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I give up. I have spent nearly 39 years trying to please people. I have spent 24 years making efforts in relationships. And I give up. It doesn't matter how good you are , how you look or even what a good character and heart you have. I just give up. Some say 'oh , I met my guy when I gave up' or "i met someone when I wasn't looking". This would be great asit is what I want. I am tired of the hurt , why try? Not trying to do the self pity but I really don't feel I desrrve this with all my efforts. anyone had better results not trying?
I wouldn't go with "give up", more so you should just work on yourself. Stop trying to make everyone happy, and make yourself happy. The funny thing is, if you push for a relationship, women don't tend to notice these things or they go directly for the "he's desperate" side. If you ignore them and worry about yourself and make yourself happy, they're more responsive. Start going for things you like, like hobbies, or something you've wanted to get into a long time ago but never really had the push for it.
I chose poorly and persist then get used. But at least Im clear what the last person I was with felt for me - nothing. On and off 3 years to the day of nothing.
Learn from your relationship mistakes and make some definite changes about who you select to be involved with and how you will handle the next relationship so you don't make the same mistake.
My ex-fiance and girlfriend after her both had foul tempers, at which point I concluded that it was my fault for making the same mistakes. I kept thinking that a women with certain qualities and experience was what I wanted but then I discovered that I only need a good looking woman who is caring and treats me with respect. Nationality, age, short/tall, education, divorced, or whatever, I was open to getting to know them to see if they measured up.
Your 39, many guy don't get married until after 40. But you gotta man up and make some changes. Otherwise you will continue to do the same and remain single, and older.
I chose poorly and persist then get used. But at least Im clear what the last person I was with felt for me - nothing. On and off 3 years to the day of nothing.
You know where you are making your mistake, so that is a good start. Now develop the discipline so that you don't make the same mistake again.
I wouldn't go with "give up", more so you should just work on yourself. Stop trying to make everyone happy, and make yourself happy. The funny thing is, if you push for a relationship, women don't tend to notice these things or they go directly for the "he's desperate" side. If you ignore them and worry about yourself and make yourself happy, they're more responsive. Start going for things you like, like hobbies, or something you've wanted to get into a long time ago but never really had the push for it.
Thank you. I am female , but probably good advice , still.
Learn from your relationship mistakes and make some definite changes about who you select to be involved with and how you will handle the next relationship so you don't make the same mistake.
My ex-fiance and girlfriend after her both had foul tempers, at which point I concluded that it was my fault for making the same mistakes. I kept thinking that a women with certain qualities and experience was what I wanted but then I discovered that I only need a good looking woman who is caring and treats me with respect. Nationality, age, short/tall, education, divorced, or whatever, I was open to getting to know them to see if they measured up.
Your 39, many guy don't get married until after 40. But you gotta man up and make some changes. Otherwise you will continue to do the same and remain single, and older.
I am a 39 yo divorced woman. I do wish to remarry.
Thank you. I am female , but probably good advice , still.
Sorry, the name didn't do the generalization of your thread justice. Meh, same goes for that too, though.
OK, let's generalize it a little more. You're projecting exactly what you get. I'm not sure why you're "giving up", but maybe you haven't really thought of what you really wanted. Even writing it down on paper and being specific about a person you would want to meet. Then, follow the other suggestions I've said. Make yourself happy first and the rest will take care of itself.
I am a 39 yo divorced woman. I do wish to remarry.
why do you want to remarry? wouldn't male companionship be good enough?
My sister lost her husband to cancer about 7 years ago and while I'm sure she entertains the idea of marrying again, I think she cherishes the experience she had and accepts it as the best opportunity she had. She over 40 has no kids too. Similarly, I'm going through a separation and divorce and have decided I will never marry again because once is enough, but I'll keep the good memories of my experience for the sake of reminiscing. And I've also decided that all I need is having an LTR with somehow who cares or is a friend. I'm over 40 and have no kids, but will look for other ways to have kids without marrying.
I give up. I have spent nearly 39 years trying to please people. I have spent 24 years making efforts in relationships. And I give up. It doesn't matter how good you are , how you look or even what a good character and heart you have. I just give up. Some say 'oh , I met my guy when I gave up' or "i met someone when I wasn't looking". This would be great asit is what I want. I am tired of the hurt , why try? Not trying to do the self pity but I really don't feel I desrrve this with all my efforts. anyone had better results not trying?
why do you want to remarry? wouldn't male companionship be good enough?
My sister lost her husband to cancer about 7 years ago and while I'm sure she entertains the idea of marrying again, I think she cherishes the experience she had and accepts it as the best opportunity she had. She over 40 has no kids too. Similarly, I'm going through a separation and divorce and have decided I will never marry again because once is enough, but I'll keep the good memories of my experience for the sake of reminiscing. And I've also decided that all I need is having an LTR with somehow who cares or is a friend. I'm over 40 and have no kids, but will look for other ways to have kids without marrying.
I also have no children. My ex bf and I broke up about 2 years ago first time. I didn't know any better and began having sex with him outside of relationship 2 months later. That was degrading , and I stopped seeing him , just a few texts , always him initiating for following 3 mos. We got backtogether and he dumped me again 2 mos later. This time apart officially 5 mos. But we did see e/o about once everu 3 weeks , usually my idea , no sex. He recommitted and seemed to be happy with me. But he had an old female roommate who kept coming to town and bringing another woman to stay at the house. One day about 5 am , the roommates friend drunk , came to our bedroom. I had a fit.I have a bad temper. They said I was crazy , the girl had a fiancee , she didn't mean anything by it ,etc. After my tantrum , he said we were going nowhere. He acted like a total jerk and we broke up again. We start seeing e/o again and he wants sex. I am not ready , but willing to recommit. He says he's not ready for that. We talk about doing dinner with the family for his birthday , but he doesn't contact , I left it to him and about a week later , my sister says she saw on Facebook he has a girlfriend. He wouldn't put me back on after 1st break up 2 years ago. Guess who girlfriend ? The drunk who had a fiancee. Faithful? Responsible? She hasn't had a paying job in a year and was living out of state with fiancee before , apparently she left. I suspect she lives with my ex & drives his car. The things I wanted , he gave her.
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