Do you have any deal-breakers that are a little unique (friend, definition)

[JetJockey]

Originally Posted by Chi-turtle

I love threads like this, because I read what people say and find I have none of the "deal breaker traits" yet I've had horrible luck with women and have been passed over many times.

I just think it's ironic. Clearly people don't really care about dealbreakers.

Which is why I said mine aren't set in stone

I've actually found a man who is smart, into star trek and star wars, is nerdy and into cars... So far he doesn't have a single deal breaker and I couldn't be happier . I think it's just a matter of putting yourself out there and hoping something clicks.

[stan4]

Originally Posted by Chi-turtle

I love threads like this, because I read what people say and find I have none of the "deal breaker traits" yet I've had horrible luck with women and have been passed over many times.

I just think it's ironic. Clearly people don't really care about dealbreakers.

Because these are the weirdo deal-breakers.
Not the regular list.
For example, I thought the whole liking animals thing was a regular deal-breaker.

This is on top of the regular list.

I think I'd put anyone who said, "Music is my life" on my list of dealbreakers.

I don't like it when people say, "X is my life." It makes me worry that they are obsessive about something, and I'm not into that.

[findly185]

Originally Posted by stan4

Because these are the weirdo deal-breakers.
Not the regular list.

This is on top of the regular list.

I think I'd put anyone who said, "Music is my life" on my list of dealbreakers.

I don't like it when people say, "X is my life." It makes me worry that they are obsessive about something, and I'm not into that.

So people who say "their kids are their lives" are in this category too?

I could understand "drinking, partying, neg things are my life" as a problem...music seems pretty harmless. Having a passion is also a deal breaker for me. People who are mediocre and "like" but aren't great at anything seem to be a little boring.

[Whyte Byrd]

Originally Posted by stan4

Because these are the weirdo deal-breakers.
Not the regular list.
For example, I thought the whole liking animals thing was a regular deal-breaker.

This is on top of the regular list.

I think I'd put anyone who said, "Music is my life" on my list of dealbreakers.

I don't like it when people say, "X is my life." It makes me worry that they are obsessive about something, and I'm not into that.

That's called having a passion for something. Nothing wrong with it. Everyone should have at least one passion in life.

[stan4]

Originally Posted by Whyte Byrd

That's called having a passion for something. Nothing wrong with it. Everyone should have at least one passion in life.

Mmmmmmmmmmmm...there's having passion for life in general (and going after things/hobbies with gusto), and there is having obsessions that kind of make you one-dimensional.
If someone says, "Music is my life," well, then they are better off with someone else who feels the same. Because they will likely bore the pants off of someone like me (who enjoys music greatly, plays a couple of instruments, but can't be all music all the time).

To the other poster, why would I want to date anyone whose kids are their life? Where does that put me?

I have a child. I worship the ground he walks on (well, he doesn't walk yet, but you get what I mean). I would jump in front of a bullet for him. I spend almost every piece of my time off with him. But he's not my LIFE. Being his parent does not define ME. My life is a complex series of activities, interests, people, and a lot of hard work.

[Trimac20]

I'd actually prefer someone who was just a wee bit obsessive about her interests. Not to a ridiculous degree where she ignores me/everyone else gets consumed by it, but it shows she really gets excited about something. Better than someone who was more casual about liking things.

[findly185]

Originally Posted by stan4

Mmmmmmmmmmmm...there's having passion for life in general (and going after things/hobbies with gusto), and there is having obsessions that kind of make you one-dimensional.
If someone says, "Music is my life," well, then they are better off with someone else who feels the same. Because they will likely bore the pants off of someone like me (who enjoys music greatly, plays a couple of instruments, but can't be all music all the time).

To the other poster, why would I want to date anyone whose kids are their life? Where does that put me?

I have a child. I worship the ground he walks on (well, he doesn't walk yet, but you get what I mean). I would jump in front of a bullet for him. I spend almost every piece of my time off with him. But he's not my LIFE. My life is a complex series of activities, interests, people, and a lot of hard work.

My God it's a figure of speech. People who say music is my life means music is something they take part in on a daily bases, just like your child is something you think about and take part in his or her life EVERY DAY.

[dialem28]

I won't date a guy who has a wife.

[stan4]

Originally Posted by findly185

My God it's a figure of speech. People who say music is my life means music is something they take part in on a daily bases, just like your child is something you think about and take part in his or her life EVERY DAY.

So...now I can't take something you claim to be 'your life' seriously because it's just a figure of speech?

When someone says, "XYZ is MY LIFE," I take to mean something very significant. I think that is, by definition, a very defining statement.
I don't hear it bandied about casually.
When I hear people use it, they are saying that this interest/activity is something they pursue to the exclusion of other activities.
Like my fitness/bodybuilding friends, my music friends, my art friends, my friends who race, my friends who do dog showing/agility, etc. They spend so much time and energy on these activities, it defines who they are. It is a LIFESTYLE.
And they really don't have time/money for other interests.

But you're saying it's just some daily hobby/activity.

By your definition, that would mean work is everyone's life or taking showers or making a poopie...

[Whyte Byrd]

Originally Posted by stan4

So...now I can't take something you claim to be 'your life' seriously because it's just a figure of speech?

When someone says, "XYZ is MY LIFE," I take to mean something very significant. I think that is, by definition, a very defining statement.
I don't hear it bandied about casually.

But you're saying it's just some daily hobby/activity.

By your definition, that would mean work is everyone's life or taking showers or making a poopie...

I wouldn't date someone who nitpicked and over analyzed the way people express themselves.