How to get your girlfriend to lose weight? (girlfriends, women, love)

[VTHokieFan]

So I was wondering what's the best way to approach this issue. Before anyone jumps on my case about how shallow I am, please note my standards of weight for women are the same standards I hold to myself. That standard is a question: "What would a doctor have to say about your weight?" While I think asking for bigger boobs, or for better legs, etc IS shallow, I don't feel like wanting a healthy and medically good weight (in proportion to height) in a partner is too much to ask, especially when the partner holds himself to the same standards.

What's your thoughts on this? I'm not asking her to become super model slim, I'm asking her to go from medically overweight, to medically normal. I don't think that's a shallow request.

[findly185]

Is she active? Are you active? If so, ask her to join a gym with you, partake in outdoor (active) activities with you, walk the dog together (if you have one), and If she is the one buying the groceries maybe offer to take that responsibility over and not allow fatty, high-sugar foods into the house (depending on what her problem with food/exercise is).

Make it fun and whatever you do don't mention her weight as a problem...but her doctor could do a good job of scaring the extra lbs off if she is effecting her health.

[Baldrick]

Good luck with this...

[malamute]

You really can't.

Don't bother trying to change her, if she wanted to lose weight, she would find a way. It has to come from within. It's no different than trying to get someone to stop drinking, stop drugging, stop gambling.

[TabulaRasa]

If you're concerned about her health, it would be more productive to initiate exercising together, etc. than to have a big talky summit on how you want her to lose weight. Why not just become more active as a couple, eat out less, etc., work on whatever reasons she has a hard time staying at a healthy weight together. Action is better than talking, in this case. Build activities into your time together. If you all ordinarily do the couch potato thing at night, for example, make a habit of taking long walks together after dinner in the same time you'd ordinarily be chilling out watching TV, etc. Same relaxing benefits, more activity, and it's nice to spend the time together.

You can't issue an edict to somebody and expect it to go over well. But if you are coming from a genuine place of concern, you can always model beneficial behavior, and partner with the person you care about to make important lifestyle changes. Most people would be much more receptive to "Hey, let's go for a bike ride together, let's train for a 5k together," than "You need to get your butt to the gym. Lose some weight."

[Checkered24]

This is a train wreck looking for a place to happen.

How do you "get" her to lose weight? You don't.

You can encourage her to be more active, by suggesting joint activities. You can even encourage her to work out, or change her diet, if she is interested and motivated to do so.

However, if you want her to make lifestyle changes which she does not have the motivation to make, there is nothing you can do.

To be blunt, it sounds like you want to change your girlfriend into who you think your ideal girlfriend is. Thats not going to work. You have to love and accept who she is. If you pressure her to change, it will only create resentment.

[Torn2pieces]

Go walking together. I find walking helps with weight loss.. It's free and you both can do it together..

[FrmlyBklyn]

Take up running, tell her you need a running partner.
Of course, first start by walking, then jog a few feet, then walk, then you know the routine. Before you know it either you will be single again or she'll start packing on the muscle.

[findly185]

I don't get the "leave it be" comments. Understand that this is detrimental to one's health, no matter how touchy a subject it is. Food is like any other drug and I am sure (actually positive) that if the OP came on here asking what to do about his girlfriends heroin problem, you all wouldn't be saying "don't address it".

Being overweight is not as immediately detrimental, but has extreme health risks in the long run and everyone knows that.

[dave nz]

Say "Hey fatass, stop eating so much and do some exercise"

Works everytime