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Does the guy always pay for the date, from the get-go, or if they're meeting for coffee or going to lunch while they get to know each other, do they split the bill? What about with online dating, where you're meeting a stranger for coffee--is that different?
There was a time when women were advised to pay their own way on dates until they got to know the guy better, so that there wouldn't be any implication that the woman "owed" the guy anything (i.e. sex) in exchange for the money he spent on her. That advice is still given on dating websites. What has your experience been? Ladies: how important do you feel this is, paying your own way so some guy you've just met, who may or may not be a sleaze, doesn't have "leverage" over you?
First let me address that a man paying for a meal, a cup of coffee, drinks? Does not equate SEX ever..
I did online dating for awhile and I always let it be known that I do not have sex on the first date this way they knew and could plan accordingly.
I had 2 awkward experiences..
I finally agreed to go out with a guy who had been hounding me for 2 months..I agreed to meet him for lunch on my break during a training ( Saturday) . Mind you I agreed on a nearby place a cheap Chinese food takeout..
When we met outside he told me I was beautiful and he did not know what I was doing on that site ( sigh) Well when we went inside? He waited for me to go first and stood back? I knew right away that I was paying for my own meal which amounted to 6.00, really?
I would have had to pay for my lunch anyways since I did not bring my food with me however in my head I already rode him off, this and that he looked nothing like his pic, blah.
I ate my meal, listened to him ramble on and on about his business yet he lived with his mother in her mobile home park because his ***** wife took him for a ride..I could not run out of there fast enough. Later on that day? He texts me while I am at my nephews ballgame and asks me if I want to go over later and he can buy beer and give me a full body massage? Lmao..umm no..
The second time? Was when I met this guy that was military and we met at star bucks, I got there first and ordered my drink, he got there and he bought nothing ( awkward) He talked and talked about how good we would be together and then looked over and saw a hotwing place and stated “You should buy me some hot wings to take home to my son it is his bday and I do not have any money” yet he had a brand new camaro and tats one of which were NEW…? I stated no..he tried to ask me to go in the back of his car? I told him to eat crow, jumped in my car and told him to lose my number!
Every other date ( And there were many) all of them were gentleman and paid my way for everything regardless. One guy stated “I have never been here before, nice place, I tried something new” ( Thai food) To one man that owned his own business that came to see me 3 hours away and paid for everything, stayed the weekend and there was no SEX.. We dated for 4 more months.. A gentleman, to controlling imho but a man nevertheless.
In general? I do not pay and if a guy cannot pay for a cup of coffee? So sad..
I did. And my wife has been paying for it ever since. Hah.
Seriously, I tell my daughter, "The boy pays the first few dates. And it is never to be considered as payment for services rendered." To which she rolls her eyes. But hopefully the message has sunk in.
First let me address that a man paying for a meal, a cup of coffee, drinks? Does not equate SEX ever..
I did online dating for awhile and I always let it be known that I do not have sex on the first date this way they knew and could plan accordingly.
I had 2 awkward experiences..
I finally agreed to go out with a guy who had been hounding me for 2 months..I agreed to meet him for lunch on my break during a training ( Saturday) . Mind you I agreed on a nearby place a cheap Chinese food takeout..
When we met outside he told me I was beautiful and he did not know what I was doing on that site ( sigh) Well when we went inside? He waited for me to go first and stood back? I knew right away that I was paying for my own meal which amounted to 6.00, really?
I would have had to pay for my lunch anyways since I did not bring my food with me however in my head I already rode him off, this and that he looked nothing like his pic, blah.
I ate my meal, listened to him ramble on and on about his business yet he lived with his mother in her mobile home park because his ***** wife took him for a ride..I could not run out of there fast enough. Later on that day? He texts me while I am at my nephews ballgame and asks me if I want to go over later and he can buy beer and give me a full body massage? Lmao..umm no..
The second time? Was when I met this guy that was military and we met at star bucks, I got there first and ordered my drink, he got there and he bought nothing ( awkward) He talked and talked about how good we would be together and then looked over and saw a hotwing place and stated “You should buy me some hot wings to take home to my son it is his bday and I do not have any money” yet he had a brand new camaro and tats one of which were NEW…? I stated no..he tried to ask me to go in the back of his car? I told him to eat crow, jumped in my car and told him to lose my number!
Every other date ( And there were many) all of them were gentleman and paid my way for everything regardless. One guy stated “I have never been here before, nice place, I tried something new” ( Thai food) To one man that owned his own business that came to see me 3 hours away and paid for everything, stayed the weekend and there was no SEX.. We dated for 4 more months.. A gentleman, to controlling imho but a man nevertheless.
In general? I do not pay and if a guy cannot pay for a cup of coffee? So sad..
lol.
I pay if my date ask, makes no move to pay herself, or if I found my date really interesting/attractive. In all other instance it's going to be fifty fifty. This is in regards to full on restaurants that have some class though. For something cheap like coffee or quasi fast food, unless you dislike the women, I think the man should drop the dough and at least pretend to feign this is still the 1950's.
If he had manned up and controlled his dates in the first place, he wouldn't have been burned. He let his sister select the restaurant? He didn't check out their website to make sure it was affordable? As for the second date, why select a restaurant when you just want to buy a round of drinks? Come on, no sympathy.
The girl pays her half on all the dates. Men and women are equals right?... There you go. Not gonna spoil nobody.
Huh... And I always thought that when you liked someone - you wanted to spoil them. I mean, my husband and I both spoil each other because it makes us happy. But I guess that's not equal enough... I guess we should start treating each other like business partners instead of lovers...
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