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Two years ago, i used to talk to this guy and it ended up not working out, but I still think about him everyday : ( Around that time period, I went crazy and got diagnosed as manic depressive. I did things that I never in a million years could have imagined myself doing. i believe it sabitoged the whole thing in addition to many other things in my life at that time. The story of what happened is insane, i guess to fully understand my predicament id have to go into it, but i really dont want to rehash it because it makes me cringe : (. I am now on medication for my illness, but I still get depressed from time to time(most of the time). In the short period that we talked, he had such a disturbing impact on me and still runs through my mind to this day. We didnt date, just hung out a couple times, but that still doesnt change the fact that I wish things were different. I know that things could never be the way I want with him, but I just want to know that I am going to meet someone new that is going to negate this stupid fantasy all together. I feel like its never going to happen though : ( Im really young (under 23) and I know that I still have a whole lot of life to live, and to be honest, I really dont want a reationship right now or anytime soon. I just want to stop feeling for this guy! I want to not want to be in this dream anymore
any advice guys?
thank you <33 xoxo
Take time for you. Go over the things you have learn and make it a learning experience. Every hardship we go through makes us the person we are today. We've all went through love pains. I know I have. But take your time. Don't rush into a relationship to ease your pain, for love, validation, or for fear of being alone. You will just take out your anger on the next person.
Stay on your Meds, continue seeing a doctor, stay in school, get a hobby, volunteer to help others and don't get pregnant.
Improvement in your mental health needs to be your 1st priority.
I agree with Rakin. Have you talked with your therapist regarding your inability to get over this young man from your past? Perhaps the therapist could help you overcome your obsessive thoughts about him and let him go so that you can move on.
Your time will come. Take care.
.
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Two years ago, i used to talk to this guy and it ended up not working out, but I still think about him everyday : ( Around that time period, I went crazy and got diagnosed as manic depressive. I did things that I never in a million years could have imagined myself doing. i believe it sabitoged the whole thing in addition to many other things in my life at that time. The story of what happened is insane, i guess to fully understand my predicament id have to go into it, but i really dont want to rehash it because it makes me cringe : (. I am now on medication for my illness, but I still get depressed from time to time(most of the time). In the short period that we talked, he had such a disturbing impact on me and still runs through my mind to this day. We didnt date, just hung out a couple times, but that still doesnt change the fact that I wish things were different. I know that things could never be the way I want with him, but I just want to know that I am going to meet someone new that is going to negate this stupid fantasy all together. I feel like its never going to happen though : ( Im really young (under 23) and I know that I still have a whole lot of life to live, and to be honest, I really dont want a reationship right now or anytime soon. I just want to stop feeling for this guy! I want to not want to be in this dream anymore
any advice guys?
thank you <33 xoxo
Honey, you need to check in with your doctor and/or therapist.
You are obsessing over this person and having other issues that indicate your medication may need to be tweaked okay?
Two years ago, i used to talk to this guy and it ended up not working out, but I still think about him everyday : ( Around that time period, I went crazy and got diagnosed as manic depressive. I did things that I never in a million years could have imagined myself doing. i believe it sabitoged the whole thing in addition to many other things in my life at that time. The story of what happened is insane, i guess to fully understand my predicament id have to go into it, but i really dont want to rehash it because it makes me cringe : (. I am now on medication for my illness, but I still get depressed from time to time(most of the time). In the short period that we talked, he had such a disturbing impact on me and still runs through my mind to this day. We didnt date, just hung out a couple times, but that still doesnt change the fact that I wish things were different. I know that things could never be the way I want with him, but I just want to know that I am going to meet someone new that is going to negate this stupid fantasy all together. I feel like its never going to happen though : ( Im really young (under 23) and I know that I still have a whole lot of life to live, and to be honest, I really dont want a reationship right now or anytime soon. I just want to stop feeling for this guy! I want to not want to be in this dream anymore
any advice guys?
thank you <33 xoxo
I'm truly starting to believe that we hold onto certain "images" of people for as long as we desire. I always laugh at how people put a time frame on when someone should be "over" someone. The bottom line is, it is up to you. You can pretent "he" was your perfect thing, your knight in shining armour, your ever lasting love. You can hold those few memories and keep being unhappy. Or, and I am not saying that this is easy. You can move on. You can tell yourself that he probably "isn't" whatever "image" you have created of him. You can say, it just didn't work out. You can tell yourself if it was meant to be, it would have-and move on.
Your doing two things by holding onto this "dellusion". I call it that because that is exactly what it is. You are putting him on a pedastal and making him something he is not. Plus, you are making it impossible for you to meet someone new. Because nobody's going to live up to those expectations you've put forth in your mind on what he was or is. The longer you hold onto him, the longer it will be that you will never find anyone. I know you say that you want to be alone. Perhaps that's true. But pining for something that just isn't real will not only keep you that way, but it will make you permanently unhappy.
Your too young to think that you know what or who is best for you. You have a long life ahead of you and you better start living it. Keeping your mind on something that is most likely never going to be is unhealthy for anyone. You need to clear your mind and your heart of this "thing" in which you have created.
Your young. Go have some fun. Now is the time to do lots of dating, so that you can start to know what you really do or don't like in a relationship. You're way too young to be grieving for someone this bad, especially someone you never even dated..
I hope you snap out of this funk your in. Something tells me you must be "comfortable" in this funk. Perhaps you enjoy your torture. Sometimes people can go years being unhappy because simply put, they want to be that way.
Something tells me you must be "comfortable" in this funk. Perhaps you enjoy your torture. Sometimes people can go years being unhappy because simply put, they want to be that way.
This is a very good point. Sometimes we torture ourselves with thoughts like this because it makes it easier to make excuses about why we "can't" move forward.
Fantasy is ok for a little while, but to keep it up for this long only prevents you from focusing on the present.
Yea I have looked into the whole obsession thing and that helps turn me off. im in a whole different place now that my meds have kicked in though. Im not nearly as depressed anymore. I can focus on my present. thank you for your advice!
Yea youre absolutly right, suffering is a choice. Ive known that though, but now that my meds have started working, I actually feel it. I am in a lot better of a place than when I posted this.
"Because nobody's going to live up to those expectations you've put forth in your mind on what he was or is. The longer you hold onto him, the longer it will be that you will never find anyone."- yea this is so true....its just like, i guess its just going to have to run its coarse on its own. obviously i need to stop letting my thoughts control me and I need to change my mindset, but my main worry is(was), i dont want this to be something that i have to constantanly navigate around my whole life. i know it wont be though, im just being dramatic and stupid. bottom line, you said it, if it was meant to be, it would have happened.
thank you so much for your sweet, honest and supportive advice. it really hit home. best wishes to you!
Yea, im feeling a lot better than when I posted that message. But yea, I like the way you put it, that word "obsession", i associate that with being a psycho, which i refuse to be. thanks thats exactly what i needed to hear!
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