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Hi! I will try to answer your post. We have a different mentality, You get used to (it's not about You personally), you are making mountains out of molehills (to complicate simple things), If You are not indifferent attitude with him, then wait and see how they will develop the relationship further. If he becomes indifferent to you, then talk to and come to a common decision. If he will be faithful, gentle, respectful, then in any case you will not lose not what. The time will show. The main thing in relations is not love. This is the truth, understanding, loyalty, respect, love is the second already. Some confuse love with a habit of it are different things. If he will be with each passing day it becomes worse, then go ahead and live on. Good luck to you, with all my heart!!!!!Sorry for my .English I don't know him. The English language is difficult to Express their feelings, it is not so necessary words. Have words to simplify as much as possible. But the help I want!!
Nicolas
Thanks for this I really appreciate your point of view. Many times I think Americans focus on "LOVE" and overlook the other important qualities you just mentioned. (I know I'm guilty of this). As long as he is treating me with "understanding, loyalty, respect", love is secondary, like you said, for now.
Personally, I think you're toast, you're done, move on. Sorry, but love should never be "secondary"
I know there's two ways to look at this. Either he's stuck with me for the sex OR he has feelings for me and is unsure if it's safe to proceed.
Honestly, if he had told me, "Look, I enjoy spending time with you, but I can NEVER see myself falling in love with you" I would have moved on when he said that.
But what he said to me is, "I really like you a lot, I enjoy spending time with you and it's not just about the sex, I like HANGING OUT with you, too. I'm not in love with you, but I can't understand why I'm not. Maybe it's because you live with your ex, maybe it's because I'm looking for work and can't find it and am down on myself. I would prob be a horrible boyfriend right now, what kind of bf can I be without a job?"
So that's why I'm in the middle if I want to stick it out or not.
I know there's two ways to look at this. Either he's stuck with me for the sex OR he has feelings for me and is unsure if it's safe to proceed.
Honestly, if he had told me, "Look, I enjoy spending time with you, but I can NEVER see myself falling in love with you" I would have moved on when he said that.
But what he said to me is, "I really like you a lot, I enjoy spending time with you and it's not just about the sex, I like HANGING OUT with you, too. I'm not in love with you, but I can't understand why I'm not. Maybe it's because you live with your ex, maybe it's because I'm looking for work and can't find it and am down on myself. I would prob be a horrible boyfriend right now, what kind of bf can I be without a job?"
So that's why I'm in the middle if I want to stick it out or not.
You are certainly free to do whatever you want to do. It is your life.
But a man this ambivalent about his feelings is not generally a safe bet for the long term.
Just keep that in mind before you waste too much time okay?
Thanks for this I really appreciate your point of view. Many times I think Americans focus on "LOVE" and overlook the other important qualities you just mentioned. (I know I'm guilty of this). As long as he is treating me with "understanding, loyalty, respect", love is secondary, like you said, for now.
I'm Happy to help if my words gave the result. Love comes later if at the beginning of her and no. Love is important but it is built on respect, trust, and righteousness in the first очеред. otherwise it fades away with time. Although love is what is what don't explain and I believe and know that it exists
Personally I odnolyub (that is, if I love you with all my heart and soul and change no when) Because if a girl is with me, I will do it to be happy. I always say the truth that I'm going to be difficult and without me it will be easier to but if you're with me I'll do anything to have you there was no need for anything!!! I I won't promise that everything will be good always, it's for the sweet words but in my only truth will be like at all and tears and joy but if there is a love that will keep it until the death of the .Точно just as we have the song is called cold heart it is about love, it is in Russian if you want you can throw in a link her. Music has no different languages
So I guess my next question is, now that I HAVE moved out of the bedroom, do you think in time my relationship with the new guy will flourish?
Or do you think I killed it by having lived in the same bedroom w my ex for so long?
Again, I can't speak for your current man, only from my own experience and what I would be doing in that situation, but...
It's NOT going to flourish on its own, by magic. Too far done for that.
If you WANT it to flourish, then now is the time to talk to this guy, get your cards out in the open -- and that means asking him what he wants, being willing to admit what you think you've done right/wrong, and TALK to him.
Openly, and honestly. This is something surprisingly few people can manage.
Best of luck to you.
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I really appreciate your point of view. Many times I think Americans focus on "LOVE" and overlook the other important qualities you just mentioned. (I know I'm guilty of this). As long as he is treating me with "understanding, loyalty, respect", love is secondary, like you said, for now.
