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I don't think it's about feminine virtues. He's just not full of anger. I really believe it's in his nature, or at least he grew into it. Coming from an effed up family myself, tho, I cannot deny that there must be an affect of being raised in a solid family. He's one of six kids. His parents and grandparents were all educated (men and women), all married for the long haul. His sisters are married for the long haul. All of their families are successful. All of these people are ok and they are obviously not the only one's out there. I would call them privileged.
I just asked my husband the question any way, and we discussed his family, but he says that (in his opinion) "men who are misogynistic tend to be the guy's that can't get women". He then went on to discuss being hyper-sexual in his 20s and that men who have poor success with women during those years are likely to develop resentment.
I agree with the latter part, sure, but I don't see a lot of conflict that's rooted in different goals. What kind of conflict do you have in mind?
As far as fundamental differences from birth goes, I think I may have a unique perspective. I had a male twin. From cell 1 he was with me and we remained tight through out our lives. I sensed no negative in-born anything against our genders.
That was funny. I'll give you that.
Well I'm not promoting misogyny in anyway but I have to disagree with your husband. (of course this has to do with a different social circle) Where I have grown up many misogynistic men have had no trouble getting female attention. These guys treat women far worse than the guys on this site and are constantly referring to every woman outside of family members (and sometimes even them) with derogatory and sexist slurs. Hell many of these misogynistic guys are the deadbeat dads you hear about with several different kids by several different women.
Now before you say it yes, I'm aware of what type of women these guys attract. But from the standpoint of many guys who have never been successful with the opposite sex, being successful with these type of women is better than not going anywhere at all. That's why so many of these lonely dudes look up to the players and join the seduction community.
I don't think it's about feminine virtues. He's just not full of anger. I really believe it's in his nature, or at least he grew into it.
i agree that anger plays a key role in the male-female conflict. i don't know if it's a symptom or a cause.
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I just asked my husband the question any way, and we discussed his family, but he says that (in his opinion) "men who are misogynistic tend to be the guy's that can't get women". He then went on to discuss being hyper-sexual in his 20s and that men who have poor success with women during those years are likely to develop resentment.
i hypothesized this, but so many of the men i have in mind (who are misogynist and/or critical of women) have tons of experience and success. This goes for my high school buddies, college buddies, my own family, and what i read on the internet. In fact it's the less-experienced men I know who maintain this idealistic view of women , so IMO it's the opposite. It's difficult for me to ignore all of what i've seen.
keep in mind though , no husband out there has any interest in being forthright and honest about this topic. for that reason, your husband isn't exactly credible. that's why I'm always amused and interested that you bring him up as an example, i can just imagine .. "Yeah baby, whatever you say... " Most husbands i know are very aware of keeping their wives happy on a short-term basis.
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I agree with the latter part, sure, but I don't see a lot of conflict that's rooted in different goals. What kind of conflict do you have in mind?
different expectations. i'm not in any shape to type it all out right now.
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As far as fundamental differences from birth goes, I think I may have a unique perspective. I had a male twin. From cell 1 he was with me and we remained tight through out our lives. I sensed no negative in-born anything against our genders.
maybe 'from birth' was hyperbole. some is from birth, some is culture.
I don't think it's about feminine virtues. He's just not full of anger. I really believe it's in his nature, or at least he grew into it. Coming from an effed up family myself, tho, I cannot deny that there must be an affect of being raised in a solid family. He's one of six kids. His parents and grandparents were all educated (men and women), all married for the long haul. His sisters are married for the long haul. All of their families are successful. All of these people are ok and they are obviously not the only one's out there. I would call them privileged.
I just asked my husband the question any way, and we discussed his family, but he says that (in his opinion) "men who are misogynistic tend to be the guy's that can't get women". He then went on to discuss being hyper-sexual in his 20s and that men who have poor success with women during those years are likely to develop resentment.
I agree with the latter part, sure, but I don't see a lot of conflict that's rooted in different goals. What kind of conflict do you have in mind?
As far as fundamental differences from birth goes, I think I may have a unique perspective. I had a male twin. From cell 1 he was with me and we remained tight through out our lives. I sensed no negative in-born anything against our genders.
That was funny. I'll give you that.
+1 for husband. I think most guys that had their fun at a younger age, grew up normal. All the bitter guys I have talked to are super awkward, and strike out on par with Mark Reynolds.
- Guys unable to get anywhere with women, due to attrocious dating advice they have received from their female family members or friends. You know like, "be a nice guy", " just be yourself", "shower her with gifts", "treat her like a princess", "always bring flowers". Following this type of advice will almost always land a guy in the land of complete failure in the dating world.
- Many women are unable to accept any type of criticism, even if its constructive. 99% of women who are caught cheating for example, will point immediately to what her guy hasnt done in the relationship, which of course was the reason for her actions. Sometimes criticism is warranted, and if someone says the truth about how they feel, it doesnt mean they hate women. Theyre just voicing their opinion.
- Many women are unable to accept any type of criticism, even if its constructive. 99% of women who are caught cheating for example, will point immediately to what her guy hasnt done in the relationship, which of course was the reason for her actions. Sometimes criticism is warranted, and if someone says the truth about how they feel, it doesnt mean they hate women. Theyre just voicing their opinion.
I have found that to generally be true and it is strange. Most of the women I know are completely incapable of accepting criticism, whether they dish it or not.
I remember I was telling one of my exes what she could do to improve her personal relations with people and she completely didn't want to hear it. She almost left the restaurant we were at in a huff. My sister is the exact same way. To be fair, my last girlfriend was fairly open to criticism, but most women aren't.
I think it's realistic. That's what I believe. There's no need to discuss that.
I think my post relates to what you believe quite well.
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Originally Posted by Ro2113
Well I'm not promoting misogyny in anyway but I have to disagree with your husband. (of course this has to do with a different social circle) Where I have grown up many misogynistic men have had no trouble getting female attention. These guys treat women far worse than the guys on this site and are constantly referring to every woman outside of family members (and sometimes even them) with derogatory and sexist slurs. Hell many of these misogynistic guys are the deadbeat dads you hear about with several different kids by several different women.
I think you are correct IRT social circles. I think it's class oriented, as with most things. What's important about this distinction, imo, is that these proclaimed gender differences, challenges, or whatever, are not innate.
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Now before you say it yes, I'm aware of what type of women these guys attract. But from the standpoint of many guys who have never been successful with the opposite sex, being successful with these type of women is better than not going anywhere at all. That's why so many of these lonely dudes look up to the players and join the seduction community.
I suppose a line can be drawn in the sand here between misogynists. The guys in your story are not the one's complaining on internet sites. They're, perhaps, a different breed of misogynists
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" Most husbands i know are very aware of keeping their wives happy on a short-term basis.