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If SHE had read MY post more carefully, I said that I have known cheaters and they have been very sorry that they did that and were generally decent people.
People make up their own moral sets of rules based on their own life experiences so nobody cares what anybody thinks of them.
Why would anybody care what someone else says about your character on an anonymous message board anyway?
Not to quibble, since we've since made up , but in post #58 you did say to me and red velvet,
"It's pretty safe to assume you both have cheated before."
Meh, I don't really agree. When you (in the general) tell someone you are monogamous with them, and you lie about it, you're no better than the married person who cheats, in my estimation. If anything, you're more of a coward, because it's easier for you to just break up with the person, no lawyers necessary.
Well, you would be wrong. Sorry, but marriage IS entirely different than a shack-up arrangement. Ask the people who won't get married why. Ask them what the differences are. Believe me, they will tell you.
If there were no differences, everyone would do it...fact is, yes, there are huge differences in vows under God and legal contracts that can add an array of situational issues to two people's lives.
Really ... what it boils down to is just a difference of the way you view relationships.
I am very cold and rational when it comes to relationships. All of the emotional connection and crush and love at first sight stuff ... that's all garbage to me.
I definitely do not feel like there are people out there meant for us ... no way.
I value trust and loyalty over connection and emotions.
Interesting how others see things and often times people assume things when they don't even take the time to ask questions first in order to have the facts!
Redvelvet709...you put some real work into this thread, and spoke truth, morals and kept it real....as always nice to hear your opinions!!
Ha! Thank you; I do appreciate knowing there are others who consider the entire spectrum!
Really ... what it boils down to is just a difference of the way you view relationships.
I am very cold and rational when it comes to relationships. All of the emotional connection and crush and love at first sight stuff ... that's all garbage to me.
I definitely do not feel like there are people out there meant for us ... no way.
I value trust and loyalty over connection and emotions.
People do things differently. That's all.
No problem having a different point of view
My intention with starting this thread was to give young women some perspective they might not yet have.
I see too many of them come on the threads here with their self-esteem damaged because their guy has cheated on them
It's bad enough when that happens, but young women make the situation worse by becoming obsessed with trying to figure out "why" the guy found the other woman more attractive.
Most times you are just not going to ever understand the "why", so it's a waste of time and energy to focus on that when you should be focusing on what you can really learn from the situation to move forward and build back your self esteem.
We are not animals driven to mate indiscriminately. We do not have to have sex with every person we find to be attractive. We make choices. We aren't Bonobo monkeys. A whiff of pheromones or a cute butt does not make us take leave of our senses.
The cheater decides this new conquest is worth the risk. It's a conscious decision. They know what they are doing is wrong and if they get caught there will be consequences. They also know they are showing a huge lack of respect and disregard to the person who agreed to forsake all others and enter into a committed relationship with them. They are hurting the person who loves and trusts them more than anyone else.
Of course they think they won't get caught and therefore will not suffer the consequences.
Being cheated on is a form of rejection. After all, the cheating spouse did reject you in favor of sex with someone else. And then there's the betrayal of trust on top of all the rest of it. There are 3 people(at least) involved. It is never only about the cheater.
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, but in post #58 you did say to me and red velvet, 
LMBO....
