pays.
I don't think we're both talking about just dating, but I am.
If the financial aspect is that important to you, then
a) don't take them out (it's not as if you're forced to)
b) Stick with independent, non traditional women; Then she won't judge your attitude you have toward the attitude of women when asked to pay
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